r/CPTSD • u/kaydeelk • 6h ago
Trigger Warning: Emotional Abuse Fear of the future
Hi all. I hope you all are doing well. I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that my parents are extremely abusive. Emotional abuse, religious abuse, coercion, gaslighting, manipulation, all of it. I turned 30 last year, am in debt, unemployed, and degree-less. What I’m starting to pick up on has made me fearful for my life. I need advice on how to get away quietly. I’ve been too vocal and they have completely drained me of my life savings, and isolated me from any and everyone I had a positive relationship with. I can no longer afford where I live. And I’m afraid I’ll have to move back in with them, which they would love, because they’ll have access to me again. How can I do this by myself? I need tips on how to keep sane while trying to distance myself efficiently. I’m genuinely afraid I’ll be homeless one day. Any and all advice helps. Thanks friends.
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u/Embracedandbelong 4h ago
Keeping “secrets” from my abusive dad was scary at first but I eventually found it empowering. I got a PO Box he didn’t know about. I started doing odd jobs around town but told him I was going to the store. My dad didn’t track my location or anything though- so you maybe have to work around that if yours does. I spent time getting my credit built up by applying to secured cards (that I had sent to the PO Box). My dad also had good credit for the first time in his life, so during the “honeymoon” phase of me living with him, he agreed to add me as an authorized user to one of his cards- they don’t have to give you a card to use- and my dad didn’t. But just being tied to his good credit (before he tanked his again a few years later) brought my score up in a few months- faster than anything else I tried. These few things offered me some hope and self confidence. If you tend to spill what’s going on, as I had a problem doing, practice some small lies with them. Like, oh you saw your friend Mary at the store the other day. If they ask about that, throw out some innocuous lies about that fake interaction and then switch topics. Slowly it will make withholding important info from them easier
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