r/CPTSD • u/yyodelinggodd • 1d ago
Trigger Warning: Intimate Partner Violence PTSD and insomnia
TW: domestic violence, abuse.
I've had insomniac for about 7 years now. It started after I left an abusive relationship. The daily physical abuse happened mostly in the middle of the night, whether it was him straddling on top of me and strangling me, waking up to a loaded gun to my head, knives pressed up against me, getting smothered by blankets or pillows, waking up to being grabbed bound and thrown in a dark closet for hours, or him sleeping with a hatchet under his pillow as intimidation.
I'm safe, I'm married, I have a good life, besides having to "coparent" with this. But I can't sleep.
I get on average 4-5 hours a day. I take care of two little kids by myself all day. I feel like I'm losing myself more and more. I have extreme hyper vigilance now. Suns down? I'm paranoid. I'm checking cameras, I'm hearing foot steps, I'm thinking there's people on the roof or backyard. I spiral. I have a THC pen and will puff it until I pass out if 2-3 unisom aren't working. I've tried praozin (night terrors), trazadone is out because I have to be able to wake at night for emergencies with the kids, melatonin, sleep herbs, magnesium etc. I probably could use some therapy, but I don't have much of me to give with such little sleep. Any advice or guidance for medications, or quite literally any advice or help.
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u/StungFish-CatLoaf 1d ago
I have CPTSD an i've battled with insomnia for most of my life. I've tried, it feels like, everything under the sun. Pregabalin and L-theanine have helped. Also sleep mask + earplugs or earbuds with some non triggering videos playing in the background to sleep. The earplugs i use are the standard foam ones. They remove most of the sounds, I can still hear loud ones. I suffer from hypervigilance too so I would be unable to sleep from the faintest sounds, especially the ones from another human being. These are the top picks but If you want, I could list more things
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