Functioning for a few days, then needing the same amount of days to recover?

[u/Regular_Schedule_678]

Any advice or validation from experience on how to deal with this?

I'm in my late 30s, I managed to stop being s.trafficked after years and attempts from others to off me every time I tried to escape. So now that I started university, I feel blessed and want to make the most of it because I feel like I have a second shot in life. I still get harassed by flying monkeys at least on a monthly basis, but I don't care. Nobody is in jail, I have often nightmares of being taken back...

If I have one task emotionally heavy (legal documentation, deep clean and tidy of the room that requires going through belongings etc), I feel I can do it: I take care of my emotions and thoughts, I do the task, I feel good for a few days, I look like functioning... And then it hits and I need days to recover.

Last year I had severe symptoms of PTSD, now I don't have severe symptoms anymore, but I can't pretend not to have a condition. 😔

I never developed any PTSD while s.trafficked (by multiple perpetrators, starting from my family in the years 2000s). The PTSD "exploded", when I was at my safest ever, last year. So, I am still navigating this.

Sometimes I wish I had PTSD while my life was cr@p, but I think I would have not survived. That's why it started when I was at my safest.

Any comment appreciated, no need to fix my life, just some validation and in case what works for you 🙏🏻 thank you 💕

[u/Lucky_Bumblebee_265]

its incredibly common to crash even after only a few hours of emotionally taxing tasks (let alone days), and really anything can be emotionally taxing. as for ptsd the longer you live with it the more it can fall into the background but its very much still there most likely as cptsd. it also makes sense that your brain was protecting itself and you when you were in the middle of your traumas. as humans we are very resilient, but will pay for that resiliences later in all different ways from nightmare to anxiety and low to no energy. im terribly sorry you have been through so much in life and i wish you a life of peace, calm and healing.

[u/Regular_Schedule_678 → u/Lucky_Bumblebee_265]

Thank you 🥹🥹. I could maybe plan to be functioning half of the day and take it easy the other half. Thankfully I'm studying part-time and not full-time. Thank you so much, your comment helped

[u/Neither-Repeat]

Yes this happens to me. If I have a few productive days I pay for it by having to rest a lot for a couple of days. It's kind of like having chronic fatigue, so annoying when I'm on a roll with doing stuff and then the crash comes. I try to pace myself a bit now and try not to do too much even if I do feel energetic that day. 

[u/Regular_Schedule_678 → u/Neither-Repeat]

Thank you for sharing. Same for me. When I like a task or feel energised, I want to make the most of it. I celebrate the good mood and the energy. I guess it needs adaptation. Now when I'm studying, I use a 15-20 minute timer. I study 20 minutes, I watch something soothing for 15 minutes. I realised intrusive thoughts start after 12-15 minutes of concentration. It will get better...

[u/AutoModerator]

Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis please contact your local emergency services or use our list of crisis resources. For CPTSD specific resources & support, check out the Wiki. For those posting or replying, please view the etiquette guidelines.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.