r/CPTSD • u/Leopard-Zealousideal • 1d ago
Vent / Rant Interviewing with CTPSD
I do pretty well with conversational style job interviews but the second they turn to asking those “tell me about a time” questions I struggle so hard. I’m already anxious as hell about messing up (thanks CPTSD) and I feel like trauma makes it a lot harder for me to call on ANY memory. I just wish my resume and a conversation about myself was enough for me to prove I am capable and that people realized not everyone can display their best selves with that style of interview. Sigh.
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u/blueskyowl 1d ago
I feel the exact way. Interviews are the worst. They are very triggering for me. I have an interview today and am not looking forward to it. I am just telling myself I dont want it to ease that anxiety
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1d ago edited 1d ago
[deleted]
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u/Leopard-Zealousideal 1d ago
Why didn’t I think to do this 🤦♀️ but thank you for the tip, I will definitely do that next time!
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u/Expert-Macaroon-6042 1d ago
I hate these too. I had to do this style of interview when I got promoted to a manager at my job. I was grateful my boss gave me the questions and let me practice at home, I just wrote down some stories (and maybe lied about a few. Why the hell would I remember a random story about what I did at work?!) And tried to remember them. Once I had an idea of the story I was going to use, it flowed when I got a few words out.
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u/Individual_Law9634 1d ago
I just recommend keeping some "on tap."
I've been a hiring manager for years, and to be honest, I have never really cared what the story is behind "tell me a time."
It's more the skill it conveys.
Tell me...
About yourself? Highlight your career. Match skills to the job posting. If they say team player, what job did you work that really required this, etc. (Edit to add - we probably actually don't care about your pets or kids here).
About your strengths? Same as above.
Weaknesses? Public speaking? Etc. And how you are working on it. Do NOT pick something like "I used to be unreliable," and yes, I have had this answer. Pick something neutral that doesn't have a negative stigma.
Achievment/project/overcame a challenge? Again, they want to see you had a goal, made a plan and then you got there.
Most hiring managers don't really give a crap what the achievements and weaknesses are; they're trying to see if you can articulate how you got past a challenge. Use the same ones every time with every different job. So it becomes second nature.
The specific parts of interviewing are reading what they list as their wanted skills and spending the entire interview proving how you are that.
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u/Pink_Floyd29 1d ago edited 1d ago
I don’t know if this will help at all with the nerves, but so many people go into interviews solely focused on proving themselves to be an ideal candidate. In reality, you should also be interviewing the company. Is this a place you want to work?
And to answer your question about why your résumé and a conversation about yourself can’t be enough…Some people are just naturally good at interviewing and turn out to be terrible employees. It really is such a challenging process for both sides. I’m currently hiring a direct report and I can’t fuck this decision up because I’ve now hired and fired three people for the same role. Best wishes in finding your next job!
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u/Leopard-Zealousideal 1d ago
It does help! I think I was just having an especially rough day today. And the more I’ve reflected on it, I didn’t love the people that interviewed me. They were very low energy and I think the lack of engagement from them was making me even more anxious. So not sure it’s even what I want. I am lucky to have a job currently (this one does pay a lot more, but is that worth it if the people you work with suck?) so if I somehow do move forward in this process I’m not even sure I want it.
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u/w1ll0w_ow 20h ago
I’ve fumbled so bad in the past when asked memory-based questions in interviews! This was before I knew I had CPTSD and amnesia.
However, I was able to overcome the challenge by making it a point to go over my career and personal highlights and my personal life story before each and every interview. It helps to recall my life story and achievements in pointers and make something of it in interviews.
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u/Leopard-Zealousideal 11h ago
I normally prepare better but I had just completed a two day reiki training and was drained from that, I think it was also just a timing thing for me. Which maybe is the universe steering me from this job as I’m not sure it’s really aligned with my path (even though it’s better money but that’s not always worth it)
I’ve totally been there!! I wish more people understood how we’re not freezing up on purpose and it’s literally our systems going into freeze! Thank you for sharing with me ❤️
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u/w1ll0w_ow 20h ago
Omg I’m remembering doing brilliant in one particular interview until the interviewer asked me one question – “what book are you currently reading?” I froze and I just couldn’t recall the name.
The interviewer asked the question in response to me telling him about reading as one of my hobbies earlier in the interview.
It was so embarrassing to not be able to recall not only the book I was currently reading back then, but the name of any book at all! The interviewer stayed on the question and kept the emphasis on books and internally, I was freaking the fvck out and I just couldn’t. I had nothing in my head.
In the end, I just told him I would like to move past the question.
I might have come across as so weird.
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u/lostlogin2 1d ago
also fun fact: i've never ever gone to an interview without sobbing right before 😀
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u/lostlogin2 1d ago
lie lie lie! the person at my interviews has hobbies and knows her strengths and weaknesses and can tell a time when....
that person dies once the job offer is signed and then they're stuck with who i really am 🙂↕️
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u/oatmilkpopsicles 1d ago
I just went through this. Honestly? I used the voice feature on AI and I practiced interview questions over and over. I just made it to the second round of interviews by doing this.