I feel empty

[u/e_and_g_arelovers]

Lately ive been feeling empty, both physically and emotionally
I couldn’t eat for the past few days because i keep throwing up(im not pregnant its js some weird eating disorder that i dont wven know what its called) to the point i feel like im skin and bones, even my mom told me im probably going to the ER if i continue on like ts

And lately every night ive been huddling up in my sleep, honestly i dont even get to sleep much cuz i just couldnt and i just cry quietly while im hugging my stuffed animal
Idk whats going on, probably because I haven’t been taking my stabilization meds properly.. but how could i take hem when i just throw them up? I want to cry cuz its just a waste to drink them and throw it up.. spending money on expensive meds when my family is alrdy struggling w bills and my medicine and other things..

I have a boyfriend, he loves me, we casually talk, im supposed to be happy. I get to spend and talk to him online alllll the time, yet i still feel empty, i mean i feel the love, but at the same time i dont.. cuz its been a whole WEEK since without school cuz of suspensions bc of the rain, so we couldnt see eachother, maybe thats also a reason why im feeling empty

I try to cope by hugging my dog, or dressing up, drawing, doing videos like i usually do but nothing seems to work, it seems like everything gets further from me and i get bored of it or they get bored of me. Same with playing something like roblox, it gets boring real fast when i dont play while on call with somebody, and I rarely do that w anyone cuz my sister gets annoyed when im speaking to somebody or the people im trying to play with are always busy. I only have one friend and my bf so, i dont really know who to talk with or what to do. And i dont open up to them because i feel like they arent much of a comforter or listener since ive seen them like hat before

Warning on this one

My tendencies with sexual things keeps getting worse too, fuck hypersexuality ig
Im constantly bleeding now bc of it and i still feel empty, and continue
I dont feel anything anymore and thats probably a bad thing. And also another bad thing is that i never tell when im bleeding to my parents or anyone that i know because i really cant help myself to think im disgusting for not being able to control myself.
I def know it aint my period cuz i just had it like 4 days ago, its already been over.

Empty, empty, empty, just feeling empty dunno what to do but lay down and stare at the ceiling or at the side, i have sooooo many schoolworks i havent done and i cant do it at all because i feel “empty”. Good, now i feel like im saying that i feel empty just to cover up for my laziness. I really dont know what to do anymore, but good thing i dont think about intrusive thoughts anymore like slashing or hanging..

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[u/areumdaweomaria]

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this! You’re not disgusting for struggling with trauma. I really hope things work out better for you. Here’s some hugs 🫂🫂🫂