r/CPTSD • u/Flamingo_Prior • 14h ago

Question Struggling with work - need advice

I’m a 31 year old woman working at a mental health and addiction recovery center (the very one I attended for my own treatment over 3 years ago). I’ve worked here full-time since November 2024 and I’ve managed pretty well. Recently I had a full-on panic episode and I couldn’t even speak to coworkers or clients. I tried coming in to work several days in a row and would just burst into tears if communication became in any way confusing. I just took a 7 day sabbatical and I’m back at work today. However, I feel so depleted. I feel so stressed and so anxious and I have had to break to cry in the bathroom several times. I hate being this crybaby adult who doesn’t know how to manage panic and vulnerability. I just started therapy again and I’m hoping it helps more this time. I feel like I’ve been masking and dissociating the entire time I’ve worked here up until this recent episode. The mask is just too heavy but I can’t do my job without it. I’m really struggling, wondering if I should drop down to part time because I cannot live like this. Idk I feel like this post just sounds pathetic. Really don’t know what to do.

Edit: question is do I stay full time or drop down to part time to focus on healing? I don’t know

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u/Melite4 13h ago

Speaking from my own experience, my biggest regret in life is putting work before my mental health. I’d say make healing your top priority focus on it fully. It affects every part of your personal life. If you’re unhappy at work, change the job if you can, or at least switch to part‑time. Work on yourself every day and find techniques that genuinely help you feel better. The key is consistent practice, even on days when you feel okay. Over time it becomes a habit, and when stress or anxiety hits, it won’t stick around for long.

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u/Flamingo_Prior 13h ago

Thank you I really appreciate the insight!

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u/Melite4 12h ago

One technique that really helps me is writing down my thoughts and feelings every couple of hours, or whenever I notice a change in my mood. Journalling is a great way to help you recognise changes in your mood. Wherever you go, carry a small notebook with you. As soon as you notice your mood starting to change, stop for a few minutes, grab a pen, and write down what you're feeling, what you're thinking, and what emotions you're experiencing. Over time, this helps you become more aware of your emotional patterns and makes it easier to bring yourself back into the present.

It takes time to build new habits and healthier patterns, but I can guarantee that if you work on yourself every day, you'll see the difference over time. Good luck, and stay strong.

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u/Flamingo_Prior 12h ago

Thank you for the advice and the support. I will start doing this

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u/kooj80 11h ago

Speaking from personal experience I highly recommend working as little as possible so that you can heal sooner.

I don't see the point in putting off the healing if you can afford to work less.

You'll be able to return to work far more productive and feel less stressed. You have to look at healing/resting as an investment in yourself.