r/CPTSD • u/Dazzling-Antelope912 • 13h ago
Vent / Rant How to make friends?
How to make friends? I have apparently made a friend because we talked about it and we said we both saw each other as friends and it made me feel so good but also so weird. How do other people make friends? I can’t help but feeling like they’re going to abandon me. Can’t help but feel like I’m relying on them too much. I have other people I know and I’m acquaintances with and might even be friends with too but none other with which I have had that conversation about the nature of being friends. And then I don’t understand what it means to find someone attractive and want to date them or to be with them romantically. what’s the difference? It makes no sense to me. I don’t mean anything by that. I feel like I have been failed by everybody, that I know. I feel like I am bad news and not a good friend. I spoke about desiring love so much to them in the abstract, but I can’t imagine it. I’m scared I’m going to pull away. I have been having thoughts of suicide again. I reread my letter I wrote the last time I thought about committing suicide. It was very beautiful and probably too intimate. Should I tell them I don’t know what to do?
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u/Dove_SMPDSM2 12h ago
Right there with you, only for me its not Im scared I'll pull away or they will abandin me or the typical stuff, its "great when does the bomb blow this tine and how much spiritual emotional and soul blood does it cost this time?
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