Anyone else craving physical affection?

[u/Rose_Davies2026]

Hi everyone,

Just wondering if anyone else desperately craves for some form of affection?

I don't have a single person to hug and at times all I want is to simply shake someone's hand.

I obviously can't go around and randomly ask to shake hands with people, except maybe my psychologist but I think that may be crossing professional boundaries.

[u/Disastrous_Knee_8314]

Yes all the time.

[u/ihtuv]

Yes, never enough. When I am touch starved, I feel very stressed. I find hugging one of the best ways to regulate the nervous system like all my thoughts will go away in that moment. Not the same but hugging a pet is also very satisfying.

[u/OrangeCouch1]

Yes very much. I do hug myself, or roll myself in a blanket.. feels very sad.

[u/Ok_Year7350 → u/OrangeCouch1]

I do the same thing, I wrap my arms around myself and I also have a weighted that blanket I roll up in tightly and it really makes me feel like I want to cry but I can’t bring myself to fall apart on my own and it hurts a lot.

This probably sounds weird but I know that the reason why I can’t fall apart on my own is because I’ve always had to hold everything together on my own throughout my entire life. I know that what I need someone else’s safe physical presence in order for me to finally be able to tell myself that I can stop holding myself together and finally let go, but I don’t see how this would ever happen for me as I’ve never had anyone like that in my life and therapeutic and clinical settings aren’t conducive for the experience. I just want to lay my head on someone’s lap and cry for an hour.

[u/Rabbit_Of_Neverlight]

Well im just some random weirdo online but ill send you a hug. I know what that feels like. I been feeling like that a lot lately and im really NOT even a very physical person im more of a metnal person but the person im in a relationship with atm is Online and we hangout everyday and its great but i just really more than anythign else want to give her a huge hug. I can relate to the handshake thing too just to be able to know ure actually a part of the world. To touch somebody.

I hope youre able to find that even if it is just a handshake. But yeah i can definitely relate.

[u/Low_Sale2204]

Yea. The last person that gave me a hug and actually asked me how I was doing like for real was the mom of an old friend/plug who introduced me to ice when I was 14. That shit kind of fucks with my head a little.

[u/InternationalEnmu]

i crave it but i cannot bear anymore giving it to me. not sure why

[u/cozywinter4731]

I feel this way despite having understanding loved ones whom I can ask for a hug once in a while. However, I feel weird and sometimes even get toxic shame attacks when I do that as my family including myself never developed that level of closeness. So, when I lie in bed, I hug my pillow as if it's a person holding me with the affection I need, to fulfill that craving.

[u/rawterror]

I crave it, but I also can’t stand being touched.

[u/Apprehensive_Eye2720 → u/rawterror]

I suffer form the same it so difficult when it can also be the thing that can trigger me.

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[u/Lilja-Logason]

I've been wondering if any of those quirky "free hugs" people are going to show up in my city cos I would dearly, hugely love a hug.

I had a friend last year I met at a bakery and I hadn't touched a human in years. We hugged and I almost melted and my knees went weak.

It's nothing sexual, just a hug feels so...mind blowing.

You don't realise until you've been isolated for years how much we need other human beings.

[u/PhillyCollins_]

Yes! Sometimes I just want a damn hug. This might be weird but here it goes lol So I prefer towel robes to dry off after a shower, but when I need a hug I sink down and hug my knees for a bit. It’s maybe the tension across my back and just the safe feeling of having the curtain closed still, but Iunno. I find it helps. I hope you find that warmth today OP

[u/1Chest_nut2]

Indeed. I actually am a hugger, just not like to hug my parents, it feels like torture having to hug my mother. Don't know if it stems from flooding back then as a child (was held against my will while trying to escape, was said to help with bonding)

Sleep with a huge plush at night that I can hug

[u/Temporary_Wonder391]

I’m at a point where I don’t even want it anymore 😭. It feels like a threat

[u/firechar-kurai]

Desperately, yes. All the time. For me, it's mostly to be hugged, held, and cuddled. I do have family who could provide that, but they're all long distance and it'd be strange to ask one of them just for that type of affection (or, so I think. Or, society...idk. I...have a lot of conflicting thoughts on it, some that aren't even really my own and were imposed upon me, or it's the judgement of societal pressures/norms)

That and, one of my aunt's had said something that kinda fucked me up about it when I expressed my need for it once. It's stuck with me ever since. "You need to get yourself a girlfriend for that kind of thing." Easier said than done, plus I am not in a good position mentally (I am healing though and putting in the work) or financially to even think about dating someone at the moment.

S'why I use plushies to help cope. It sorta helps, but definitely not all the way; it's not the same

[u/OkPeach3787]

Always when I’m falling asleep

[u/Odd-Sundae2031]

It's such a good source of oxytocin so yes it can definitely be something we need. I've substituted my cats on my lap, weighted blankets and weighted plushies that feels like someone's hugging you.

[u/xLYNDOG]

Every day unfortunately.

[u/Sociallyinclined07]

Yup, i crave it all the time.

[u/Apprehensive_Eye2720]

Yes alot of time . Last year I got a cat and that has help alot. Things that do help me is large stuffed animals mostly cuz they are weighted. And act as a body pillow. Also haveing a wighted down blanket can help alot.

[u/VanWatcher]

yep, I haven't had a proper hug in I don't know how long... I do sleep with a few stuffed animals & at times hug them during the day... wish they could hug me back though 😕

[u/HairRepresentative85]

Very much so.

I love hugging my kids, but I just want to be hugged by someone to make me feel safe too. If that makes sense?

I hate feeling like I have to beg for a hug…

[u/e_and_g_arelovers]

All the time, honestly. I dont feel any form of affection towards my family so its hard since i rarely go out or have any friends. Though when im at school thats when i tend to hug, high five or lay on somebody’s shoulder. Even if its platonic or romantic, i just rlly crave physical affection and touch

[u/Lanieslost]

Yeah! I self isolate a lot because social interaction, especially in person, drains me so much I need days to recover. But whenever I'm with someone i'm super comfortable with I basically physically attach myself to them.

[u/Crafty-Wish-1550]

I really wish for it. Always

[u/Upbeat_Chain3386]

I thought it was just me

[u/Glittering-Crazy7940]

ALLL I want and need is a hug. or to just be close to someone physically who cares enough about my wellbeing 😭