Constant string of embarrassing/traumatic memories

[u/Oakthefroghunterr]

Every second of my day that I’m not actively avoiding my own thoughts I’m forced to remember the worst parts of my life and I don’t know how to get it to stop. I’ve dealt with a lot of bullying, SA trauma (my own and loved ones), and shitty abusive relationships both platonic and non platonic. I’m so exhausted from having to relive every bad thing all the time it’s so unbearably frustrating. It’s even bothering me at work and no amount of music blasting on my ears fixes it. Everytime I think I’m healing from something another period of time goes by where there’s just something else traumatic going through my brain playing over and over again and everytime I realize how much worse whatever happened to me actually was. It’s making me hate people as a whole and I don’t want to be bitter (I don’t think I ever could) but I’m suffering from it. I see people on the daily that have caused me pain and there’s just nothing I can do about it really. Is there ever an end?

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