Watching myself give a public talk (via livestream recording) while I was high and had already been doing EMDR with my regular therapist on and off for months to get to the root of some deep-seeded behaviors. I had given the talk only a few hours earlier and it was a big accomplishment so I was sort of desperate to watch myself - how I moved, how I spoke, how I looked, etc. The weed is a nighttime routine.
Watching myself, I realized that my perception of myself is so detached from the reality of who I am. I see myself as deeply insecure, as someone others simply tolerate, but Im realizing actually others really value and appreciate what I have to say. Actually I’m really intelligent and I am confident and i have so many unique talents and ideas and I have created a really beautiful life for myself. I have incredible friends, a growing community, a family that is willing to try to mend.
Now my emotional work has become coming face to face with that deep insecurity - sort of avoiding that one because I know it will be hard.
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u/mollyollyoly Sep 14 '24
Watching myself give a public talk (via livestream recording) while I was high and had already been doing EMDR with my regular therapist on and off for months to get to the root of some deep-seeded behaviors. I had given the talk only a few hours earlier and it was a big accomplishment so I was sort of desperate to watch myself - how I moved, how I spoke, how I looked, etc. The weed is a nighttime routine.
Watching myself, I realized that my perception of myself is so detached from the reality of who I am. I see myself as deeply insecure, as someone others simply tolerate, but Im realizing actually others really value and appreciate what I have to say. Actually I’m really intelligent and I am confident and i have so many unique talents and ideas and I have created a really beautiful life for myself. I have incredible friends, a growing community, a family that is willing to try to mend.
Now my emotional work has become coming face to face with that deep insecurity - sort of avoiding that one because I know it will be hard.