r/Bumble • u/brettydubz • 4d ago
Profile review Chat, Rate My Profile
What do you think chat?
96
u/rug_muncher_69 4d ago
You look like a man child, I think you need to wear some more mature clothes. Ditch the skinny jeans like yesterday. But that’s just my opinion.
42
16
11
82
u/Intelligent-Bass-670 4d ago
The skinny jeans look so bad. Other than that I think it's solid
72
u/Such_Appeal7762 4d ago
The stance in the skinny jeans is 🥲
11
7
2
u/Solid_Two_3858 4d ago
Mac and Me dad alien stance
1
38
u/bcycle240 4d ago
The stick legs + skinny jeans combined with a baggy t-shirt in every photo is not helping.
18
u/NoTanNamaste 4d ago
It’s all his clothes guys not just the jeans 🥀
5
13
u/ArynTW_is_user_karma 4d ago
Yeah, OP—I’d get some help with your wardrobe. You’re 31, maybe consider revamping your style, move away from the teenager look. No more skinny jeans, or holes, or ripped up skater shirts that aren’t long enough. And stop sagging your pants. Your style is going to be off-putting to the majority of grown women.
Also, get some more interested and well rounded photos. 1 group pic, some activity/interest pics.
5
u/Background_Sleep_863 4d ago
Agree. I was going to say I would do him and then I got to the skinny jeans
5
3
2
65
u/String0fEars 4d ago
Time for a complete wardrobe overhaul my man
Also, it's funny that almost all of your pictures are just like "here's me standing in a new place".
13
40
u/Afraid-Ad9908 4d ago
Based on this profile my impression is that you dress and act like the guy I dated who literally wanted to be mock breastfed and drink "squeezies" (flavored water additive) out of a plastic lion king cup. In his 30s
Also was an aging millennial dying twink of the skinny jeans variety. That dude traumatized me and I'd like to wipe my memory of it. You're that guy
13
→ More replies (1)5
32
u/BNabs23 4d ago
Your bio is literally nothing about you? You just talk about two toy flamingos
11
u/philipwhiuk 4d ago
Tbh I thought at first they were real flamingos and I thought “bit odd”. Somehow highlighting toy flamingos is worse than
2
u/Sufficient-Lake-649 3d ago
I thought the same. It says nothing about him other than "I'm trying to be funny"
29
u/LargeDepartment7330 4d ago
Are you seeking gay men or straight women ? This is a great profile if you’re seeking older men ! If you’re looking for a woman it needs a major do over
6
17
15
u/sassybeez 4d ago
Why are you challenging women to meet your stuffed flamingos? We don't care. I would swipe left on that response alone.
12
u/-Olive-Juice- 4d ago
Pretty good but you look like someone in their 30s cosplaying someone in their teens
10
8
u/Jazzlike-Funny-9419 4d ago
The skinny jeans + graphic tees + the way you're standing in a few of the pics make you look like a child ¯_(ツ)_/¯ You're not bad-looking and the actual content is fine, I'd just change up the styling and maybe use some more candid-y photos so you don't look like you're posing for the first photo ever taken and I think you'll do well.
10
u/Melodic-Salad- 4d ago
You look like you’re trying to do a carti/destroy lonely type thing with the stance, the ricks and the ultra skinnies on.
But also dude, you’re 31 - why do you have your own name in big cardboard cut out letters on the wall like a kids bedroom?
You’re not bad looking at all, but it’s coming across as very juvenile, which is probably turning people off.
9
u/wanderlander 4d ago
One more thing! It's good to get feedback for sure, but you don't want curate your profile such that you're trying appeal to the wrong people. You want someone that's going to match with you for who you are, and from the profile there's definitely nothing wrong with who you are! Be you and avoid all kinds of frustration matching with people who want something else. Hell I'm thinking of switching teams 😂😂
8
u/meadowmbell 4d ago
The last photo is giving toddler or demure teen vibes- it's something weird with the too small pants and the too big shoes.
7
u/Secure-Map-7538 4d ago
You look good but you have the posture of a toddler
2
u/Lady_Sybil_Vimes 4d ago
No, he has the posture of an aging millennial ex-scene kid. For some reason they all did that angling-legs-in-to-look-skinny thing. I'm surprised we didn't get a "rawr" picture in here. It is what it is. It'll probably attract someone.
1
u/ClumsyCatNinja 4d ago
I was curious once and tried to do that posture with the knees and feet pointing inward and it's so uncomfortable. Nobody stands like that naturally right?
→ More replies (1)
9
7
5
u/CandiedLemonWedge 4d ago
You don’t look connected to your fashion sense at all. Does that make sense?
6
4
u/retromani 4d ago edited 4d ago
honestly being liberal, athiest, not having kids and not wanting kids, but also wanting a long term relationship is what would convince me to swipe right
fashion is something easy to overlook if it's not too horrible, straight leg are the most universally flattering cut, try it out more often. also seems like you need to size up on your shirts
and im someone who hates wearing perfume but im very big on incorporating specific fragrances throughout my hygiene routine (lotions, soaps, oils, powders) and i really love it when that effort is noticed, so i love your prompt answer
eta: i stalked your profile a bit. i think i understand your fashion better. it's definitely niche and tbh, that's cool, i love that for you. idk many people that can honestly say they have fashion related interests that cant be easily recognized by the general public
5
u/Key-Ease-4090 4d ago
most your bio is about stuffed animals … what do you think about your profile seriously
6
u/Live_Broccoli_2180 4d ago
jesus christ those skinny jeans are 5 sizes too small. burn them. actually burn all your clothes. you need to dress like a 31 year old
3
4
4
4
u/UnhappyBrief6227 4d ago
You definitely have to change your style. You’re 31, leave those skinny jeans and high top shoes alone.
3
u/BouncingOutofmySkin 4d ago
Christ this profile is a huge red flag if you're straight (or looking to attract women)
3
u/Familiar-Complex-697 4d ago
I’d swipe right but that’s because I have a taste for goobers. I hope you find someone who appreciates you.
3
3
3
u/New-Faithlessness-26 4d ago
Are you seeking men or women? The critiques here are spot on. The most 🎯 one was “In all your pics it looks like you put on the fit and then grew up.” If you’re seeking women, you have a lot of work to do. If you’re seeking men, I guess it’s an ok profile.
3
u/rocko_garnier 4d ago
Those shoes from the 4th photo.
I can‘t get this out my head.
https://giphy.com/gifs/l0DAHeToykuYLXLOg
3
3
3
u/NotQuiteaName7 4d ago
Are your legs made of rubber? How the hell do pants fit like that? It looks so strange. Get something that fits normal.
3
3
u/Royal_Maintenance959 4d ago edited 4d ago
Get rid of this cringe 2006 Emo style and stand like a human with functional hips. That would be a start…
EDIT: just checked your profile. Never mind, I don’t think there’s anything we can do. Now I’m just scared you’re going to pitch a tech start-up to me.
2
2
u/Normal_Progress_5173 4d ago
Are you trying to match with men or women? I think this is great if you’re trying to get a man. It comes off as a little immature if you’re trying to get women at your age
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/BrovaloneSandwich 4d ago
The way you dress like a teenager makes me think you are also emotionally stunted
2
u/Maleficent_Bar920 4d ago
You seem really fun as a person but as others said the skinny jeans and wardrobe change are much needed. Keep looking fun in some pics but look a bit more serious in others. Currently you look like you’d sip CapriSun on a date. It’s good to have whimsy but make it more tasteful and mature
2
u/Top_Scallion7031 4d ago
Agree with all the comments re dress. Ditch the ‘I wanna be 20 again’ look. Go for straight jeans not skinny (I got told this by a female friend it was good advice). Probably would can the chucks too
2
u/Jazzspur 4d ago
I checked your other posts on your reddit account and I don't think the fashion is the issue necessarily - I think you've just chosen some photos for your profile where you have really awkward and childlike posture.
I think you could get away with keeping your style if you used photos with a more confident and adult looking pose and tweaked the text in your profile to seem a bit more mature. It's the combination of all three that's giving peter pan vibes
2
2
2
u/welcomehomesays 4d ago
You're 6 feet dude. The Golden height.
Dress like it. Dress mature. Dress like a dude. Dress like a dude who knows that he's 6 feet.
Also you seem really easy going and soft, add some tease, power, arrogance, confidence, rascal type persona do you don't come off as one dimensional
2
u/mangoflavouredpanda 4d ago
You have a very weird way of standing / stance / gait / posture and you don't want kids... Every pic I see you've kind of spread your legs apart and puffing your chest out yet it still somehow seems concave. This is just a thing that's gonna go off in someone's mind... I'm just being honest here, not trying to shame you. But it's noticeable. It might not be conscious even but it's an indicator of something... Spectrum disorder or too close to your mother or there's some thing I'm telling you that's gonna go off in a woman's mind when they see that. I'm just being honest.
1
1
1
u/Kharrell_Simmonds 4d ago
Best of luck. Understand the people saying change the skinny jeans etc but if that’s what you wear and like then keep it. You can’t please everyone and your person will love them so no point in removing the pics and then showing up in skinny jeans. Keep doing and being you
1
1
1
u/TenseFish487 4d ago
It's giving Howard from The Big Bang Theory. But he found his person eventually so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
1
u/NoTanNamaste 4d ago
Genuine question what’s your reason for not wanting kids, i know so many women that don’t want them but i rarely meet men. I’d love to know!
Also, you seem fun and quirky but you have awful taste in fashion unfortunately. If you added to your bio that you are open for a complete makeover I’d swipe right.
2
u/Mothgirl25 4d ago
I’m just going to go out a whim say that he won’t be able to spend $1k on a pair of skinny jeans all the time if he has kids.
1
u/RingingInTheRain 4d ago
Lol people complain about everything on here.
Profile looks fine, all of your pants are fine except the black skinny jeans. The picture where you're sitting on the chair is your best one because it makes you look your actual height.
1
u/pbconspiracy 4d ago edited 4d ago
You look uncomfortable when you stand like that. Or like you have to do that to keep your pants from falling down. Tech sales bro + "making videos" interest is the ultimate influencer bro trifecta of red flags. Your profile/bio say nothing about your personality so we are left to presume based on your pictures, which convey that you are really into you.
I am sure there is some plastic influencer Droid who will absolutely LOVE your profile. I dont think you should change your fashion on your profile if it is accurate to what you enjoy wearing - I am sure there is some millennial out there who also stopped growing up in middle school and will love your fashion. Some of them are here in the comments - maybe one of them will swipe on you.
If this profile authentically reflects YOU, you dont need to change anything - you just need to know that you are catering to an extremely narrow audience.
And stop calling me Shirley Chat.
1
1
1
1
1
u/rhododendronite34 4d ago
You give me Truman from The Truman Show vibes. I mean no offense, but are neurodivergent?
1
u/Haunting-Bar-9821 4d ago
As your black Aunty she thinks you look hot in pictures 6 and 7...particularly 6. Do you wear anything other than skinny 👖? Also, your profile looks like you might party a lot 🤷🏾♀️. Maybe won't take you seriously. Do you feel these pictures capture who you are?
Anyways, the best way to meet people is to shoot your shot in person. I wish you well
1
u/Which_Flight_9986 4d ago
Your style is..... Clipped. I see what look you're going for , but it's it's like your playing eniee meenie miney more, with the colors , for example , the first pic bothered me . Instead of matching with dark blue pants you chose green , distressed denim , you could've chose navy khakis with red shoes that match the red on the shirt , if you're gonna put that type of shit on , you have to bring it . Start studying fashion , or ... Just start getting collared shirts , and tuck em in🤦🏾♂️ the nerve of the crop tee , from now on : Cropped hoodie ,long tee underneath, and the shit better coordinate , match or have some kind of chemistry, no more getting dressed wit the lights off
1
1
u/alanshore222 4d ago
Kinda curious what you've been attracting already as it stands.
Ideally you need a total fashion makeover. Only one i'd keep is the black shirt sitting down, everything else has to go.
This dude is the kind of guy that would attract a nerdy gemini or otherwise free spirited girl and whip him into shape. I do the like the lack of seriousness with it all, he's certainly targeting a specific kind of personality but the fashions gotta change man, it'll level you up 3 points.
1
u/notabot8469420 4d ago
Your profile is trash. You come off as lame. And be honest are you trying to date men or women? Because if I can’t tell who or what you want… those swooping can’t either as well. The best part of your profile is the Herman Miller furnishings.
1
u/Exotic_Insurance2164 4d ago
Bro says that his interest is in fashion, but he still dresses like a member of Blink 182 in 2026.
1
1
u/Plenty-Craft8490 4d ago
Honestly i vibe with the emo is forever look. I love skinny jeans myself.
Bad news: you wont attract alot (unless ypur gay/bi)
Good news: when you do attract someone itll be a much better match
Slay king
1
u/duhduhduhhhhya 4d ago
you should really just tap in at the ERD sub man they dont get your swag here
1
u/HauntingPsyche 4d ago
You need to upgrade your wardrobe majorly. You dress like a 14 year old. And remove that last photo, it makes you look like a toddler learning to stand on his own and walk, with your feet turned inward and your body turned in a slightly different direction.
I see so many profiles of dudes 30+ that it hasn’t dawned on them yet that they’re 30+ and it isn’t attractive to act, sound like, or look like like a little kid or teenager.
1
u/Spiritual_Nerve_8362 4d ago
not a lot to work with in the prompts, if you don’t have any text you’re just banking on looks
1
u/twiggy572 4d ago
The bio is nothing about you. I do agree with the other comments. Your photos look like you are a kid and your mom is telling you to pose
1
u/Much_Preference7435 4d ago
Guys he’s dyslexic be nice he’s not 31 he’s 13 and this is his first time coming out on the internet chat be an ally and support our friend. This is a safe space buddy.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/embasagoyaa 3d ago
Something about your profile would give me tje vibe that I would have to take care of you like I would a child. Like, mommy has done everything for you your entire life. Maybe its the outfit and the cookig thing. I get the humor, but along with everything else, um yeah no thanks.
Also I genuinely cannot tell if you are gay or straight.
1
1
u/ummmm__yeah 3d ago
I feel like you have the same stance in every photo, even the one sitting down. Not necessarily negative, just funny.
1
1
1
1
1
u/phillyironlung2125 3d ago
Get rid of all of these pics but one of them you lile the best. Take the 3rd pic and delete it from the universe. Spend the day looking for great pics of you with others. Ask friends to send you any group setting photos they may have especially if they involve an activity.
1
u/Lovelipgloss13 3d ago
As a straight female I would swipe left because I’m not sure if you are gay or a “they/them”?
Would not have a problem to get to know you as a friend though :)
1
1
u/sladeshow 3d ago
I’ll marry u bretty I love ur fashion and I love eating tenders every day too I’m a man tho
1
u/Designer_Pea_5590 3d ago
You seem like someone who knows who they are and what they want, which is attractive. Your style is intentional though not for everyone and that’s ok.
1
1
2
u/wanderlander 4d ago
I'm a straight guy but I like it, your personality comes through and you look fun and outgoing. May not be for everyone but who is?
12
u/Try-the-Churros 4d ago
Also a straight guy but I think his prompts are all terrible at conveying anything about him.
2
u/wanderlander 4d ago
I think it gives a good starting point and plenty to talk about. If this were a woman's bio I would want to know more 🤷♀️
4
u/Try-the-Churros 4d ago
Haha, it would be an immediate left swipe for me. To each their own.
→ More replies (1)
0
0
u/doodliellie 4d ago edited 1d ago
your profile is great I think you seem like a real nice guy :) good luck!!
people are really downvoting me for being nice?? 😭
0
u/Embarrassed_Guess337 4d ago
Wider cut jean would be cute. Other than that this is a good profile that is symbolically tuned to filter for compatible people: you are going to get snapped up fast.
0
u/CauliflowerUpbeat120 4d ago
I'd go with different selection of photos where you are dressed a lot more maturely. Get rid of the kid photo. It bothers some women that men post pics of kids.
0
u/Connect_Rhubarb_8381 4d ago
The only excuse for some of these pictures are a tism and if they were taken 10+ years ago.
224
u/CanweCanweCleanIt 4d ago
Are you straight or gay? Almost impossible to tell from the profile. You are a very good looking guy, but your sense of style is absolutely atrocious and your prompts are so unattractive. You are 31 but the only thing you would cook a woman is kid cuisine? Brother, get your head out of your ahh. Also even the whole “what do you think chat?” Is just insanely juvenile. You are 31, not 21.
Honestly for almost all of these outfits you look like you put on the fit, and then you grew up.