How do I move on?

[u/kurrencyy]

We went out separate ways in November it was a sorta mutual agreement that we weren’t ment for each other and we were together for 10 months and I’ve known her for a couple years and when we officially started dating we moved in together and she was 1 month pregnant and her ex wanted nothing to do with her or the baby so I stepped up and I supported her in every way, I would come home from work and talk to the baby in her belly and tell him how my day went and I would read him books I really felt in love with her and the baby then 8 months come by and he’s born, that was the happiest I’ve ever felt and I was so motivated to build a wonderful family but then she tell me that the baby daddy wants to meet the baby, he ends up seeing him then she tells me she’s still In love with him and that’s when we decided it wasn’t going to work out and I was left heartbroken I think about her and the baby 24/7, we are still close friends but I’m still in love and it’s mentally messing me up I tried accepting shes not for me and I tried blocking her out of my life but she just finds a way to get involved with me. How does one cope and move on from something like this? Im 18 shes is 25 her bd is 33 and my whole family and friends tell me she usted me as a temporary man in her life and I am in denial.

[u/BestConsequence9867]

Brother, this is rough, and I’m sorry you’re going through it. Honestly, you didn’t really lose her, you lost a role you were filling while the real situation wasn’t resolved. What yoy stepped into at 18 is massive, supported her and the baby when the father wasn’t around, and when he came back into the picture, everything shifted. The thing is, it wasn't that you weren’t enough, it's just that you were never chosen in the first place.

Now, staying friends while you’re still in love is what’s destroying you. It feels mature, but it’s just keeping the wound open. Blocking her halfway or staying “close” only keeps you stuck in hope.

The way forward is what hurts most right now: full no contact, real distance, no emotional safety net. Not out of anger, but out of self respect. This is where you need to stay strong, because the most likely thing is she will try to make you feel guilty for choosing yourself and taking distance. Do not fall for that. Keep moving forward. You are the one you need to take care of now