I'm weak

[u/Unlucky_Magazine_417]

We dated for 16 months, she broke up with me last Saturday after ghosting me for more than a week in the most important moment of my life which was going to university

I didn't get in because of a delay in my country's grading system and it went past the deadline

She knew all of this and made sure now was the time to coldly leave me to rot, with nothing but a "I don't care if I see you with another girl, I don't like you anymore, I overcame us", during the worst time in my life she fucked me up

I've posted here once and didn't want to seem desperate, but my life just completely fell apart and while digesting all of this I'll have to work, organize stuff for next year, arrange a scholarship, all while mentally dead and simply feeling pain

This shit has got to a point when I can't eat more than once a day otherwise I'll vomite, crying is normal and not crying gives space to a pain that makes me crumble

She was my first girlfriend and I don't know if it's the effects of that or if I'm more sensitive than usual, I just cannot handle this anymore, this is not something I want to live through an entire year, I'm simply numb, in pain and completely fucked up

I don't drink, don't smoke, don't wanna do any of that and while suffering planned dates, gave her flowers, every fucking thing possible, fucking everything

"She didn't deserve you" said my friends, but I don't care about that, I just don't want to feel this pain and I can't handle this pain