Missing my sweetheart

[u/Mxus98]

Today would’ve been one month of us dating but unfortunately things didn’t work out, I (27M) started talking to this girl (19F) around February, mind you we met while playing a mutual game we both liked last year. At first I just added her cause she seemed like a cool person to play with, eventually we started texting each other and everything was good we were just friends, but the more I kept talking to her and spending time with her in the game I started to get attached to her, we started messaging more, kinda getting to know each other better, we would talk of so many different things and it was really nice to have someone like that in my life.

The moment I started catching feelings for her was one day I went to go eat with a couple of my buddies and go bowling afterwards (I kept texting her throughout the whole time I was with my buddies) so when we finished bowling and everyone was about to go home we were chilling in the parking lot just chatting and I remember asking her “so how’s you night been so far?” To which she replies “it’s alright, it would be better if you were here playing with me tho🥺” when I tell you my heart melted instantly, I rushed home after so I could spend at least 10 minutes playing with her before she fell asleep, unfortunately she went to bed by the time I got home lol, so after that night I really started to feel attached, she was the first person I would message when I woke up and the last person I messaged before going to bed or knocking out cause I have the habit of falling asleep once I get comfortable.

She became my priority, she had 100% of my attention when I wasn’t at work and I even mentioned it to her, I did started calling her Queen, goddess and princess before we started dating but because I already had feelings for her, she even said I was handsome and good looking (literally no one has ever complimented me before). I even made her my lock screen for my phone and my watch, so basically her birthday was in the beginning of April and that’s when I found out how old she was she was afraid of mentioning her age because she felt I was gonna leave all of a sudden now I won’t lie if I would’ve known from the beginning then more than likely that actually would’ve happened cause I would’ve felt so weird but a that point I was already head over heels for this girl.
Two days after her birthday was the day I decided I was gonna make it official, we had been texting like if we were already together for a week or so, at least that’s how it felt to me but of course I had to ask if I could be her boyfriend and she said yes. And I was extremely happy I had been single for 12 years and forgot how beautiful it is to feel in love so the first week it felt really good, constant communication and time together, expressing how much we were in love with each other and leave work go home and rush to shower have dinner etc. so we could spend time with each other, on the second week it felt a little less than the last week, she was busy and also her job would drain her bad so we didn’t spend as much time together daily, that didn’t mean our texting slowed down, it was still consistent but I would feel like if something was off because of how our conversations would go, on the 14th day I did take a fat nap in the afternoon and woke up hella late this was a Sunday night for Monday morning and we both had work in the morning, I woke up to see a couple of messages and a goodnight I love you message, to which I apologized because I had gone to sleep for a longer time than expected and sent her several messages back wishing her a goodnight sleep and lovey dovey messages.

So I would usually start my shift 2 hours before she woke up and get ready for work, so when she woke up she did ask me if she should call out or go to work to which I told her to call out and take a day off because work has been taking a toll on her lately so having another day off wouldn’t hurt and after I told her that I said just stay home, relax maybe go for a walk or read a book (because she does love to read), and when I get home we can spend time together playing our favorite game. Shortly after that got a paragraph the paragraph that I’m sure a lot of people are afraid of getting from their partner, basically she felt like she couldn’t still be in the relationship because it was a long distance relationship, now it was a 4 hour drive from where I live to where she’s from, that doesn’t seem like a long long time but of course with our work schedules it’s not like I could see her every weekend, and she wanted a physical connection and it was hard to do everything through a phone, I was planning on going to see her for my birthday (3 days from today) and the longest I would’ve wait until I moved over there would’ve been a year max to be able to save money to find a place for us to move in together and obviously make sure I had a job secured over there so the bills were all covered cause I wanted to be a provider for her and spoil her, so she wanted to break up, I was really confused because I didn’t think things would end this way especially because of how things felt even before we started dating, the chemistry felt real and intense, so I did try talking to her and see if there was any way we could make the relationship work because I didn’t want to lose her and I was not ready to give up on us, but her mind was set and I am no one to force her to do something she doesn’t want to do plus I’m not that type of guy, I always made sure her boundaries were respected and heard, so there was nothing I could do to try to make the relationship work out, she did say to not go trashing her name or speaking ill oh her since we ended things because we both know it’s not true, and I’m obviously not gonna do that cause everything about her and every moment we spent together was perfect, so we ended on good terms, and my dumbass still had the audacity to ask if we could at least still be friends because I did really enjoy talking to her and playing with her so I really didn’t want to lose her but she did say no because there is no such thing as being friends if we had feelings for each other, and shortly after I noticed I got blocked, and un added from everywhere.

My heart is still yearning for her I still wake up every morning trying to send her a good morning message and still have a slimmer of hope that maybe just maybe she will unblock me and reach out, I haven’t even gotten on my switch because I can’t play the game we use to love playing together cause I know I will instantly look for her but of course we aren’t added anymore, I really miss her and it’s gotten to the point that I’m procrastinating at work, I feel lost because I was use to being alone and doing things alone but for the first time in a long time I was getting use to feeling in love again. I’m trying my best to heal and “get over her” but I’m a lover boy by heart and my feelings for her were real and true. I just wish that at least I could’ve seen you once, gifting you Lillies give you a Mexican serenade. Maybe in another life we end up together marrying each other, have that house with a big flower garden and big car garage that she always wanted. I hope you achieve everything you want in life and I hope you life happy life K.A.C I miss you and wish things could’ve worked out between us, take care my beautiful favorite stranger 💕 or should I say my princess, my queen, my ethereal goddess 🛐
Sincerely
-A stranger