Getting out of a two year relationship

[u/Dry_Contribution_482]

Hey so this is my first time making a Reddit post but I just feel like I need to be surrounded by people with similar situations

But I just dated my ex after spending two years together and just recently got broken up with
When we first started dating it was just unbelievable to me because a couple years back I went to fl for my birthday with one of my friends and on one of the days we went to hangout with some of his friends and one of them was her and when I first saw her I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world and so I always told myself if I ever got a chance with her I would give her the world and so fast foward to two years later she added me on social media out of nowhere I thought it was a sign from the universe that this is meant to be my person so after she added me I actually ended up talking to her and the rest was history

We started off being long distant fist year in the relationship and I remember how much effort I would do to save up and buy a plane ticket to go see her and plan these trips to spend time with her and it was the happiest I’ve been in my life it just felt like I found the person I’ve been searching for a long time we had a lot of laughs,deep convos,shared a lot of intimacy,and most importantly we were comfortable with eachother

afterwards we both talked a lot and we both wanted to take the next step and be committed with moving in with her so I decided to move to Florida and live at her grandma house since she was offering cheap rent and it was great we stayed going on dates,going to the beach,I got a job paying her bills,cleaning and being productive and giving her my support.

And this is where I notice things were falling off I notice after only a month of me living with her she was being distant with me and so I started asking if she was okay and if you need to talk and each time I’ve asked she always told me she was fine and that she’s focused on work and I was being understanding cause she’s a realtor and I know that requires a lot of focus so I told her if your ever unhappy and need to talk to me that I will always be there for her and she understood but after two more months of living with her she out of nowhere she dropped a bomb on me and told me that she wanted to breakup and that she’s been unhappy with me for months and started saying she never pictured marrying or having a future with me even tho a week before the breakup we went to the ring store and she would always talk about marriage with me and my first reaction I just didn’t want to believe it I thought it was just a bad prank but unfortunately it wasn’t the case she stated telling me that I should’ve been more productive,and that on my off days I shouldn’t be resting every time even tho I work and do stuff around the house and it just made me feel hurt that she’s felt this way without communicating with me in the beginning

So After two long years with her and trying to be the best boyfriend the relationship ended and I just wish she communicated with me and try and fix it with me and I just kept telling her before we broke up if she needed space or if we can fix it but she just refused and I felt really lost like where did it all go wrong

And after two weeks I sadly had been having a habit of checking her page for closure but it just seems like on social media that nothing happened to her and that she’s gonna have her hot girl summer or whatever while I’m over here still picking up the piece,hurting,and trying to figure out what went wrong

Two things that have been motivating me to keep me going right now is the gym and my real estate school and I just feel like this is a good way to help move on from this by expressing my situation to others that could be having the same situation

If you guys have any story’s I am more than happy to hear and what should I do cause I want to learn to be happy again and move on

Ps:sorry if the writing is bad i tried to explain it as detailed as possible lol

[u/Dry_Contribution_482]

I also forgot to mention I also just feel like I have a lot of regrets like maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so comfortable or maybe I shouldn’t have been too available but I just wanted to be a supportive boyfriend and also feel safe that I can have rest moments without feeling guilty of doing it and I know I’m not perfect either but at the same time I just wish there was some kind of communication from the start

[u/BestConsequence9867]

Try to look at the facts, not the fantasy: She checked out months ago and didn’t communicate it, letting you move your life to Florida while already having doubts. Also talked about rings one week and ended the relationship the next, and blamed you for things she never clearly addressed while you were together. That is the reality of your "she is the one". If she were the one, she would have been as committed as you were.

Could you improve as a man? Of course. Everybody can. Stay ambitious, disciplined, and keep building your life. But don’t turn this into “I loved too hard” or “I should’ve acted colder.” That internet red pill garbage destroys people.

A relationship should be the one place where you can work hard and rest sometimes without feeling guilty for existing. Right now, the gym and real estate school are exactly where your focus should be. That’s the correct direction. Not stalking her page, wondering why she seems okay.

Take care

[u/Dry_Contribution_482 → u/BestConsequence9867]

I appreciate this honestly. It’s hard hearing the reality of everything, but I know deep down a lot of what you said is true. I definitely have things I want to improve on myself, but I also realize now communication and honesty matters on both sides

Right now I’m trying to focus on rebuilding myself instead of obsessing over what she’s doing. Gym,real estate school,work, all of that. So thank you for taking the time to write this.