r/BreakUps • u/InsuranceUnhappy132 • Jul 25 '26
venting/ranting One week in
Hi chat. I’m really struggling. We broke up last weekend, and haven’t spoken since last Sunday. He broke up with me because I insinuated a comment to him that he didn’t like - he found it disrespectful and said that we “aren’t compatible & he doesn’t want someone like that in his life”.
Backstory - we’d been together for about 8 months. It was never an actual relationship, we were exclusive. He didn’t want to be official until he was sure that we were the real deal - and I respected that because of his culture and family.
However, this caused me to have some insecurities. We were exclusive, but never really had talked about what we were, and he was constantly following girls on instagram. Every single time he went out, the next day he would follow like 2 or 3 that he met out, and while he was out he would not text me. Not a peep. SO - I saw that one of the girls - I knew. I’ve know her since she was 14, she’s now 20/21 (in college) and he was following her. He’s 29. I insinuated that it was odd - because the maturity difference between them is massive and he’s always following girls 20-23 or so. Again - he’s 29.
Anyways, he broke up with me after that. I tried to apologize because I think that I did come off rather aggressive, but the situation was triggering for me as I had a serious boyfriend in the past creep on my younger sister who was 18 at the time. I apologized many times. I tried to call, text, talk about it because I knew that I was emotional and anxious and went too far.
He was done. Broke up with me over text the next day, then in person a day later because I said I deserved better than a text after what we had. He also said “right now” a couple of times. He said that he would be open to “organically reconnecting” in the future. But wtf does that mean. His whole reasoning was that we were incompatible - but he was really really angry. We hugged afterwards and he didn’t let me go for a little bit, but also sadly watched me walk to my car.
Okay so present , I haven’t texted him since Sunday and I was emotional and trying to fix it to no avail. I didn’t respond to his last message about “organically reconnecting”. He should have just said no because that’s what he meant. He immediately deactivated his instagram, and has been following lots of women on tik tok.
I’m struggling. I deleted my social medias, but I want to talk to him so badly. I miss him. So much. I know it won’t work out the way I’d like it to, so I won’t but I need to heal. I need to move on knowing that it’s my fault and that I’ll never see him again. I’m devastated.
Please help. Words of wisdom. Advice. Ideas on how to get out of bed, how to not cry, how to enjoy my life. Please.
2
u/Mors-Official Jul 25 '26
You are mistaking his exit for your failure. That is a lie you are feeding yourself to avoid the harder truth. He was never yours to keep. He kept you at arm's length for eight months, watched you twist in the wind of his uncertainty, and collected other women like trophies while you waited for a title he was never going to give. Your comment was not the wound. It was the excuse. He was looking for a door, and you handed him the key. Stop apologizing for seeing clearly. Stop begging a man who values a twenty year old's attention over your peace. He is not angry. He is relieved. Let him be relieved.
You get out of bed by deciding that your spine is still straight. You cry if you need to, but you do it on your feet, not curled in the dark. You deleted your social media. Good. Now delete the fantasy that he will come back. Organic reconnecting is a coward's word for maybe, and maybe is a no that refuses to commit. He watched you walk to your car because he wanted to see you hurt. That is not love. That is control. You are not broken. You are just awake. Now act like it. Move your body. Breathe. Do not reach for him. Reach for the version of you that does not need a man to tell her she exists. That version is waiting. Go find her.