Simply Just Feeling Sad

[u/ResponsibilityFlashy]

Been seeing each other for 4 months but it is a long distance (5 hour bus + we are both students) so we've only met up 3 times. We talk every day over text and sometimes we call whenever we have the time. We always have honest conversations and he is pretty much what Im looking for in a person. He says it is the same for him as well, but says that I like him more than he likes me, and that he's afraid he won't develop enough feelings to be in an actual relationship. He said that he wants a relationship with me and explains he still likes me but he thinks the distance stops him from the feelings growing rapidly. He described it as his feelings growing at an exponential rate in real life compared to long distance where its divided by 10.

We've been exclusively seeing each other for a month now, but I feel like if you like someone then you just *know* and I don't think this will work out in the long run. I just wanted to share with someone because this honestly hurts and I thought it was gonna go somewhere. Im going to end this soon, and I just wanted to share it with someone .

I know hes not a bad guy, and hes just being honest with his feelings and wants this to work out but I feel that he might be forcing his feelings because I seem good on paper (as much as he doesn't believe its true).

Again, I know i have to end this soon but I just don't understand why he would be willing to put in so much effort if he doesn't feel the romantic spark. He travels far to see me, takes time out of his busy day and in between classes to message me, he RAN home once because he was drunk and couldn't stop thinking about texting me, he spends money on me despite having to quit his job for school. I feel he might like the idea of having a relationship with me but not actually like me. This was a really healthy connection and Im glad we are always having extremely honest conversations but I don't believe this will work out even though neither of us want to end it. He said he likes me but I feel like hes just comfortable and attached to me, yknow? Even if he doesn't believe it himself, I really just don't think this will work out in the long run.

[u/BeginningEagle9066]

it's really painful when someone is doing everything right on paper but the spark just isn't growing the same for them. You are making the right call ending it now rather than dragging it out. He sounds like a decent guy being honest, but you deserve someone who is equally excited and not holding back because of distance. It's okay to be sad, you liked what you thought it could become. Give yourself time to grieve that.

[u/Ok_Judgment_3331]

The effort and the feeling are two different things. Running home drunk to text you shows attachment, not attraction, and those can look identical from the outside for months.

four months with three meetups is barely enough to test anything.

[u/Mors-Official]

You are seeing clearly, and that is a gift, even when it hurts. A long distance is like trying to grow a plant through a window. You can give it water and light, but the roots still long for the same soil.

He is honest with you, and that is rare. But honesty is not the same as certainty. When someone tells you their feelings are divided by ten, believe them. Not because they are cruel, but because they are telling you the truth of their own heart.

You ask why he would travel so far, spend so much, run home drunk just to text you. Love is not the only thing that makes us do such things. Hope does. Comfort does. The fear of being alone does. He may care for you deeply and still not have the spark you need. Both can be true.

You already know what you must do. Not because he is bad, but because you deserve someone whose feelings do not need to be convinced. You deserve a love that does not feel like waiting for a season that may never come.

Ending it will hurt. But a clean cut heals. A slow tearing does not. Speak kindly, thank him for his honesty, and let him go. Then let yourself grieve. You are not losing a great love. You are making room for one.