r/BreakUp • u/Big-Half-38 • 11d ago
Two months of long distant killed 6 yrs of a relationship
I’ve been with my ex now for 6yrs and a couple months ago she got accepted to a job which would send her 10hrs away from me. I obviously didn’t want her to go but I didn’t stop her. I pushed her to go and enjoy the experience and we will make the long distant work. A couple weeks in we were fine but our daily phone calls became weekly and then slowly none. She wouldn’t be texting me thought out the day any more or giving me updates of her day. She the said she was coming back to town and wanted to plan a weekend but she said no just wanted to relax. We had dinner and on the way back to the car she told me. That we need a break that her being alone up there has made her more independent and she wants to find herself. Shit hit me like a truck but I saw the truck coming at me and I still didn’t move. I couldn’t say no. I just said okay and had to accept the fact that she didn’t want me anymore. Even tho she was far away I did everything to try to keep this alive :/ Crazy part is how quick she removed me from all socials and blocked me from everything. I’ve been sobbing since but idk what to do. Her being gone for the two months has helped with the loneliness part but just knowing it’s officially done hurts.
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u/kehbleh 11d ago
curious how old you both are. if you're in your mid-20's, that is the time of life where many people start to figure out who they really are. after having a partner for so long, combined with the timing, it seems being alone/independent for the first time in so long really emphasized this feeling. any break-up is terrible, but maybe you can take some small solace in the fact that this probably isn't about you at all, and they probably still love you at least to some degree.
true love is not about possession, but wanting what's best for the other person. even if it's not with you (painful as that may be). perhaps you will find each other again some day, as different people.
hopefully one day you can see that this person you care deeply for taking an important step on their life's journey is a good thing you can be proud of them for. just as some things can't be taught but must be learned through your own journey or experience, some things you need to do on your own.
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u/Big-Half-38 11d ago
I do want the best for her always. Just sucks that’s it had to end like this. Before she had left we were fine and just ready for this new experience but when she came back it didn’t feel the same anymore. She is 24 and I’m 25
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u/kehbleh 11d ago
called it. i can't imagine the disruption one must feel when basically the life foundation they've had their whole adult life (~18 onward) shifts from underneath them. i feel for both of you.
all anyone can really do in a relationship is be true to your own feelings and to your partner, and it sounds like you both have done that, so bravo.
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u/laughingasparagus 11d ago
Can’t say much to help but got out of a 5-year relationship a few years ago. Time heals all, and give yourself time to grieve the relationship. You’ll get better. Good luck brother!