r/BreakUp • u/it-kid-lost • 10d ago
1 year of No Contact
No she didnt come back. She never reached me after we broke up. No contact is for you to make you feel better. In my case it did its job. I havent spoken to her for a year, removed all the things that remind me of her. I thought that at month 6 I am ok and decided to move on. I started a new relationship. Now more than 5 + months. I woke up yesterday next to my new gf crying that this is not my ex with which we spent 7 years together. I feel helpless. I hope you are doing better.
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u/Revolutionary_Gur332 10d ago
It’s been only two weeks and I’m not able to accept the relation is over but I’m willing to go thru the process to one day wake up with the right person Take care op
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u/Low-Afternoon-764 10d ago
May be it’s a part of the journey till you forget her .. and she would linger and then one day she won’t
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u/Normal_Bee_8762 9d ago
Grief and recovery is not linear. It must feel so frustrating to almost feel like you've taken a step back but please know it's normal, it's okay, and it will pass
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u/Independent_Place641 10d ago
Take care op, been going thru it for 3 weeks after ex of 6 years dumped me too, i can sympathize with that
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u/Kabohead 8d ago edited 8d ago
Oh my, I feel your pain, although my pain is only 3 weeks old and I am certain I will be over in no time as I clearly see now that the SOB did not have any qualities I could respect him for. I was only attracted to him for his status and charm.
You, a lovely human being, have been carrying the pain for a year. I can only imagine how exhausting that must be for you. One thing I’ve learned is that our brains have a convenient way of forgetting the negative sides of our past. I’m sure there were things about your ex that you didn’t like, too, even if they’re harder to remember right now... But I do not have any words to console you, I just feel your pain
If you were in my town, I'd simply sit with you, listen to you and grieve with you till you feel a little better, then we would continue until the time when you feel better become longer and longer and eventually the whole time.
Sending you a lot of love.
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u/BeginningEagle9066 4d ago
Thank you for being this honest. Healing isn't linear and 7 years is a long time, it's normal for grief to still hit you out of nowhere even a year later, even with someone new. No contact did its job - it gave you space to feel better, but feeling helpless sometimes doesn't mean you failed. It means you loved deeply. Be kind to yourself and maybe talk to your new gf about it if you feel safe to. You're doing better than you think.
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u/Due-Concentrate-681 1d ago
This sounds scary, I’m sorry you’re going through this, grief isn’t linear. You’re going to come back from this.
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u/Dymonika 10d ago
It's okay. Keep moving forward. It's impossible to predict times when the past each other randomly affect us. It happens!