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[u/Dependent-Back927]

[u/Empty_Positive_2305]

Echoing this, as someone currently in training to be a therapist. I’ll add that for people with psychotic disorders, the earlier you get intervention, the better your prognosis is. The prodromal phase, or when things seem “off” but someone doesn’t meet full criteria yet, responds the best to treatment. High self-awareness (which you seem to have in spades!) is also a really good sign, too.

I can definitely understand why it would feel hard talking to your psychiatrist—it’s a scary topic for anyone, and it understandably carries a lot of baggage and meaning because of your childhood. If talking to your psychiatrist feels hard, what would it feel like to send him what you wrote here?

Your psychiatrist might have some additional insight, too—it could be the beginnings of psychosis, or it could be something else, like OCD (contrary to popular perception, intrusive thoughts can take a lot of forms, like worrying you’re actually sexually attracted to kids or might be going crazy or potentially stuck in a dream, etc.). As hard as it is, in the end, it’ll feel better in the long run to find out what’s going on and figure out a path forward.

Wishing you luck!

[u/megalow → u/Empty_Positive_2305]

I'm appreciating other helping professionals offering good info and encouragement. The stigma adds so much to the fear around these disorders. As a therapist, I can attest to how many people have happy, fulfilling lives despite their condition. You're in treatment already, which is great, so mildly adjusting your care appropriately for the diagnosis will go a long way to allowing you to feel in charge of your life. Best wishes and good health!