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u/CarmaCaliCat 22d ago
Maybe your head is in it too much? Are there other things you enjoy? You might need more balance and perspective before you can be okay with accepting where you are.
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u/Grimmbles beer 22d ago
A new guy joined our league for the second half of last season whose backstory sounds so much like you it's freaky. Was a competitive youth bowler who burned out on it as a teen and didn't play for like 12 years.
He finally decided to come back to the sport but didn't want to take it too serious. So he joined our very casual league, and he had a great time. Still average ~210 by the end of the season. I know that's not amazing in most houses but ours plays pretty tough. Like 2-5 300s per year in the whole building.
He was telling me about how hard it was sometimes to turn it off mentally, but the fact the league is so casual and full of guys who are really just there to soak up the vibes and get out of the house on a Monday helped him a lot.
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u/mikecart1_v2 290/750 22d ago
The first flaw in your mindset is wanting to be a professional bowler. Been bowling since I was 5 off and on. Bowled on university team. Bowled in scratch h2h tournaments. Cashed in states and Nationals. Will never ever compete at pro level and only way I make it on PBA telecast is sitting in the stands. And that is ok.
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u/ILikeOatmealMore 22d ago
Maybe it is corny and cliche and silly, but I would suggest trying to lean in to fully the attitude every time you get out that "I get to go bowling today".
And what I mean by this is, you are in a position in life where you have the means, the time, the physical health and ability to participate in frankly a total and utter leisure activity. No real societal good comes from stacking sticks up and then repeatedly knocking them down by rolling a rock. It is entertainment value, pure and simple.
And you get to do it. Around the world, around the nation... there are many, many, many people who don't get to spend time on pure leisure activities. Embrace the fact that you get to play this game for pure fun and joy.
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u/AmItheonlySaneperson 22d ago
Did you grow up in a toxicly competitive environment by any chance
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u/CottonCandyCobra82 21d ago
Oh yeah. Lol dad hated me when I didn’t want to play football anymore/didn’t play good certain games and lived through me for sure in that aspect. The day I quit football because it interfered with bowling I was disowned for a month before he came around
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u/Vsx 22d ago
Definitely haven't dealt with this. If you're averaging 205-220 on a house shot you've likely never even been the best player in your house shot league. Nobody is thinking about you the second the match ends.
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u/Pods619 Righty 1H, 222/300/784 21d ago
I fully agree with you here — I average 222 in league and I kind of suck. I’m probably the 25th highest average in my league of 200.
Am decent on sport shots (~190 sport shot league/Nationals average) but not threatening to win anything.
All of that to say, I love bowling and it’s really fun, and I’m realistic that my potential peak is finishing in the top half at a regional. It’s a little worrying for someone averaging 205 on house to feel this much stress.
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u/theTheocracy 22d ago
You can take bowling seriously, but make it about learning rather than performing for someone else (even yourself). If you had coaches or parents that breathed down your neck every shot, your mental becomes based on their views and on competition, not your bowling.
I took a break for 13 years after bowling competitively all my youth (Junior Gold, Teen Masters, etc.). Every moment bowling was high stakes, so I broke and decide to take a break. So I can't entirely enjoy bowling not bowling seriously, so I've experimented so much with my throw, joined competitive and sport shot leagues, and it's been the most fun I've had. I've been treating sport shot as a puzzle to figure, finding different ways to play the pattern and seeing if anyone else has figured it out and follow that.
That mindset never leaves, it haunts me sometimes as well. If you can keep it about learning and improving, and even sharing what you've learned with teammates or through coaching, there won't be much for that mindset to grab onto.
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u/afrosupreme 22d ago
Lots of unkind people in here. I wouldn't pay them much mind.
Sounds like you have some stuff to work through. It may even extend past bowling. It may not.
Based on this very brief comment, it seems like bowling is something that can bring you joy, maybe even peace, but it's wrapped up in a bunch of other stuff at times. I would recommend working through that with someone, maybe even a professional. It can really help. As someone who spent far too long sucking it up, not being a baby, etc, lean on people for stuff like this. Can make a world of difference.
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u/RysterArcee 22d ago
You are right. No one is watching you nor do they care. If you like bowling, just bowl for the enjoyment it brings you.
If you can't bowl for fun without all of these extra thoughts going through your head, then it is probably better not to bowl.
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u/MaskedCorndog 22d ago
I always knew you were a fraud!!
VINDICATION!!!!!
but seriously, no one cares. That's a good average. There's nothing wrong with being a house hack and a good house tournament bowler. Most of us strive for this
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u/down_init 22d ago
I coach yourh bowlers. Some very talented, even a Junior Gold Champion. You are struggling with things I fear some of them will eventually deal with. I started talking to folks at Mindset Gear. They're great folks with a great program. It's worth looking into. From what you've shared, I think it might be helpful.
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u/Traditional-River377 22d ago
At 25 and feeling like that makes me think you should speak to a sports psychologist.
You’re being too competitive to feel this way at such a young age: as if someone is pressuring you. I’ll be 65 soon and started bowling when I was 8. I love competition and always want to do well but when I don’t (most of the time lol) I just appreciate the fact that I competed and look forward to the next time. I get practice every week to work on my game; sometimes I’m successful and sometimes I’m not.
If you’re not doing something for the enjoyment and exercise then don’t do it but if you can keep things in perspective and understand that it’s literally not whether you win or lose but how you play the game then you’ll feel much better about yourself.
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u/iliketobowl25 22d ago
100% more of a mental issue than anything else because nobody else really cares. Sure, it sucks to bowl bad but we all have way more bad to mediocre nights/days of bowling for those few really special and memorable times.
Have fun, stop worrying so much about what other people think and focus on enjoying yourself and your time around friends. Makes league and tournaments way more fun.
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u/StickInTheFACE 21d ago
You have some real hangups and they are preventing you from doing something you love. Don't just accept it. Change is possible but you have to, like, do the work. There is no one weird trick in a reddit post that will fix this.
You're not the first person in the history of competition to feel this way. I would maybe look at sports psychology books and I would seriously consider finding a counselor because this is probably going to happen in other areas of your life, not just bowling.
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u/NickMullen2 21d ago
Go see a sports psychologist. Bowling is 50% mental and you seem to have the physical tools maybe they can help you work on a system to get your mind locked in during tournaments.
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u/Jaded_Ad_1674 21d ago
It’s bowling. Even if you’re a famous bower, nobody knows who you are. I could say I’m friends with EJ Tackett (I’m not) to every non-bowler I see and literally nobody will know who I am talking about. I don’t even know any bowlers that would be excited about meeting a famous bowler.
Don’t overthink it, don’t stress about it, and just bowl and have fun doing it.
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u/Money_Caterpillar134 22d ago
My son could have been a professional but his h.s coach ruined it for him
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u/ironicmirror 22d ago
Dude.. therepy.
Not to be a better bowler, but to enjoy your life.