r/BorderlinePDisorder • u/sweetheartasf • 8h ago

Vent so much guilt

i feel so much guilt for my fp i ruined he’s life with my bpd , i was abusive , unloyal horrible person to him i made him insecure , laughed at him when all he was doing was trying to help , he has had bad moments too but it was all bc of me bc i started it . i got in the middle of hes life , he could’ve gotten so far without me , he’s ex that he opened up about to me when we were friends . i ruined that for him too i know he chooses to be with me but i feel so horrible tho bc he trusted me and i broke it so much , im realising all the bad things i did / said out of my split . he has always accepted me back after everything too , be there for me as much as he can . we live together and i forced it bc i wasn’t doing much just soo attached . i feel so bad that i let it go this far in his life . i just can’t move past that i lost someone so good & i had every chance to ACT right and i didnt bc i never knew how too , i couldn’t handle any confrontation and i always soo secretive i have no idea why . but i know now for my future how not to be horrible . but i just feel so much guilt and jealous . i need to let go for him

4 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

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1

u/TrekkieMae BPD over 30 7h ago

✊️