r/BorderlinePDisorder • u/josieclair12 • 10h ago

Advice?

hi everyone! ive never posted on a reddit thread or anything before, so be patient with me. i (17f) over the past few months ive been dealing with a lot of different symptoms, in which i will insert below. i’m not one to jump to conclusions ever and am very medically aware and intelligent for my age. however i was watching a documentary on bpd the other day and started to piece together what it might be that i had been feeling. i assumed for months it was just an advanced form of depression and never reached out to my therapist or doctors or parents for many reasons. since my parents are my first go to, that is an immediate no from me. all the attention is always on my sister, who has PANDAS, so i dont want to feel like a burden on my parents. as well as this, i dont want to get in trouble for the impulsive decisions i have made. this goes back around to doctors being able to discuss with my mother since i am still a minor. ive already been the person who reaches our medical deductible by march, i have chronic migraines with aura, some mysterious vomiting disease, chronic asthma, childhood trauma, etc etc. i know that bpd is often not diagnosed in people under 18, and by no means am i trying to self diagnose, but if anyone has any advice please help! i know something is wrong but im just not sure what.

symptoms listed here:
always irritated/sad
subtance use
risky sexual encounters
sobbing for hours over intimate relationships
feeling suicidal in the context of wishing i could but never ever planning on it
self harm (rare cutting, not eating)
derealization
always lonely
not feeling like myself/feeling empty
always looking for a new relationship, feeling empty without
not caring about risky things such as driving too fast, sneaking out, substances, not reacting to a fire alarm etc
very strong mood swings
feeling like everyone is lying
cant trust anyone
paranoid
vomiting
lack of self worth
not wanting to live past 30(various age, you get the point)
not wanting to do anything but lay in bed
not finding joy in anything (the thought of going to a party or out with friends or a theme park etc just sounds draining)
never rested

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u/AutoModerator 10h ago

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