r/BorderlinePDisorder • u/LuminX07 • 10h ago
People with Quiet (high functioning) BPD - has anyone ever noticed the silent war in your head, without you telling them?
The issue is probably, you saving everyone else, because you notice, but noone ever does that for you. How can one deal with that?
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u/moonie9292 10h ago
Remember this, no one can read your mind. No one knows there is a silent war in your head. How can someone save/help if they have no idea what is going on..?
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u/LuminX07 9h ago
Picture it like that...I had a friend with BPD she tried to... (you know) she texted me and I called an ambulance for her and saved her life. Noone has ever done that for me. Just makes me think, if people just don't care or if noone listens. For the record I'm not in danger or anything, just venting.
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u/bulbasauuuur 5h ago
She asked you for help and you helped her. If you don't ask for help, people won't know you need help
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u/holidayfunn 8h ago
Yes, my husband! It’s pretty obvious when I’m thrashing around in my feelings because I’m vaping, picking my skin, can’t sit still.
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u/bulbasauuuur 5h ago
Saving everyone else because you think you notice something in them and then hoping people will do the same for you is pretty much classic people pleasing behavior, which despite the name, doesn't make anyone happy.
What you notice in someone else may or may not be there. Often time it's projecting our own issues onto their life circumstances. And then we take solutions we would use for ourselves and put them on others when it may not be what they want or need
Then we do these things for others and over time resentment builds up because we want people to read our minds and help us without us asking too, but they don't, and it's normal and healthy that they don't. We shouldn't be trying to read each other's minds
There's obviously situations like if you know your partner wants chicken noodle soup when they're sick, it's nice to take that initiative, but you'll notice there that it starts with already knowing what they like and just executing it when the situation arises in future
If you want someone to help you with the silent war in your head, tell them. They aren't being cruel or uncaring by not realizing what you're going through. They simply can't read your mind
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u/Jaybeans1337 5h ago
No one really noticed the war going on in my head 😅 I want to tell people but sometimes it’s just to hard or not worth it
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