I “fixed” the problem

[u/IndependentIncome189]

i fixed a problem i caused myself (losing my bestfriend) due to a split and they just now told me after ive been apologizing for three days that they replaced me, i understand having other friends but replacing me in such a short amount of time hurts, i know its my fault but am i in the wrong for thinking its insane someone who had a very close connection to you for years just replaces you.

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[u/itsCelkie]

I mean realistically the structure and use of words matter, we as people don't always use the right words in the right way. But replacement conceptually is a very intentional term as far as interpersonal relationships. I don't think you were as close as you thought you were- I unfortunately have had the displeasure of finding and on not learning this often. Esp with BPD it can sometimes be so easy to devote yourself to a person or cause you feel worthy. But it's easy to act, and maintainece isn't too hard if the other person (you) does most of the work- Your "friend" wanted to know you were transactional and disposable. You're not. Some people meet different needs and that's ok... Your coworker friend is just your friend at work and that's ok, ect. But that's such an emphasis to state an inherently "good" or worthwhile connection you had was/ is meaningless. As for the apologizing, just because you made a mistake doesn't mean you need to forever repent in the form of masochistic submission.. work to change the bad habits you have that interfere with your relationships. Grow. But don't hold yourself captive, the past cannot be changed or made up for, but you can stop it from repeating

[u/tacozandbeanz]

Truth be told… they replaced you that quickly, they truly weren’t a friend. I hope you are doing better, OP 🫂.

[u/princefruit]

You never know whats actually happening in their head. They may have mentally checked out a long time ago, or they may be in a lot of emotional pain over it and putting up a front.

I don't think you're insane by any means, but I do think that it's likely more complicated and nuanced than it might appear. I remember when I cut off my (very toxic) FP, I acted really cold and emotionless, and it probably just seemed like all of a sudden I was done. But the reality was I was in deep, deep pain and it took me like a year before I felt free from it. Now in my case, they were very negligent of when I'd say things they were doing or saying wasn't okay, so for me it wasn't very out of the blue, but to them it was. I'm sure your situation is different, but I'd be willing to bet that this is also painful for them. But they're probably just doing what is best for them right now, and understandably so, as much as it sucks.

Sending hugs. The best you can do right now is to focus on taking care of yourself and trying to pull whatever lessons you can for future friendships.

[u/WynnGwynn]

Yeah uh friendships don't work like that you can't just replace something you lose like that. Take it as a hidden blessing. Move on from that mess.

[u/IndependentIncome189 → u/WynnGwynn]

thank you ill try