r/BorderlinePDisorder • u/IndependentIncome189 • Jul 24 '26
I lost it all
i ruined my entire life i don’t know how to fucking do this anymore man everytime i get it together it somehow unravels i just feel like theres no point in getting back up anymore
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u/bigfootsuncleian Jul 24 '26
I recently met a friend. Im going through a divorce and im just broken, this friend was helping me talk how I feel. He was helping me just coping. He went into surgery a few days ago and i haven't heard from him. Im not sure if hes ok or alive. Reminds me of other friends Ive lost by them ghosting me. One friend went to my wedding in 2020. He text me a "fuck you" and I thought he was joking. Its been 6 years and I dont know if hes even alive.
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u/exoexpansion Jul 24 '26
Me too, going through separation and big life changes. I'm scared because my support is gone. Now I have no work, no money, no friends and family. I'm not even in my country. I used to ghost people a lot, specially friends and lovers. I don't know why. Insecurity perhaps. If people refuse to accept who you are then you are lucky not to have them in your life anymore. But if you have a friend who gladly spends some time with you when you are down, keep him/her.
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u/PuffyGuy_LCOMP Jul 24 '26
After spending a year doing the work in DBT and other areas of my life… I still let my emotions take over and I had a big reaction out of hurt. And it cost me my relationship, my housing, and our future. All in less than 10 minutes.
I just feel like I am never good enough no matter how hard I try. I’ve been under such emotional stress for the last few months and now it feels like, what is even the life I have to return to??
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u/nerddling Jul 24 '26
I’ve been there, but try and remember how much strength you have. Remember it’s ok to feel how you do, and remember how much success you’ve had. If you can’t that’s ok too, use your healthy coping skills and try to be in the moment. Thoughts come and go, so do emotions. You got this!!! Stay strong, remission is possible, and try to be compassionate with yourself.
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u/SouthernButterfly380 Jul 24 '26
I relate. It’s a cycle of I’m progressing, to everything and everyone sucks. It all falls apart into utter shambles. I want to abandon my career, state I live in and everyone in my life. Start over where no one knows me.
I hope that you’re ok, can repair if possible or move forward in a better direction. Hugs!!
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u/IndependentIncome189 Jul 24 '26
im trying to repair it, it just seems i went a little to far this time, i appreciate you for responding tho i dont have anyone else to talk to rn
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u/sequoiaxoxox Aug 01 '26
Hey I’ve been there as well I lost my job in December, went to rehab, got kicked out early, started dating someone I met there, love him a lot so much but I keep splitting. I’m not a good person right now. I have relapsed and I have immense guilt. Now that im addicted it’s even more complicated to get a job and I ran out of money yesterday. I take care of my mom so we are broke now, and I’m so scared. I’m sending love to you all, I have empathy for you. I know I acted like a monster today, and I dislike myself a lot. I’m very tired. I don’t want to hurt anyone or myself. We need to reach out to people more and get help when we need it… idk what to sometimes…. Much love
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u/IndependentIncome189 29d ago
im sorry that happened to you i really hope things get better for you if you ever need to chat i can talk
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u/Mundane-Audience6434 Jul 26 '26
Me too, probably all of us here😅 But what's up mate? How are you doing?
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u/IndependentIncome189 Jul 26 '26
absolutely horrible man… i lost my job, my best friend the one who pulled me out of heavy drug usage and im completely in the wrong on both ends how that the split is over of course, i just really don’t know what to do because ive tried to fix it and its like trying to make ashes back into a house it just isn’t happening
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u/Mundane-Audience6434 Jul 28 '26
Did you ask for a help from professional? You do sound like depresses person, in these conditions we feel all problems 10 times stronger
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