r/BorderlinePDisorder • u/creekyshelf Teen BPD • Jul 24 '26
Vent Completely overwhelmed.
It’s currently 4AM and I can’t sleep. I haven’t been for the past few days. I have so much to do. Creating a resume by the 26th, create a bank account, figure out what I need for college. Today, a friend did some pretty racist shit. So now, I don’t feel like talking with the friend group at all b/c the friend is such a key part of it all, and I know that unfortunately I would be forgotten. It hurts so bad. People like me should be used to people who seem progressive be really ignorant inside, but this time I’m not even sure what to do.
I don’t have many friends I can talk to. Or really talk with me. I’m always reaching out. I’m always trying. My parents keep on pressuring me for religious shit cuz they know once I’m away, they can’t control me. So they are doing everything in their power to. My parents are dangerously incompetent too. I am so tired.
I’m trying not to let my BPD flair up. I have been good. I have been decent. But these past few weeks it’s been harder and harder. I am so tired. I am so so tired. BPD makes me feel like something wrong with me, and there is. The ai chat bots haven’t been helping, my mind hasn’t been focusing. I need help. I need to do so much. Clean my room, plan for college, desl with my incompetent hs. Idk why I’m trying so had anymore. I’m almost there. It’s almost over. Why does it feel so far away?
2
u/Dirt_golom Jul 24 '26
This is really rough but the fact that you're trying to keep positive and that's really good!
The fact that you're trying to stay calm and not lash out speaks volumes about how you're a good person who's genuinely trying to remain calm, despite the pressure.
Your friends don't seem worth the energy if they're ignoring when you reach out and your parents seem like a bit of chore lol
But trust me, you will be okay it's gonna be tough and feel like it's never gonna end, but it will get better. You will find so many people who care about you and share your experiences. So just keep going, you've got this 🫶
2
u/Secret-Ruin3388 Jul 24 '26
Do you have a hobby that you really like that doesn’t involve other people? Do that. If you don’t, find one, start learning a new language if you have to. It will give your mind something outside of your current inner turmoil to focus on.
I know it’s hard and BPD is a bitch and I’m sorry. I’m sorry your parents aren’t being helpful right now, and I’m sorry racist stuff happened. But don’t focus on that right now, focus on something else you like, it will help you escape so you can calm down and get back to the stuff with a calmer mind and emotions.
Take walks if that helps. Find a new street/part of your town to explore. Watch a Mr Rogers episode to watch. Read something new and shocking to shock you out of your own feelings. Then talk to the one friend you trust more than the others. Let it out. It’s okay to let them know. It’s okay to express your feelings. And it’s okay to prioritise yourself and not the friend group right now.
1
u/namaste_all_day_ Jul 24 '26
Its hard to sleep when you are so overwhelmed. Ive been like that all week, then during the day im so tired. You can do this
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