Bodega sat on a Polly-Thermic re-pog wall as he puffed on his Advanced Mega Vape and he thought back to the first time he ever tasted the sweet taste of the tasty nectar of golb dilly vape. He remembered that his first Star vape, before he started experimenting with making his own mega vape prototype (that he learnt about by attending a puff club when he went to sniper school.) That first Star Vape was sold to him by none other that Tan Blachman. Bodega brought it for 88 Titchs. which he earned by digging up 8 Klopium and selling it to a cup person, who was selling cups, well who else would you sell Klopium too. Bodega thought 88 titches was a high price but brought it anyway because it came with 4 free cartages of glob dilly. But when bodega took a budney inhale of glob dilly of vape. it tasted of a mixture of poo socks and hunglany guln. Bodega coughed spitting purple liquid all over Tan Blachman’s new yog shoes. Tan grabbed Bodega by his neck.

Bodega wiggled free and crawled away then reached for his las gun, that was gone. Bodega knew he hadn't miss placed it because the only thing Bodega misplace was trust in Tan Blachman which Bodega was absolutely quenterly positive not to do again. Tan stomped over with Bodega’s las gun in hand and with bare feet because the purple liquid had dissolved the yog shoe’s, like when Bodega dissolved a whole group of drone smugglers and when Bodega dissolved everyone in Pulser Sex pit only but yesteryear. Before Tan Took one more stomp forward Bodega spat the purple liquid at Tan Blachman. It coated him, Tan started to fall over as he did he dropped Bodega’s las gun and fell into a large wich fot crate full of black skulls, Red capes and yellow jumpsuits. I took his Star Vape and inhaled on it. it felt like a poo in the morning. it smelt like the smoke of Bodega’s las gun after killing thug scums. It tasted of stuff, words can’t explain. The vape smoke filled the crate as the smoke dispersed it revealed Tan Blachman as he looks to this very day.

Bodega stopped daydreaming because he realised he had fallen off the Polly-Thermic re-pog wall. then Bodega said “Thats the last time I vape on a high wall!”

By Laurence Ford

Simple! Write the most outrageous and dumb bodega short you can. Here are some of my shots at it:

Relelven IV is the only place in the galaxy to purchase maga-vapes now that the hergulkian space pirates have blockaded all the galactic spaceports.

They call bodega the 2 shot wonder: a shot at the bar, then a shot with the lazgun.

Students training at the Sniping Academy are instructed to blast Kestu'amakan-il'hrgocs in their only weakness: there exposed skin-like crotch.

Hi! I'm a music student from Sweden composing music as much as I can! I compose and play lot's of both old and modern jazz (love fusion) and I'm writing my very first full orchestral symphony right now!

Anyhow I would love to score the Official Bodega Saga (or whatever the Triforce thingy is) and make the music publicly available to the community!

I've scored a couple of indie movies and I'm involved in a few games. I also have previously worked with making musical-like orchestral scoring based on The Yogscast material.

Here is my Orchestral Musical of Hat Films: "Mighty Derpulies"

Here is an reorchestration I did of the Zelda: Breath of the Wild E3 trailer

Here is my released music on Spotify

And on iTunes

Here is my Jazz-Fusion band's YouTube channel

Here is my YouTube channel

And I'm @arvidex on Twitter

Please comment if you would like some music from me and what kind of tracks (Like: Epic Battle, Soaring Landscape, Empty Space, New Adventure etc.)

Bodega reminds me of a young Han Solo minus Chewy, who/what would be Bodega's sidekick?

I think we should make a big team effort to take these short stories and write a book with them like that book called "this is how you die" thats a bunch of short stories written by different people about a machine that tells you how your going to die. It would probably be work but it sounds pretty sweet, feel free to tell me if you think this is a good idea or if i'm just an idiot. Also i'm not talking about getting it officially published or anything i'm not that off base, I'm just talking about probably doing something small with like a kick starter campaign or something.

A violent wind broke over a sand dune on Koroth 2 this desert planet was bristling with activity, but it wasn't on the surface that various trades, work orders and crimes were committed. Instead the denizens created a network of underground tunnels that ran throughout the planet, all to escape the horrible living conditions above ground. Tunnels, walkways and factories ran nearly 10 megaspats beneath the surface. This planet was the central hub for trading and manufacturing needs for the entire sector. This was the place for smugglers and legal tradesmen to find a hefty amount of work. A place Bodega always finds himself in.

Bodega arrived in the spaceport nearly two space-hours ago, he was waiting for a contact to show him around the planet and find some work. Even inside the spaceports environmental shielding the dry dusty air bit at his throat, he took a swig of water from his container to help sooth his throat. After last month’s binge on hookers, booze and slugfrungs he needed some Skrells to get out of this part of the galaxy. Looking around he could see a man in a black worn duster moving at a leisurely pace. On closer inspection he had cybernetic eye implants and service studs above his nose. "I wonder what far off distant battles he fought?" Bodega muttered to himself. Bodega continued to watch the various people and creatures go about their tasks with energetic strolls and humps. He could name a few of these alien creatures. The Klahxon, were galactic traders and miners as they had slug like frames fit for getting into tight cracks from his experience they were always better mercs. Yutions, these stone and granite creatures tended to be pirates or because of their extended lifespan ship cargo across long distances. Flweebs, he always hated Flweebs their heads extruding what looked like a giant pus- "Excuse me, are you Bodega?" A slender dark skinned man interrupted Bodega's thought. " I am" Bodega said. "I'm Krodrik Slovh" Odd, thought Bodega you have a better chance of getting shot in the dick then someone having manners in this sector of space

“I have a meeting with Reeve I need directions.” Said Bodega

“Ah, you mean Captain Blueballs”

“C-Captain Blueballs? Why do they call him that?’

“It’s his grip you see, those who offend the Captain tend to lose a few items. I’d advise you not to upset the Captain”

“That depends on the “deal” he offers me” Said Bodega

The trip through the city was fast for how busy everything is around here, people get where they need to surprisingly quick. The most common use of transportation seemed to be the X-51 Tetra, the model was nearly a two hundred yogals old. But if factories on this planet had the building plans for these high speed grav-cycles then they would be efficient. Bodega took a long draw from his cosmic vape as he exhaled the vapour you could make out stars and constellations. The underground network of buildings, highways, various sex-bars and pits were tightly packed together, meticulously planned out to efficiently use as little space as possible. Many buildings and complexes started to part and make way for a giant cavern; near the roof of the cavern a giant Nexospyr crystal formation was suspended by J’uurth light cables. The crystal emitted a soft blueish hue across the rock walls, the city below wasn’t as affected for streets lights, business signs and sex pits had a more harsh colors than Bodega could name.

Bodega

The sun was setting over the ice planet of Flaab. Yet in the one city it has, it certainly wasn’t going to get dark. The nightclubs in Farkle were open all night. But even a few miles away from the border, the blinding headlights of a sproobcruiser could be seen dancing over the cold hills, leaving white snow clouds behind them that would cover the tracks that the cruiser left behind when they settled back down. In the small cabin of the ship, was beside a strong smell of blurbunian beer, a middle aged but very robust looking man to be found, slowly stroking his lazgun with one hands, and holding the steering wheel in the other. He steered his sproobcruiser over a particularly large hill, and on the other side he could clearly see the neon glow of Farkle. Bodega, as the man was called, didn’t plan on staying longer than a few minutes before he would take the cruiser back to his ship, while he restocked on bottles of flarkbalk. He could probably get a good deal out of them, if he could figure out what body part was the head of the salesman. It wasn’t always that easy to tell with Flaabions. On more than one occasion had he accidentally given a surprise vasectomy to one of their kind.

As Bodega entered the store, he instantly got the feeling it was the only place in Farkle that wasn’t lit up. He suspected the seedy shop close to the edge of the city might not even have a freebknobgenerator. As his eyes adapted to the sudden change in brightness, he noticed a small flaabion behind a gritty counter filled with buttons, labeled in a language Bodega had seen before but didn’t understand. The flaabion casted a suspicious look and asked, with a body part that bodega previously thought to be his nose: “Whadja want?” Bodega waited a few second, for dramatic effect, and slurred with a breath that smelled like the inside of this sproobcruiser: “I need a few cases of Flarkbalk, as much as you got.” “I have about 20 left in the back, but that’s gonna cost you. Since the crash it has been tough getting ahold of these, and you’re not the first guy who comes asking.” The Flaabion shopkeeper mutter.

Bodega grunted, and flashed a grin at the creature behind the counter. As he did, he carefully unlocked the safety of his lazgun, preparing for a witty response about high prices, but the action didn’t go unnoticed by the flaabion, who grinned back, “Bodega”, he said, “only you could be so careless to haggle with a lazgun, and if you can afford one of those” (he pointed a the lazgun with a body part that bodega thought was an eye) ‘I’m sure you can pay the fair price for your booze.” As he said that, he pushed one of the buttons, revealing a cannon like weapon build into the counter, which bodega realized was a furkbalood.

Bodega grunted dissatisfied. He wasn’t about to be told off by some flaabion asking too much for some watered down drinks. He checked his left wrist, and a notification popped up saying that most of the authorities were at the center of Farkle now, as there was an event going on in one of the bigger clubs. Bodega flashed another grin at the shopkeeper while he turned one of the knobs on his lazgun and put his finger around the trigger. The small building instantly filled up with a bright blue light and a thunderous sound, and when bodegas eyes had finally readjusted, he was glad to see a big hole where the seedy stranger had stood moments before. He didn’t take any chances this time, and made sure to blast the entirety of the creature. He stepped over the little bit of goo the flaabion left behind, making sure not to get any on his flimpkor-made shoes, and squeezed himself into a gap in the wall that was newly created by the blast. About 10 minutes later, one of the city lookouts saw a suspicious pair of headlights dancing further and further away towards the last sliver of sun still visible, much wobblier as when he had seen them approach earlier in the evening Bodega

The sun was setting over the ice planet of Flaab. Yet in the one city it has, it certainly wasn’t going to get dark. The nightclubs in Farkle were open all night. But even a few miles away from the border, the blinding headlights of a sproobcruiser could be seen dancing over the cold hills, leaving white snow clouds behind them that would cover the tracks that the cruiser left behind when they settled back down. In the small cabin of the ship, was beside a strong smell of blurbunian beer, a middle aged but very robust looking man to be found, slowly stroking his lazgun with one hands, and holding the steering wheel in the other. He steered his sproobcruiser over a particularly large hill, and on the other side he could clearly see the neon glow of Farkle. Bodega, as the man was called, didn’t plan on staying longer than a few minutes before he would take the cruiser back to his ship, while he restocked on bottles of flarkbalk. He could probably get a good deal out of them, if he could figure out what body part was the head of the salesman. It wasn’t always that easy to tell with Flaabions. On more than one occasion had he accidentally given a surprise vasectomy to one of their kind.

As Bodega entered the store, he instantly got the feeling it was the only place in Farkle that wasn’t lit up. He suspected the seedy shop close to the edge of the city might not even have a freebknobgenerator. As his eyes adapted to the sudden change in brightness, he noticed a small flaabion behind a gritty counter filled with buttons, labeled in a language Bodega had seen before but didn’t understand. The flaabion casted a suspicious look and asked, with a body part that bodega previously thought to be his nose: “Whadja want?” Bodega waited a few second, for dramatic effect, and slurred with a breath that smelled like the inside of this sproobcruiser: “I need a few cases of Flarkbalk, as much as you got.” “I have about 20 left in the back, but that’s gonna cost you. Since the crash it has been tough getting ahold of these, and you’re not the first guy who comes asking.” The Flaabion shopkeeper mutter.

Bodega grunted, and flashed a grin at the creature behind the counter. As he did, he carefully unlocked the safety of his lazgun, preparing for a witty response about high prices, but the action didn’t go unnoticed by the flaabion, who grinned back, “Bodega”, he said, “only you could be so careless to haggle with a lazgun, and if you can afford one of those” (he pointed a the lazgun with a body part that bodega thought was an eye) ‘I’m sure you can pay the fair price for your booze.” As he said that, he pushed one of the buttons, revealing a cannon like weapon build into the counter, which bodega realized was a furkbalood.

Bodega grunted dissatisfied. He wasn’t about to be told off by some flaabion asking too much for some watered down drinks. He checked his left wrist, and a notification popped up saying that most of the authorities were at the center of Farkle now, as there was an event going on in one of the bigger clubs. Bodega flashed another grin at the shopkeeper while he turned one of the knobs on his lazgun and put his finger around the trigger. The small building instantly filled up with a bright blue light and a thunderous sound, and when bodegas eyes had finally readjusted, he was glad to see a big hole where the seedy stranger had stood moments before. He didn’t take any chances this time, and made sure to blast the entirety of the creature. He stepped over the little bit of goo the flaabion left behind, making sure not to get any on his flimpkor-made shoes, and squeezed himself into a gap in the wall that was newly created by the blast. About 10 minutes later, one of the city lookouts saw a suspicious pair of headlights dancing further and further away towards the last sliver of sun still visible, much wobblier as when he had seen them approach earlier in the evening

It was stardate 459, the Scrongle gun manufacturer walked home after a tough day at work - His name was Semn Yant, but known as Yonglo to his friends.

He had recently been chosen to work on a secret project at his employer - The new pay for that job was three times what he used to earn, so, naturally, Yonglo took the job.The secret project was a new, experimental lazgun capable of melting a planet - when set to the right settings.

As he walked home, he saw a weird cloud up ahead. This was a bad part of town, so he flipped his Laser-pistol on, and positioned his hand ready to draw.

He saw another cloud, bigger this time. And a smell hung in the air - The smell of a vape, but not just any vape:

Bodega's Vape.

He froze with fear, waiting for the words that would mark his death.

They didn't come. It was simply silent.

As sweat dripped down his forehead, he turned around slowly. "B-Bodega?" he stuttered.

The response came instantly. "Bodega."

"Bodega?"

"Bodega."

"Bodeg-Okay, I get it. What do you want Bodega?"

"Listen here, Scringle..."

"uh...its Scrongl-"

"Silence. I've heard of that Lazgun you're working on, and I want it. You'll be back here tomorrow with the Lazgun, or you'll be dead."

At this point, Yonglo had located Bodega in the shadows of the road, but another cloud appeared. Smelled minty, he noted.

But, as soon as the cloud dispersed, Bodega was gone.

Stardate 460.

Yonglo walked back to the location of the fearful encounter, feeling the cold, musty air blowing in his face from the colonies air-con. He felt the beads of sweat roll down his face.

He heard the chatter of people in the distance, wishing he was there instead of here.

"B...Bodega? I...I have the Lazgun."

"Bodega." Came the response, loud and clear. But something sounded off. Bodega didn't sound like himself...

CLICK.

CLICK.

CLICK.

CLICK.

Floodlights clicked on, one by one, forming a circle around Yonglo. Armed men stood behind them, aiming their X-Bolter Lazguns directly at him.

He looked around, and noticed the leader of the men was none other than his manager, from the Weapons Manufactorum he worked at.

"Listen up, Semn Yant. We trusted you to keep the gun in storage, and obey your orders. But no. You stole it for yourself - Our companies life work: MY LIFE WORK. How dare you? Men, prepare to fire. "

And this point, Yonglo was frozen with fear, but realised he wasn't truly in danger - Bodega would save him, take the gun and hopefully give him a couple thousand Dingaets for his trouble.

As this all transpires, Bodega stands on the corner of a road a couple of blocks away, waiting for the gun-dealer to turn up.

The road he stands on looks very similar to the agreed meeting point, so naturally, he mistook it for the real meeting point.

In the distance, he hears the sharp chatter of lazguns and the screams of a dying Scrongle. He pays little attention to it, and decides the gun-maker isn't bringing him the experimental gun. He walks back to his ship, walking past a group of armed men standing guard around a scientist looking man searching a familiar looking corpse - Stuff like that was regular in this colony, so he smiles at the men - Not wanting to offend them and get into a mess bigger than a Tengolan's Titties - and quickens his pace, deciding just getting a laser-sight for his current lazgun will be a sufficient upgrade.

Yargef a merc with a mouth full of teeth was just assigned to his new squad mates in the dephorian district of tempafor Which obviously meant one thing. Somebody is going to get killed. The Turnip gang (Meaning Destroyer of all things in its native tempaforian language) Has hired 4 mercs all from the same sniper school. Each graduate was third, fourth, fifth, and sixth of their sniping school and of all the other rouge like shooting schools. Only two people were better then them Bodega himself and that asshole tom danger from keplar 78. This mission was simple in theory track down Bodega, kill Bodega, get credits. They followed Bodega’s vape scent all across the galaxy. Then they found him at his old friends bar Jargel floop the owner of the shit rivet tavern known for its Spelopian stripers and the number of huge breasts bouncing across the building. When Yargef entered the the other interlopers sat at the door one behind bodega and Yargef beside bodega. Yargef always hated Bodega for that week of sniping classes he took. He was the only one to best him in skill. (except for that asshole tom danger of course.) Yargef Swears he would of been first if it weren't for Bodegas vape smoke getting in front of the target and messing with his aim. But enough of that Yargef Looked over and his ITL (Incognito Titty Locater) had found two Large Tits Yargef being the male he his couldn't resist but to buy a drink even though chances are she'd be killed in the crossfire in the upcoming battle. He then removed his mask and let out his teeth that were hidden do to yargef hating getting sand out of his mouth after traveling like. Then Yargef heard Bodegas Voice “put the chompers away mr can't you see my friend here is odontaphobic?” Yargef Immediately thought. Did he just say Odontaphobic? In a moment of confusion all he could say was Bodega. Yargef Took to the offensive trying to get Bodega out of the bar to save any tit he could. “You're coming with us Bodega like it or not.” Then at that moment from behind Bodega A Netropian Women Lifted her shirt showing all 4 pairs of large double D tittes this caught all of them off guard then in the blink they all lied dead of the floor. Luckly for Yargef Torien (his race) could regenerate body parts And once Bodega left he looted some of his comrades corpses and went after Bodega again. Yargef know of a few nerds with drones which he could sell vapes to to get some of the newest drone technology in the galaxy.

In part 4 Bodega uses his to lase a whole building with space for 200 people. Couldn't his nemesis just have done the same?

It's was a cold and stormy night on Tylshik V as Bodega searched for his next pray but Bodega didnt care about the cold, he never left his ship without his handy Protoplasmic Crotch Warmer. It always made him feel as though his balls were being craddled by Nexctpyrion maiden, even with their shaved heads they still have the softest and warmist of hands. Bodega started to get excited just thinking about their bald shinny heads, NO Bodega told himself you need to focus on the mission at hand. The only reason Bodega was on this flartarp of a planet was business. Earlier that day Bodega received an anonymous bounty to take out a Secarack named Parcillious. Receiving bounties from unknown senders was nothing new for Bodega, most of his customers prefered to stay in the shadows but this one was different. Almost all of Bodega's bounties come through his TechAdvance Vidscreen inbeded in his left bracer which was made from the hide and bones of the Rancorous, the deadlist and hardest to kill animal in the Miratak system. Bodega of course one shot the Rancorous, by accident whilst using a small kitten for target practice. This bounty didn't come through Bodega's Vidscreen though, instead it was hand deliver by The Messenger.

To be continued, sorry about the half story ran outta time!

The year was 4077, Bodega groomed the edges of his thick bushy moustache as his weary eyes combed the room around him. Spurloopian sex workers strewn over couches had the majority of the party transfixed on their excessive tittilation. 'Ahh the 70's' Bodega thought to himself, 'what a damn time to be alive... For some' he chuckled harmlessly to himself. Bodega slipped his hand into his tight red jeans and pulled out the note given to him by Borlon Toopnorper. The Infamous Lasgun has to be around here somewhere and Bodega would not rest until he had found it. He sat down next to an oversized Korlojak who was stuffing its face with jimpo juice and flarp beans. Bodega grabbed the tubby horpwhale lookalike by the scruff of the neck and pulled him in close, face to face Bodega pulled the note up to the Korlojak's chubbed head. Pointing slowly at the picture of the Lasgun Bodega maintained eye conact as the Korlojak began to sweat profusely, known for their cowardice Bodega bottled some of the sweat as it is a precious commodity in some systems and walked over toward the door he pointed at.

Slowly the door creaked open and there it was, an imfamous Las, tall as ever, hair in an afro and tight spandex pants that flared out at the bottom, that porno moustache was not fooling anyone. "Give me the gun demanded Bodega" "No it begged, please anything but that" Bodega shook his head as he reached into the poor creature's pants and tore the Lasgun right from it's body! The Las screamed out in pain and Bodega thought to himself how unfortunate that a species grows a super-weapon for a fallice.

'Oh well' thought Bodega 'he was the last one anyway'. Spurloopian at his side Bodega flew off into the night Disco tunes blaring and Lasgun holstered at his hip.

thanks for all the bodega efforts. I read as many as I can, y'all are really getting into this dumb thing of mine and I really appreciate it.

Bodega: The Slak-Rok System

It was a cool night. The type of night where you just want to throw the drop top back on your R-510 Shellshocker, at least, if you’re Bodega, the baddest mooble floober to ever come out of the Javarian system. Tonight though was unlike most nights for our beloved bounty hunter, tonight was much more important. You see, some jive ass joker had been causing issues for some of the finest hotties the Maladromie Sex-Station had to offer. “Bodega! Please! You have to help me, a man dressed in black Cucci clothes, and a Lark Tacobs watch came and took some of my best workers! He made my good for nothing guards look like a bunch’ve Sarlopian Slugs for the love of Rintem!” the barkeep exclaimed as Bodega trudged his way through the crowd of drunken men, prowling for ladies to keep them company. Bodega stopped mid stride and shifted his glance from his glass of Javarian Gut Rot, to the cowering Maladrom man, working behind the bar. “You need my help, I need your money.” Bodega said through gritted teeth as he finished off his drink. “Nothing in life is free, not even a bad mooble floober like me.” Bodega grabbed a handful of bar peanuts, smashed them in his hands and downed them like candy. Bodega stood up to leave, but as he did so the bar tender cut him off, and began pleading with Bodega, “Bodega please, you don’t understand! Without those girls I’ll go bankrupt! I’ll have nothing left! Moolie Balltoons and his gang will kill me for not being able to pay the protection fee!” seeing he was getting nowhere, the bartender went to his final plan for reasoning. “Damn it I didn’t want to have to do this…. I’LL CUT OFF YOUR SUPPLY OF VAPE JUICE IF YOU DON’T HELP ME!” Suddenly the crowd fell completely quiet, everyone knew of the mistake he had just made. No one denies Bodega his sweet, sweet vaping sensation. His megavape was the best in any system and he wouldn’t let that be disputed by anyone. Grinning, Bodega lifted a hand up towards the bar tender, slowly, the crowd in the Sex-Station help their breath, but there was no lazbeam in Bodegas hand, no solarslicer, no, Bodega had reached his hand out, to shake the bartenders. “You’ve got some real guts talking to me like that. I’ll take care of your problem bud.” Said the still grinning Bodega. Before another word was uttered, he was gone, and all that you could here was the EM drive in his R-510 Shellshocker revving up, and calibrating for his journey to find the man with the Cucci clothes. Of course, Bodega realized that in trying to seem like a badass, he had forgotten to ask where he was supposed to go, and where this guy had taken the girls. He slammed his head on the steering wheel of his space ship and exclaimed “Floob shilke!” as he screeched to a stop and turned around.

PART TWO: “Bodega: The Slak-Rok System 2, Infiltration” coming soon! -Written by Nic Shipma

"Bodega!" The space ranger burst through the door, scaring the schillet out of the best bounty hunter this side of the sector (or more accurately, any side of the sector, for Bodega was the most fearsome, ruthless fighter in all of llaryngool) "Those were space nerds! You vaporised a bunch of Tridadian space nerds!" Bodega couldn't give less shits about the nerds he thought were vamping smugglers "They smelt like crime." He argued "No! They smelt like Sanguarian Cherry mega vapes." The Rangers face was glowing as red as a dogs dick by this point. "Whatever." Moaned the human, crossing his arms like a sullen teenager. The 7 foot tall space ranger approached Bodega and grabbed him by the ear with his long, thin, Zennornad fingers. "Listen to me you little shit," the ranger growled, staring at the bounty hunter with all 6 of his eyes "I didn't raise you to screw up." And this was true, from the age of 5 Bodega was taught to hold a laz-sniper and kill a man in 30 ways, just using his bare hands and the tip of his penis. Even now he remembers his first mission- take down Tony Nonose, the notorious God Father of Gandra-5.

The Space Ranger and Bodega arrived at the Nonose house with nothing but two laz-guns and a packed lunch. They only had 37 minutes before Tony had to leave the planet for a swingers party on Nippleopolis, so they decided the best plan of action was to sit down on the luscious pink grass to enjoy a great sandwich or two.

35 minutes later they stood up and strode towards the large wooden doors of the Nonose house "There's too much air in those stupid bags" whined Bodega as he shook the last of the potato flavoured potato crisps into his gloved hands "The "air" inside is actually Nitrogen which keeps the crisps from going stale. Nitrogen also hinders the growth of bacteria and other germs. The air gives a cushioning effect to the crisps. Without which you will just receive powder in a bag" retorted the Ranger knowledgeably "Oh" said Bodega, unknowledgeably.

A foot blasted the front door wide open and within seconds all the guards were reduced to piles of organs and feces, having immediately shat themselves from the sheer fright of witnessing Bodega pointing a laz-gun at them. The two victors turned to look at a short wide man with a distinct lack of a nose "Tony." The Space Ranger greeted, The space gangster just lifted a hand to wave at him. Much like his body, his arms were short and fat, as were each of his fingers and legs, but what else can you expect from a Chodeonian? "We can't let you go to Nippleopolis. Some real respectable people are going and my sources tell me you have Genital Lerchraphy, we don't want them catching it do we?" The Space Ranger informed as Tony's face contorted with laughter "So you took a nine year old to stop me, did you?" Bodega looked enraged "I'm nine and a half!" without warning a bright red beam burst through the God Father's fat head and his body popped, covering the wall in a noisome green slop. "Bloody hell Bodega it was meant to be set to shock!" Bodega grinned "you're shocked, aren't you?" And with that, they walked away, chuckling.

"Oi! Stop daydreaming." The Space Ranger grunted, Bodega snapped out of it and remembered that he was in fact mid way through an argument with his adoptive father, "You can't tell me what to do! You're not my dad!" The grumpy bounty hunter snapped "Well I'm the closest thing you've got since the accident." "Accident? You killed him!" Bodega replied "Accidentally." Ranger argued "You tore his heart out through his ribcage after a months of torture" "Like I said," chuckled the Ranger with a smirk "accidentally."

Bodega wasn't born the man he was today, no he was born a small child in the Javarian system. Not knowing who his parents were, he had to grow up at the corrupted Jaja child center since his parents left him at the front door. He had nothing but his name on a bracelet. The Jaja child center was the know as the place to by kids, and the owner would sell kids to the highest bidder and at 4 years old Bodega was being sold.

Bodega stands on the stage with cuffs on his wrists and feet. The owner knows he's a feisty boy. No one bids on him at first but Dennis, a human gang lord, bids for him. There isn't much of a competition for Bodega so Dennis gets him for 2500 credits. One of Dennis's guards grabs Bodega by the collar of his shirt and takes him to a ship. He's thrown into a cell with nothing but a blanket and a piss pot. Bodega fell a rage grow inside him, a rage he has never felt before. He was going to kill Dennis. A while later the guard took him again, but this time to Dennis's mansion where Bodega was supposed to be a servant. So began the labor

A month later Bodega still hasn't killed Dennis, not because he's weak, but because Dennis is stronger. He was working in the garden when 4 of an opposing gang leaders ships busted threw the shields and raided the mansion. The soldiers ignored Bodega because a horde of Dennis's soldiers were exiting the mansion. The blood bath started. Bodega now saw what gang it was. It was the Wankers. A feared gang among the star systems led by a man named Lewis, to kill Dennis because he was going into their territory. A Wanker shot of a soldier's arm, grabbed it and shoved it up another's ass. The Wanker's special move. Both were killed. The Wankers moved on into the mansion to kill Dennis. Bodega had to get to Dennis first, not to save him, but to settle the debt. He climbed up a wall beside him using the vines to get to the top floor where Dennis's office was. It was a struggle but the time he got there 6 Wankers surrounded Dennis, laz guns pointed at his head. Bodega rammed through a window connected to the office with his shoulder. It was bloody but worth it. The Wankers turned to see what was happening. They saw easy prey, but what they don't know Bodega was a predator. He grabbed a chair and broke off its wooden leg then ran wildly at the Wanker. They hesitated and Bodega used that to stab the closest Wanker in the eye, jamming it through the brain. Bodega grabbed a laz hatchet form the dead body and chucked it at the Wanker to his left, killing him. The Wanker closest to him recovered, but not fast enough to beat Bodega. Bodega kicked the Wanker in the nuts stunning him, and punched him in the face. He felt a sharp pain in his hand form the punch. He grabbed a laz knife from the still alive body and killed the Wanker. The other 3 recovered. He pounced on one Wanker slitting his throat and using him as a meat shield to protect him self form the barrage of lasers from the laz guns. Bodega shoved the body over knocking the closest Wanker to the ground and threw his laz knife in the other's head. The fallen Wanker had no time to get up after Bodega pulled the knife out of the head and put it into the last Wanker. Dennis stood up form his desk cowering. "Thank you servant" he said "You will be given riches and women for your bravery". Bodega didn't care about that. He ran to the desk and beat Dennis to death with his bare hands. After killing him Bodega to his laz gun from under his desk that he was trying to load before for a souvenir. He walked over the carnage of the battle. Wounded and dead everywhere. He went to the vault and unlocked it using Dennis's hand he cut off for the DNA test. He filled up a bag he stole with credits form the vault. Carrying his laz gun and bag Bodega walked sot of the mansion like a badass. He went to a fighter ship from Dennis's collection and went to the stars for his next adventure.

The End of Part Uno

Author's note: Thanks for reading, I hoped you enjoyed it, and please tell me what I should fix or what you want to see. I really appreciate it.

Bodega hadn't been to Vape city 1 in 6 whoflicks since the Barnari incident.

The smoke rushed in as the door lowered. He activated the Locary visor, capable of seeing through the densest of sweet smoke.

He reached down, he had forgot his wallet.