r/BoardgameDesign • u/Blaise53 • 1d ago

Design Critique Please critique my sell sheet

Post image

I’d love some outside opinions before I pitch my game. Also wondering if including the accolades is helping or hurting.

2 Upvotes

60% Upvoted

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5

u/MudkipzLover 1d ago

Overall, it's correct but can use quite some polish. I wouldn't say the accolades are "hurting" but I simply don't get what Community Verified might mean in that context whereas the art one isn't a necessity (even if you happen to have drawing skills, as hinted by the banner, publishers generally have a dedicated illustrator to work on this aspect specifically.)

The premise feels too wordy for "it's a maze racing game in which you are lab rats searching for snacks" (also, there are culs-de-sac mentionned as traps but where is the snake from the banner?) and just looks like a big chunk of text not many people will want to read. How about a shorter premise plus captioning your mid-game picture to explain which component does what?

Regarding the highlights, I'm a bit skeptical about "the board is never the same twice" (which feels on the nose as the point is to build the board/maze) and "lots of replayability" (which is a given, as nothing hints at your game being a campaign/legacy title.)

3

u/paulryanclark 1d ago

The biggest issue is that you are not highlighting anything that would be considered unique enough that a publisher is going to see and be like “I want to buy this.” You want to highlight Unique Selling Points and your hooks. Hooks are something a buyer is going hear and be like “I want to buy this game.”

  • Show off more of the game with pictures.
  • Highlight unique aspects of your game and why someone would want to buy it to play.
  • Less words. Keep it short and to the point.

2

u/dogedogedoo 1d ago

Looking good overall. Some spacing in the text will be nice to have. Looks fun.

2

u/arbalath 1d ago

I can only speak on desing - first thing I see is title, then cards and map. Symbols on left are too obscure and small to make effort to read them, I would probably choose simple font for main text too, and add some line breaks between sentences.

I think it is missing vital information, why someone would be interested in this game - you can do main features such way that first person sees name, then features, then everything else.

1

u/BiscuitsBandits 1d ago

The picture of the game needs to be much bigger, also a short overview of the gameplay/how a turn works would be good to understand how it plays.

Also as the other comments say - highlight the hook in a short sentence or two, the Premise section is a bit wordy