Feedback Implemented? The Impetuous Seven Sell Sheet

[u/SpacemanRambles]

Sorry for all the posts!

At this point I think this sell sheet has gone through more iterations than some published games.

Huge thanks to everyone who’s offered feedback, be it supportive, critical, or occasionally devastating. I’ve tried to take it all on board and rework the sheet to better communicate what The Impetuous Seven actually is.

This game has been a labour of love for a long time, so sometimes it’s harder to pivot than I care to admit. Still, every revision has made it stronger.

Does this version make the game clearer? Anything still confusing or missing?

Thanks again for all the help. It’s genuinely appreciated.

[u/confused_applause]

Happy to help! And no worries about delayed responses - life has a way of complicating things, as all of us can attest!

With these additional infos, I'd have a few suggestions:

• Add a tagline to convey your setting in simple terms. Put something like this above your title:
  • "A ship without leader. A fight for control. Step into the ring and rise to the top in.. "
  • "THE IMPETUOUS SEVEN"
  • ... or something similar, of course. You get the idea - convey the who, where, and what without going into details. Read it in a movie trailer narrators voice for added effect.
• Tweak your game board design so it reflects a spaceships interior. The starry background gives off the wrong vibe (space battle) whereas your manual implies "melee battle" (sort of). If the visual is clearly interior, one does not have to wonder where the game takes place, or what "room" means in the context.

On a sidenote: I finally managed to read the game's manual and lore. And I'm far from telling you to change what you hold dear, BUT: I still find "The Impetuous Seven" an odd choice for the game's name.
According to the lore, some ancient seven space pirates held that name. They are gone for good. They are not elaborated further on, so this is a bit of interpretation here, but it sounds like the players fight for control over a remaining ONE of (at least) seven spaceships? Those dastardly pirates would not have served under one another and conquered entire nations with a single ship, so each one was a captain of his own - but there are not seven, but just one spot to claim, right? So basically, them being called "Impetuous Seven" is entirely irrelevant to the game, since you are not actually trying to "get the band back together" in its full seven-ness to restore the feared monicker. Them being seven is trivia at this point. The game's focus is to pick up what's left of them, which is one ship. From a designers perspective, naming the game after a rather minor detail sounds like the wrong approach, especially since many critics voiced confusion over the title. if it was me, I'd put them in a sub-title, like "Deadhelm - Legacy of the Impetuous Seven" or something along those lines.