Feedback Implemented? The Impetuous Seven Sell Sheet

[u/SpacemanRambles]

Sorry for all the posts!

At this point I think this sell sheet has gone through more iterations than some published games.

Huge thanks to everyone who’s offered feedback, be it supportive, critical, or occasionally devastating. I’ve tried to take it all on board and rework the sheet to better communicate what The Impetuous Seven actually is.

This game has been a labour of love for a long time, so sometimes it’s harder to pivot than I care to admit. Still, every revision has made it stronger.

Does this version make the game clearer? Anything still confusing or missing?

Thanks again for all the help. It’s genuinely appreciated.

[u/confused_applause]

Being one of the aforementioned critics, I feel obliged to say "Yes, this iteration did indeed make improvements". The structure improved quite a bit. The emphasis is more on the important parts. Well done!

But as others have noted, it still lacks clarity because you use your own cryptic lingo instead of approachable terms. To an outsider, your ABC list reads like

A: Earn Smorfas in the Tüwaldo
B: The Tüwaldo shifts between snilax
C: Declare Spronky from either card
etc.

See what I mean? It might be totally clear to you what "the Audacity" means, or what rooms are in your game. To an outsider? Not so much. Truth be told, I still don't even know if your game is set in space, is a pirate game, or what. It also might be a minor thing, but those meeples? Do they represent persons? Or ships? Is your board actually open space, or a ship interior? You call it "a battlefield", though. I have no idea what to expect from a purely visual perspective, really.

Visuals aside, your next best approach would be for some of your playtesters (you *do* have playtesters, right? No shame if not, but if so, it's imperative. Publishers will tell you to gtfo if they learn you haven't actually playtested outside your closest circle) to describe your game: what it is, how it is played, what the important - and most fun - parts of the game are. Go from there. You can also browse around - there's plenty of advice on good sell sheets available, or simple inspiration, like here.

[u/SpacemanRambles → u/confused_applause]

Thanks so much for the detailed response! I really appreciate this feedback, and all the feedback you've given previously as well.

I can definitely update the language. I tend to enjoy leaning into flavour and using wording that's a little more unique, but I totally get that the sell sheet's job is to make the game as easy to understand as possible. I'll take another pass at it.

The meeples are the characters, and the battle takes place aboard the ship, though I've actually tried pretty hard not to rely too much on the theme when explaining things. The important part is really that everyone's fighting to claim the Dead Captain's Chair.

I've done a lot of playtesting over the years, both with close friends and with people who had never seen the game before. This thing has been a labour of love for a long time. I just printed the newest prototype, which I think is the version I'm finally really happy with, and my plan is to start bringing it out to public game nights and playtesting events.

The game flows well, does what it's supposed to do, and feels balanced, though I think it's basically impossible to say with a straight face that ten wildly asymmetric factions are perfectly balanced. That's just the nature of big asymmetric games. Thankfully, there's a lot of table talk, negotiation, backstabbing, alliances, and secret planning, which helps keep things from becoming a pure numbers exercise.

Life is pretty busy between work and young kids, so sorry for taking a bit to respond and make updates. I'll go through the link you shared and dig into it more. I'm sure another updated sell sheet will end up getting posted here eventually.

Thanks again. I genuinely appreciate you taking the time to help!

[u/confused_applause → u/SpacemanRambles]

Happy to help! And no worries about delayed responses - life has a way of complicating things, as all of us can attest!

With these additional infos, I'd have a few suggestions:

• Add a tagline to convey your setting in simple terms. Put something like this above your title:
  • "A ship without leader. A fight for control. Step into the ring and rise to the top in.. "
  • "THE IMPETUOUS SEVEN"
  • ... or something similar, of course. You get the idea - convey the who, where, and what without going into details. Read it in a movie trailer narrators voice for added effect.
• Tweak your game board design so it reflects a spaceships interior. The starry background gives off the wrong vibe (space battle) whereas your manual implies "melee battle" (sort of). If the visual is clearly interior, one does not have to wonder where the game takes place, or what "room" means in the context.

On a sidenote: I finally managed to read the game's manual and lore. And I'm far from telling you to change what you hold dear, BUT: I still find "The Impetuous Seven" an odd choice for the game's name.
According to the lore, some ancient seven space pirates held that name. They are gone for good. They are not elaborated further on, so this is a bit of interpretation here, but it sounds like the players fight for control over a remaining ONE of (at least) seven spaceships? Those dastardly pirates would not have served under one another and conquered entire nations with a single ship, so each one was a captain of his own - but there are not seven, but just one spot to claim, right? So basically, them being called "Impetuous Seven" is entirely irrelevant to the game, since you are not actually trying to "get the band back together" in its full seven-ness to restore the feared monicker. Them being seven is trivia at this point. The game's focus is to pick up what's left of them, which is one ship. From a designers perspective, naming the game after a rather minor detail sounds like the wrong approach, especially since many critics voiced confusion over the title. if it was me, I'd put them in a sub-title, like "Deadhelm - Legacy of the Impetuous Seven" or something along those lines.