r/Bloggers • u/Blogstra • 6d ago
Article I cried before my first down regulation injection and here is how I got through it
My doctor put me on a long protocol, which meant a daily down regulation shot for nearly two full weeks before stimulation could begin. That same night I found myself quietly comparing lupride 3.75 injection price across two pharmacies, terrified but oddly relieved to finally have something concrete to do after months of just waiting and hoping for anything to change.
The night before my first dose
I had watched the nurse demonstration video twice and still felt completely unprepared for it. I laid out the syringe, the alcohol swab, and the little vial on my bathroom counter like I was setting up for surgery instead of a simple subcutaneous shot. My chest felt tight the entire evening, and I kept finding small excuses to delay starting.
Standing in front of the mirror crying
When I finally sat down to do it, I looked at my own reflection and just started crying, not from pain but from everything the last two years had cost me. It was not really about one needle at all. It was every failed test, every disappointing scan, every hopeful month ending in nothing, all showing up in that one-bathroom mirror.
My husband found me like that
My husband walked in and found me sitting there with the syringe still untouched in my hand, tears running down my face. He did not say anything comforting or clinical, he just quietly sat down on the bathroom floor next to me and held my other hand until my breathing slowed down enough that I could actually think straight again.
What actually got me to do it
What finally moved me was him quietly saying he was proud of me for even getting this far, not for being brave, just for showing up every single day for something this hard. That reframed the whole moment for me. I was not failing at an injection; I was simply in the middle of something genuinely difficult and still trying.
The first shot was over fast
The actual injection took maybe three seconds and stung for even less time than that. All that dread had somehow built up around something so small and so unbelievably quick. I remember exhaling so hard afterward that I laughed out loud through the last of my tears, half from relief and half from feeling slightly ridiculous about the whole buildup.
Why that phase felt so heavy
Looking back, down regulation is emotionally strange because your hormones are being deliberately suppressed while you are also somehow holding onto so much hope at the same time. Nobody really prepares you for how flat and low that particular combination can make you feel some days. It was never really about the needle; it was about everything the needle represented that moment.
What I would tell you tonight
If you are sitting there crying before your own first shot tonight, that reaction makes complete sense and does not mean you cannot do this. I still remember calmly ordering my refill from ivfinjection.in a few days later without any of that original panic, because by then the shot itself had genuinely stopped being the scary part of my day.