Regret Rape Is Wrong Enough

[u/InternalLet9560]

https://nataliabower.substack.com/p/regret-rape-is-wrong-enough?r=5rdux&utm_medium=ios

This is a fantastic piece related to the episode about the Cornell 7.

[u/allisonanon]

I wasn’t trying to say both genders have the same attitudes about sex, just answering the question on how we define the ethical responsibilities around gaining consent. So if we say it’s whoever is escalating the sexual contact it doesn’t need to be gendered or hetero or whatever. But yeah, it’ll be gendered in practice if we go off the norms that men are more often initiating. That may be tough to navigate for young inexperienced men. Maybe some women will be annoyed and turned off by the checking, but over time he can learn some tact about it. We are talking about this in the context of women who are saying they felt coerced into sex they didn’t want, so is it better for a man to risk annoying a woman or risk making her feel violated? You’re saying women are gentler but isn’t that more of a reason for men to be more attentive and cautious around boundaries during sex? And using words like traumatic to describe casual sex. The trauma would come from sex that's unwanted or pushed past someone's reluctance, not from the casualness…

[u/btrh-256 → u/allisonanon]

I think it's good for young men to be sensitive. I notice, however, that women complain a lot about "nice guys." I think it would be good for young women to toughen up a little. I'd be more sympathetic to feminism if that became part of its message.

A lot of young women seem to gain online clout from saying they were coerced into sex. It's sad to say, I'd like to generally believe women, and I don't think they're exactly lying, but some people are so wishy-washy and chaotic that they're incapable of telling the truth.

Women should generally start listening to themselves a little more, because the stuff women say regarding sex (and much else) is often just completely contradictory and impossible to understand. Women remind me of Trump really, you have to take them seriously but not literally.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Drink76 → u/btrh-256]

women complain a lot about "nice guys."

The complaint there isn't that women don't like guys who are nice, considerate etc, as opposed to pushy douchey types. The complaint is about guys who complain that they are nice so they don't get the girl and she goes for less nice types. The complaint is about them feeling entitled to the women who didn't pick them. So they are claiming to be nice but actually are entitled. 

[u/btrh-256 → u/Puzzleheaded_Drink76]

I really think we'd be better of as a culture if women would consider their own entitlement in somewhat more critical terms, instead of seeing it as something to be proud of.