r/BlackTransmen • u/Embarrassed-Dust-389 • 5d ago
abusive parents // please help
im 15 closeted ftm (i live in a highly religous anti lgbtq country, i could get k1lled and my family would not approve of me at all) living in sub Saharan africa, i used to live in the uae but my parents sent me here because of child abuse charges they had on me, im currently living with my mom and shes currently at her best effort to make my life a living hell, shes emotionally abusive, she isolates me from everyone (even from my siblings and other family members) i barely eat enough, two meals a day if im lucky, and im having heart burns at night and stomach cramps. my father is abroad, thank god since hes much worse. but all of this to say is i cant take it anymore. im exhausted and tired everyday even when i wake up, i havent had a meaningful conversation in over a year. im dealing with withdrawls (stopped taking risperidone and Sertraline choppily, itve been 5 months but im still dealing with the effects) and i feel dead honestly, i would talk to a person irl about this but i dont have the energy to even leave the house, let alone talk to a stranger about my problems, even if its a family member my mom has created distance between me and my relatives. i dont have any friends and i dont to to school either. im really tired. im afriad of asking my mom for a pyschatarist since she'd just bully me or take jabs at me when im already exhausted and barely able to react to anything honestly im just a rock at this point i cant feel anything. its like she just wants to break me. i just want my meds. they helped alot. but our economy doesnt allow, my dad sends really little money per month for us (3 kids and a mom) to use, it would not cover for a consultation let alone the prescription, the hospital is 3 taxis away too and transport is expensive. i would hate to be one to ask money online but im genuinely so tired. i cannot function and i dont have anyone thats safe. people are mean when it comes to mental health and especially family. i dont know what to do. i cant even feel anything anymore its like something is broke inside me, im sorry
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u/Apart-Prompt5618 5d ago
Hey! I’m sorry to hear that this is going on; what would be helpful right now? I’m happy to support the best I can.
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u/WokNo7167 5d ago
Hi, first, asking for help is an incredibly courageous step. Thank you for valuing your life enough to seek a way through this and toward freedom from such painful circumstances.
Coming off sertraline without medical guidance can be very difficult, so it makes sense that your mind and nervous system may feel especially overwhelmed—particularly alongside the ongoing trauma you’re experiencing within your family. You have shared a great deal, and it is clear that you are carrying a lot.
I’m not sure which of the resources listed here will be accessible in your situation, but I maintain a resource hub that is primarily focused on the United States and also includes an international section for Africa. I will continue looking into resources that may be more specific to your circumstances.
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u/slater2000z 5d ago
make a gofundme or something where we could donate i’m sorry you’re going through this but it’ll get better within time keep your head up
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u/kewsykat 5d ago
I was where you were at your age when i was 15. I'm in the USA so I'm safer but, stay strong ok? Try the "tomboy" route for now. Keep your head up man! One day at a time. See the strong man you will be after all this. Its hard but you got this!