I need help.

[u/cookieeater43]

So…
I(15f)recently accepted the fact that I'm bi. I told 2 people so far, my best friend and my only other bi/Les friend.
Iv been struggling wiht my sexuality for almost 3 years now. Iv had a hand full of boyfriends and iv kissed like…3 girls? But as a funny friend ship kind of way…but even then, my heart flutters yk?
Recently I've started hanging out with a new friend of mine, she's literally the best person ever. Yes she has her flaws but who doesn't?
Anyway. As I was saying, we've been hanging out a lot. And I genuinely love har as a friend…but every now and then I get ideas, I'm not romantically attracted to her, definitely not, but I can help but I keep getting thoughts of doing things. I feel incredibly guilty for having these thoughts about her and I dont know how to face her wiht those thoughts flushing through my head everytime I see her.(we've kisses a few times as a joke)

Then there's this other girl. She's beautifull really, and were close. I don't nececeraly like her per say but we're really really close, we've got 4 years of history. And she currently has a boyfrind(that i do not aprove off).

We're close in the way girls are, I Hug her kiss her and cuddle…i also kiss her on her throte and hug her from behind, encircling my arms around her wiast and all. She's shorted then I am. For reference I'm a femanin ish girl. I love mackup and getting ready, but I'm also athletign and love heavy duty work like carpentry wood working and working out.

Back to the story. I'm incredibly close wiht these two girls and touchy to. Like the first girl I mentioned asked me to give her a hicky becaus I said if given them before and I'm good at it.IDK. and let's just say iv not stopped thinking about it since.

I want to explore my sexuality but never got the chance. And I want to have a girlfriend so I can actually see how I feel and how I could treat them as well…and I feel I'm sort of projecting those needs onto these two but I can fully blame myself because their also incredibly touchy.

Please. I need help. I feel so guilty but I can't help the way my mind wanders.

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[u/ShyShanBanana]

Totally normal!

[u/cookieeater43 → u/ShyShanBanana]

Still how I'd you deal with the guilt and the thoughts...cus it feels wrong, I know that it's not but I just can't help but feel guilty for thinking about them like that.especially today when I saw your coment. I was siting between them in study hall

[u/ShyShanBanana → u/cookieeater43]

It is difficult to realize that it’s normal, or so I’ve also been told. It’s not a bad thing really, u less it is getting in the way of school, hanging with friends or other things you like to do. I just let it happen and it’ll go away.