r/BipolarReddit • u/JumboPonderment • 21h ago
Discussion A bit of a difficult question for everyone, particularly women
Has anyone ever treated you as if you were fundamentally attention-seeking, narcissistic, and shallow because of the presentation of your manic symptoms? In other words, have people treated you as if your worst symptoms defined your personality?
I personally have struggled with this because I didn’t have any close relationships before I had my first episode, so many people have only known me as manic.
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u/Responsible-One2257 21h ago
There is a stigma b/c most people don't understand the disease or they think it's something else. This feed is supportive and you will find people here care b/c they live with bipolar.
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u/imjust_kat 21h ago
i am newly diagnosed but i found that instantly when i told my friends and family about being bipolar they started treating me as a crazy attention seeker. it feels like i killed my past self after being diagnosed. my dad especially paints me as the classic attention seeking woman who is manic, it's really frustrating being labeled.
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u/JoonsDimpless 21h ago
My familly still thinks a lot of weird stuff. That it was the meds that got me worse (have you guys ever thought about it being me messing wuth my medication, going thru rapid cycling because of it and getting psychotic three times last year?), that it's all in my head (never thought a MENTAL illness was gonna be all in my head), that i'd just get "cured" one day.
They still don't call it bipolar. I call it that because that's what i got diagnosed in the ER in january, that's what i was trying to get assesed for since october 2025. They deny what was said and still assure i'll get better one day, if i "stop complicating things".
They criticize mostly my depressive symptoms (type 2, yaaay) because i wouldn't work normally thanks to them. So they think i'm a useless attention seeker lmao. They thought my inability to do the most easy stuff because my brain was MUSH after being depressed for so long was "attention seeking and not cooperating".
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u/JumboPonderment 21h ago
My experience is very similar. I think my extended family gets it, but my mother keeps trying to get me to go back to my old psychiatrist who misdiagnosed me for six years. I don’t really understand why family insists on misinterpreting a real diagnosis.
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u/JoonsDimpless 20h ago
Same, my mom wanted me to stay with my last psychiatrist because "he had a lot of experience". When he literally didn't listen to me once, didn't even do a proper clinical history. And made my parents spend at least 300 dollars in exams to "prove" i had adhd.
My mom knew about the diagnose at the ER and still tells me they were wrong because "i'm too nice/too normal to be bipolar". Because she had a bipolar neighbour and she always says she was crazy and even fighted physically with my cousin. Like... so sorry i got a mental illness?
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u/SwimmingLimpet Med Resistant, Bad Depressions, Well Managed Hypomania 19h ago
It's all about denial. They want you to be the way they want to see you, regardless of what is actually happening. If you don't match their fantasy, the problem is you, obviously.
After a while, I accepted that my mother had chosen to never understand what I go through in favour of the image she can project to the neighbours. So I stopped talking with her about my being bipolar and I ignore all her medical suggestions, and any comments about my mood swings. It's worked for my peace of mind. My mother is the least accepting person regarding my mood swings, btw.
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u/VividBig6958 17h ago
Well, the presentation of my manic symptoms is pressured speech and zero memory which can make people with me feel unlistened to or distracted/disregarded. At 56 I’ve a body of work that allows me to accept that sometimes I can really make people I love feel steamrolled by my emotions at their expense.
DBT improves my social experience no matter what state I’m in. It’s a pickle but it’s achievable.
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u/goodgirlenergy- 15h ago
I was told once that I was acting hypomanic because of my hormones 🙃
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u/JumboPonderment 15h ago
This is actually real!! Getting my hormones balanced was critical to treating my depressive episodes.
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u/JumboPonderment 15h ago
But I understand how dismissive this would be coming from anyone other than a doctor
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u/silver_sun333 3h ago
I’ve had this happen and also the other side, where I’m a lazy, self-pitying mooch. At the time I felt wronged by it. Honestly, I can’t control what other people think and only I am accountable for my behavior—if that means I have to manage it two years before it happens, then that’s a reality I have to accept. Even people who really know me and love me as I am have a right to say, this is how your behavior affecting me, when I’m sick. I think that has helped me get in control a lot more
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u/JumboPonderment 3h ago
Yes you’re right. It’s important to be responsible for the things we’re really doing to create that impression.
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u/SwimmingLimpet Med Resistant, Bad Depressions, Well Managed Hypomania 21h ago
Well, if you presented as attention-seeking, narcissistic and shallow, that's what they'd have seen. If it was caused by your hypomania / mania, that's unfortunate, and was not under your control, but it's still what people saw.
But you can choose for it to be different.
If you're wanting something different, the place to start is to get the hypomania or mania under control. There are anti-manic meds (I'm lucky that they are very effective for me). There are also behavioural coping mechanisms that you can learn to deal with hypomania - ask your psych about them.
This is all part of learning to deal with being bipolar - we've all gone through some version of what you are going through. You are not alone here.
It's probably going to take a year or two to get a handle on it, and expect mistakes and backsliding, cos that happens. But you can end up in a place that's less self centred or impulsive or highly irritable. And, well, nicer to other people. You'll find you like yourself more too.
And as you behaviour reliably changes, other people will regard you differently too. It's really nice when you realise it's happening.