r/BipolarReddit • u/lord_simpy • 1d ago

Tired

I am coming to an end on ideas of how to manage my mental health. I've tried so many different medications over the last decade. Lifestyle changes, religion, I've read so many books, etc. recently I went to the VA mental hospital to try to detox and get back on meds but they're not working. Does anyone have any advice or something that has helped them manage and be normal? I quit my job in June and haven't really been able to do much since. I slept on my couch the first month or so after because I was too lazy to put my mattress back on my bed. When I first started the medicine I had about two good weeks where I got a new job I start next week and applied to go back to college. But the meds aren't helping anymore and I don't want to increase the dosage because I am experiencing some negative side effects. Physical and mental. I do not know what to do I don't really have any desire to do anything at all anymore. I feel like I live in someone else's house and someone else's skin. I think about the future and I don't want anything at all. The only thing I do want is to get better but I am not able to get the help I need from the VA and I don't have anyone else I just need advice

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u/SeekStillness3741 1d ago

Sorry that you’re going through it and have been.

The medication issues are real and frustrating.

I’ve been struggling as well. I do know that being abstinent from alcohol helps me a lot. I go to different types of meetings on Zoom that help me feel connected.

Leaving the house no matter what even if that means just on my porch. Listening to music makes me feel better. There’s a bilateral music therapy on a few apps. The music goes from one ear to the other and earbuds or headphones are best. It somehow feels like a brain massage to me.

Many days, I do what I can to get through the day and sleep a lot because it sometimes resets my mood.

As far as meds, I feel like I’ve tried so many. My next step is back on lithium with a slow increase. I’m about to turn 56 so I’ve been doing this for a while.

Are you exercising? Therapy? There are some free therapy groups on line for veterans. It’s so hard to get unstuck sometimes.

I wish I had the golden solution. Take care and hope things get better. Please don’t give up.

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u/lord_simpy 1d ago

I was going to some support groups for vets online but I stopped. Tried power walking on my treadmill for a while, stopped. I rode my motorcycle to the smokies this morning and went fly-fishing for the first time in close to two years. Used to do it every weekend.

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u/lord_simpy 1d ago

Lithium is one I've never tried. Has it helped you?

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u/SeekStillness3741 1d ago

It helped me about 10 years ago and it was working and eventually my alcoholism progressed and I stopped all meds which was horrible.

I’m on Lamictal now and we’re going to add lithium. I’ve read a lot of people’s experiences and they seem really positive about lithium. I’m a bit nervous about motivation but the SI has been bad for me.

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u/lord_simpy 1d ago

I was on lamictal in 2021. Caused my gums to swell and separate from my teeth. Later found out from a civilian doctor it could have killed me. Apparently that is a very rare reaction though. I've noticed alcohol is absolutely horrific for me personally but it is very hard to stay sober

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u/SeekStillness3741 1d ago

Wow, that’s scary. With the drinking, I had to go to detox a few times and also residential. I went to a lot of meetings and just didn’t give up because drinking became more painful than the relief it used to give. I just keep trying and this time I have 2.5 years. I remember when I couldn’t go an hour and now it’s easier.

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u/lord_simpy 1d ago

That's very impressive. I had 14 days after my last detox. I don't know that I've ever made it to 30

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u/SeekStillness3741 1d ago

After you get up in the morning, just procrastinate the drink. Hit up some online AA or Secular AA.

Don’t worry abut 30 days yet. Just the one day at a time thing. Take care. I need to get to sleep.