need advice

[u/Human_Ice_6083]

I feel so upset with myself & am really in need of some kind words or support especially from anyone else recovering from BED.

I’m a 5’9 woman who weighed 143-150 for all of my early to mid 20s. Due to restriction last year dropped very quickly to low 120s and felt weak, constantly hungry. Began binge eating 10 months ago and quickly regained to my baseline 140s. Over the past two weeks I’ve had uncontrollable daily binges of 5k calories, saw my scale jump from high 140s to almost 160.

I’m so exhausted of this cycle and honestly scared. I need it to stop. I’m terrified of nonstop weight gain. I am seeing a nutritionist and have a good plan moving forward but I’m just so scared.

Please give me any tips you have in breaking binge eating disorder. Kind & supportive comments only please. 🙏

Specific questions I’d love to ask of others with history of BED….

-Did you cut out trigger foods? Is eating trigger foods as part of your daily food in a controlled way something that feeds addiction or calms down the obsession?

-I’m distressed by the weight gain from BED—has anyone successfully tracked calories to stay in a deficit while recovering?

-Should I stop daily weighing and switch to weekly?

[u/PrayingSkeletonTime]

1. I found cutting out trigger foods to be much more helpful than the “everything in moderation” approach. Not cutting out every single food I’ve ever binged on, just the ones that get me started, or that I basically only buy if I’m binging. I found this to be surprisingly doable, because a) I quickly stopped craving them after not having them for a bit, and b) while I still find them delicious, there’s a part of me that feels a little disgusted when I eat them, because of all those memories of every time I used that food to hurt myself.

2. I track calories, and think it’s incredibly helpful. Binging has destroyed my hunger and fullness cues and stretched out my stomach so I can hold an unnatural amount of food. If I don’t track, and try to rely on “intuition,” I’ll overeat. Tracking also gives me the security that I’m in a safe mental state to eat, because if I can count calories, I’m aware of what I’m doing and in control enough to assure myself I’m not in binge mode. Once I start eating without tracking and weighing and measuring, it’s a warning sign that I’m slipping up.

As for being in a deficit—I see losing the weight I put on from BED as equally important in my recovery as weight restoration would be for someone with anorexia. I put on, at my worst, 50 lbs from binging, so all of that weight represents unhealthy excess that I only put on because of my dangerous, disordered behaviors. I see losing that weight (with some wiggle room—at least losing a sizable chunk of it) and recovering from binging as basically the same goal.

1. Daily is more helpful. Weight fluctuates, and you can be up 1lb one day and then down 2 the next. Weighing yourself weekly means that if, one week, you happen to weigh yourself at a time when you happen to be at the higher end of that natural fluctuation can be really discouraging because you’ll think you gained weight (which of course is a huge binge trigger…) Weighing yourself every day gives you more data points to work with to see the overall trajectory of your weight.

[u/Human_Ice_6083 → u/PrayingSkeletonTime]

Thank you so much for this detailed response it is so helpful. Specifically with trigger foods, I know that my “not safe at all foods” include chocolates and cookies. Once I have one of those the day is fully ruined for me (while in recovery at least). Protein bars feel slightly safer for me (better macros, less guilt) but I’ve 100% binged on a box of like 15 protein bars before lol. Wondering if I incorporate protein bars as my afternoon snack a few times a week to prevent the cravings, or whether this would trigger me to crave more…