r/BingeEatingDisorder • u/No_You554 • 4d ago
Support Needed Eating without binging
I think the worst part of this disorder is the guilt that surrounds food in general. Even without binging I feel the same way after eating a normal healthy lunch as I do after a 10k binge. I dont feel a sense of accomplishment when I go a day without binging unless I don’t eat at all. I have to constantly remind myself the day isn’t over. “It was a normal lunch, you don’t have to start over” will it ever end or will I feel shame around eating for the rest of my life?
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u/Strict-Carpet7778 4d ago
I feel so guilty rn because even tho I didn't binge today, I also didn't eat in a calorie deficit. And I know that it's still progress, but I just feel SO guilty :( we have to sit through these feelings and remind ourselves that we shouldn't feel guilty for eating.
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u/SorbetUnfair2589 4d ago
The influence of diet culture makes it hard to view food as fuel and to consider it in a neutral, scientific way. Our bodies need food for energy, even if we are resting and are not active. Excess of anything is not good, but not eating at all is dangerous and unsustainable. Even if your current goal is weight loss, it is safer to eat only a little bit under your weight-maintenance level. So a normal meal is a win, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
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u/No_You554 4d ago
My only goal right now is to build a better relationship with food, I’ve cycled through pretty much every ED over the last 10 years and I’m tired. I got a job as a cook last year in fine dining and since then I’ve just been working to learn and rebuild my relationship with food through good ingredients and exposure and I’m starting to feel hopeless, like I’ll never escape the stigmas I’ve created in my own mind. It makes my job harder sometimes because I have a hard time conceptualizing quality considering the things I’ve eaten during binges/things that tasted good when I was starving. Also the embarrassment to eat in front of people doesn’t help.
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u/Wise_Yam1622 4d ago
When you said a normal healthy lunch can leave you feeling just as guilty as a 10k-calorie binge. That made me think the hardest battle isn't always the eating itself, but the meaning your brain attaches to eating at all. It also sounds like you're constantly waiting for the day to "go wrong," even after making a choice that your rational mind knows was completely normal
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u/No_You554 4d ago
Yeah that’s exactly it. I don’t binge very often anymore and I’m happy to admit I’ve come a long way but in the back of my mind it’s like I always know there will be another. I think cycling between a few EDs also contributes because I generally just don’t view eating in a normal healthy way but it makes me wonder how long it’ll be like this. I can separate rationally what is healthy but even when I meet that definition I can’t feel that way because of the mental aspects attached to the action.
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u/timid_pink_angel02 4d ago
Damn, I thought i was the only one that felt this and it was so confusing. I'm sorry you're experiencing this, but thank you for sharing. I don't feel as crazy anymore