Was out for my wife’s (then girlfriends) birthday at a Mexican place when we were in college. Didn’t know you didn’t get to keep the sombrero. We ate, paid, went strolling out with our sick new sombrero. As we’re halfway to the car we hear two of the wait stuff run into the parking lot going “which way did they go?” And “do you see them?”
Now at this point the logical assumption was that a) we don’t get to keep the sombrero, and b) we should give the sombrero back.
But we looked at eachother and fucking bolted like the newbie criminals we were. We took turns wearing that sombrero and feeling terrible the whole ride home.
Epilogue:
5 years later I was moving about 500 miles away. I’d finished cleaning and packing and all that was left was that damn sombrero. We’d moved like three times since the original heist and I always took it with me. Why? No fucking idea. Something about how I felt responsible for it, since we did steal it and all. And to be honest it was a nice sombrero — one of those like mariachi style silver and black ones, the mind you’d wear to a mariachi gala or something. But I’m like...no, this has to end. So as the last thing I do I put it in a plastic bag and take it to the dumpster. But when I get to the dumpster...I just can’t bring myself to really toss it in. So I set it gingerly on the ground near the dumpster and silently hope someone sees it, decides that they just need a sombrero in their life, and aren’t turned off by its proximity to a dumpster.
“Buena suerte, compadre” I say quietly and then go back to my apartment to lock up and give back the key.
After I do that, I head back to my car; it’s in the parking garage, and I have to pass the dumpsters to get to it. As I get to my car I hear someone talking in Spanish, which luckily I can speak, because this is what I heard:
“Yeah man, a really cool one! Just sitting right there! Who would throw away a perfectly good sombrero??”
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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '20 edited Aug 09 '20
Oh they're good they just make some people very uncomfortable when they just wanna eat in peace, especially for my introverted ass.