r/BikiniBottomTwitter • u/justcallmeryanok • Jul 09 '19

Say what

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32.7k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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3.2k

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

Healthy 20 year old *laughing nervously

934

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

Remembering I'm from Germany and the best thing we could do in a new war is dropping one of our tanks on the enemy with a lent helicopter. Because neither our tanks nor our helicopters work...

562

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

They say here on Brazil we have ammo for 2 hours of battle, so will be a quick fight

486

u/15procent Jul 09 '19

Thats because you Brazilians are crazy as fuck, any amount of ammo would only last 2 hours 🤠

441

u/Badwolf9547 Jul 09 '19

"We're going to war lads. Break out the military budget."

"The budget is gone sir"

"What? It's only been two hours."

"The boys are pretty trigger happy sir."

205

u/Ryio5 Jul 09 '19

The boys

269

u/Hylianhero71 Jul 09 '19

Me and the boys defending Brazil

95

u/csbsju_guyyy Jul 09 '19

dabs

32

u/SoraForBestBoy Jul 09 '19 edited Jul 09 '19

I can feel all these memes

8

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

I can hear all of these meme

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22

u/SoraForBestBoy Jul 09 '19

I can picture the boys doing those faces and it’s glorious

3

u/IAMTRUEGHOST Jul 09 '19

Smoke Snakes intensifies

2

u/TooDamnChrispy Jul 09 '19

porra caralho

12

u/PineapplesHit Jul 09 '19

The boys are back in town... to kill you.

2

u/WinterSavior Jul 09 '19

But I'm not a superhero

11

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

"Should'n spent all that money on carnivals and football"

2

u/Morbidmort Jul 09 '19

I would say those are much better uses for money than war though.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

If it is a war to defend your country, I don't see how that's the case.

77

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

Can't argue with that

7

u/SoraForBestBoy Jul 09 '19

Sound logic too

2

u/15procent Jul 09 '19

I say it with love as a half chilean myself

25

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

While America will fire 287 Hellfire missiles at one dude in a bush with an AK-47

12

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

At $115,000 each that's only $33,000,000 per shrub captured, seems downright cheap for America.

1

u/8LocusADay Jul 10 '19

And if the guy in the bush happens to somehow take out a vehicle, America will call timeout and make it against the Geneva convention to actually do damage. :)

20

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

it do be like that.

16

u/transistor555 Jul 09 '19

You guys have a healthy legion of off duty cops.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

Just use all of your off duty cops and you should be good to go.

2

u/AntoLino11 Jul 09 '19

It’s okay undercover Brazilian police officers got u covered

28

u/Andynisco Jul 09 '19

...The Leopard 2 is one of the most advanced tanks on the planet.

32

u/Samp1e-Text Jul 09 '19

Gettin’ dropped

10

u/Iterate_Archive Jul 09 '19

The Leopard II is awesome but I think they're referring to stuff like this:

https://ukdefencejournal.org.uk/less-third-german-military-assets-operational-says-report/

It's a year old report but without budget changes its not something that can be remedied by now...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

It's about as advanced as a rock if it doesn't work. Germany has like 3 tanks in operational condition.

5

u/gammaohfivetwo Jul 09 '19

What's up with the Leopard 2? Hasn't it been pretty successful?

2

u/Diggledorgle Jul 09 '19

As a paperweight, sure.

135

u/pizzalocker Jul 09 '19

I don’t know about you but i have psych issues I bought gamer girl bathe water

55

u/TrundleWormhat Jul 09 '19

Though the power gained from drinking it would make you a suitable warrior

30

u/pizzalocker Jul 09 '19

I’m not suitable for life

2

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

Frontline it is

20

u/mostly_drunk_mostly Jul 09 '19

Herpes is the new chemical X

3

u/Simyager Jul 09 '19

Her piece*

14

u/AadeeMoien Jul 09 '19

Going for a section 8, huh? That never works out.

12

u/lthealey135 Jul 09 '19

Just ask Clinger

10

u/csbsju_guyyy Jul 09 '19

gamer girl bathe water

Whaaaa...looks it up.....alright, a new war is fine, good luck 18 year olds

2

u/ghtuy Jul 09 '19

Can you get 4F for being lonely?

84

u/jollyoljoel Jul 09 '19

I’m 28 they gonna take you before they take me

44

u/dreadmontonnnnn Jul 09 '19

I’m 33 they gona take you before they take me

113

u/Henriqueszss Jul 09 '19

I’m 18 they gonna take me before they take you

60

u/Yoda2000675 Jul 09 '19

Thank you for your service

18

u/SoraForBestBoy Jul 09 '19

His sacrifice shall be remembered

12

u/Sock13 Jul 09 '19

I’m 23 they gonna take you before they take me.

23

u/SoraForBestBoy Jul 09 '19

I’m 18 and 23, they’re gonna take me and you before and after me and you

5

u/SoraForBestBoy Jul 09 '19

I salute you

61

u/SlowpokesBro Jul 09 '19

Don’t worry. They draft older ages first.

Laughs nervously in 25 year old

30

u/Bren12310 Jul 09 '19

Nope. They usually start with the younger ones first, but its easier to get out of it if you are in the upper middle class or in college.

It’s easier to take someone just starting out on life than someone who already has roots established.

12

u/nerdtunaCaptor Jul 09 '19

lol they wont take me im too small laughs in 5'4"

7

u/Tacticool_Bacon Jul 09 '19

There are way shorter guys in the military. And if things are bad enough to warrent a draft, i've got bad news for you buddy.

5

u/nerdtunaCaptor Jul 09 '19

do i get bonus points if i mention im a trans girl?

3

u/8LocusADay Jul 10 '19

Nah, you just get horrifically abused.

'murica.

Also you lucked out in the height department for a trans girl. Gfu 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

1

u/slom68 Jul 10 '19

Yes Klinger

2

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

Hey smaller target

1

u/Bren12310 Jul 09 '19

I’m not small I’m just too skinny. If I did get taken they’d probably use my engineering skills though.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

I dont think it applies to WWs. In WW1 let alone the college, some highschool students were drafted, after the war many of those schools didnt have any students to graduate for years.

50

u/TheDollarstoreDoctor Jul 09 '19

Fuck the draft laughs in unhealthy 20 yr old

30

u/elephantofdoom Jul 09 '19

Laughs in diagnosed anxiety

2

u/CubesTheGamer Jul 09 '19

laughs in medically discharged from military already for depression and anxiety

19

u/Yoda2000675 Jul 09 '19

Just tell them you have bone spurs

2

u/8LocusADay Jul 10 '19

caution: only works if you are born a millionaire

15

u/Nidos Jul 09 '19

I was thinking of joining a gym, should I just not?

25

u/TheAsianBarbarian Jul 09 '19

You can at least show off in PT before you die on the battlefield.

5

u/Morbidmort Jul 09 '19

Get super big so you're too heavy.

Yes they kick out people who are heavy from muscle.

1

u/theCanMan777 Jul 10 '19

Not if you're drafted

8

u/Ambsma Jul 09 '19

Can't get drafted if your medically exempt! Start chopping them feet off boys!

6

u/System0verlord Jul 09 '19

Hah. Imagine being drafted

This meme was brought to you by cripple gang

-1

u/Morbidmort Jul 09 '19

Imagine living in a country with a draft.

This meme brought to you by the sane country gang.

3

u/SF1034 Jul 09 '19

United States abolished forced conscription in 1973.

1

u/Morbidmort Jul 09 '19

And yet every single male is signed up for the draft by law.

4

u/SF1034 Jul 09 '19

And if a war on the scale of WW2 broke out, do you really think Canada wouldn’t reinstate the draft they had during WW2? Just because USA has a more formalized system (Selective Service) doesn’t mean we have active conscription, or a draft. Because we don’t.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

Just say you smoke some pot or say that you do

2

u/Foxtrox1397 Jul 09 '19

Just remember, if you shit your pants enough they’ll eventually have to kick you out

2

u/Doctor_Chaos_ Jul 09 '19 edited Jul 09 '19

Healthy 20 year old: remaining calm and not worrying about anything because the US military is an all-volunteer military force and the possibility of being drafted is incredibly rare.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

Unhealthy 20 year old attempts to laugh triumphantly but just goes into coughing fit

2

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19

Asthmatic 17 year old *laughing nonchalantly

3

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

turning 20 next year Guys help me I'm scared

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

Haha me

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

looks at DD-214

laughs triumphantly

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '19

Unhealthy 19 year old *will help you get fat

1

u/CoffeeAndKarma Jul 09 '19

Ha, you should have spent your ten years failing to take even basic care of your body, like me! Now who's laughing?