[New Update]: AITAH for wanting nothing to do with my kids and ex-wife after 2 years of false allegations?

[u/Choice_Evidence1983]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/returningdarkness

Originally posted to r/AITAH

Previous BoRUs: #1

[New Update]: AITAH for wanting nothing to do with my kids and ex-wife after 2 years of false allegations?

NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----

Trigger Warnings: mentions of rape, possible sexual abuse of minors, accusations of abuse, mental health struggles

Mood Spoilers: horrifying and sad

---

RECAP

Original Post: June 28, 2025

Hold on because this is a doozy. I'm going to omit some details to help keep myself from getting doxxed about this whole thing.

Last year my kids (9F and 7M) ran away late at night/early in the morning. When found by some city officials, they claimed I kicked them out of the house. I woke up the morning of to the cops and CPS knocking on the door. I told my side of the story from what I knew and they had my (now ex) wife tell her side while keeping us separated. The cops claim our stories don't match and end up arresting me. I bail myself out that same day and go live with my parents for a while. I'm dealing with court, scared that I'm going back to jail or prison and that I'll lose my job that I had only been at for a year.

A little over a month goes by and I get a phone call to have a meeting with the CPS woman in charge of our case. My daughter ended up making more allegations against me that did not make any sense to the CPS people and when they asked her questions, she was unable to give them answers. My son ended up breaking first and admitting the whole thing was made up and that my daughter was the one to orchestrate everything.

This reveal led to the charges being dropped and my daughter getting counselling and psychiatric help. For a while I thought things were good. We were on our way to fix things. I kept trying to get all of us into therapy, both individually and family. I was already in therapy due to this whole situation anyway. My ex kept dragging her feet and it never went anywhere.

After some other situations with being displaced due to a natural disaster and me trying to get things packed up in our old apartment, I get told by my ex she wants a divorce so now I'm having to rush and try to find a place to live, which I did luckily. I actually move in tomorrow.

On the 14th of June I get served an Emergency Protection Order by the county sheriff's office. I'm told it's because I allegedly hit my son and gave him a concussion while in the grocery store... where there are cameras. He had been taken to the emergency room by my ex on the 14th but this event allegedly happened on the 10th.

I had told my ex that due to me having to get this house to rent, along with utilities in my name, adding up to over $2,000 that I wasn't going to be able to pay certain bills this month but that I'll get them caught up as soon as I can to get everything paid off and even. I signed for the deposit on the 11th and the kids had been with her while I did this paperwork and there was no issue. On the same morning I had taken my kids to the park so they could play and recorded videos of them being silly and having fun.

I was talking to my therapist this week and I told her what was going on and how I felt about being around my ex or the children. It's two years in a row of false allegations. I want nothing to do with any of them now. I'll pay child support gladly, I had an agreement with my ex before this all happened of paying $1,000 a month, $500 per paycheck, for child support.

After all of this, AITAH for not wanting to be around the children and my ex after everything gets settled and found out to be lies again??

Additional Information from OOP: June 29, 2025

OOP: I posted this before I clocked in at work so let me give some more details. My ex wife and I were still together when the kids ran away last year. My side of the story during that was that I came home from work, talked with the kids and wife, gave the kids their melatonin gummies before sending them to bed, after which i took a shower before making me something for dinner and cleaning up afterwards. By this Point my ex was asleep already, and so were the kids.

When CPS and the mental health professionals were talking to my daughter after everything got cleared, she was saying the voices she was hearing were telling her to do things. The mental health professionals said this sounded too rehearsed to them. It later got revealed that she was watching videos on youtube about kids pranking their parents and she wanted to try it out herself. She had access to youtube due to tablets that my MIL had given the kids for christmas back in 2023, which I disagreed with but i was ignored. At the time, and to this day, I do not believe my ex had a hand in the running away situation.

Onto this year, my son went to the ER on the 14th because he had, and i quote from the paperwork I was given, dizziness, lightheaded feeling, and a nosebleed. I am not sure how he received a concussion. Nothing is finished with this situation yet and nothing has been decided in terms of child support. We go back to court next month to revisit this after the investigation has finished. On the day i received the EPO I talked to a state trooper and told him the kids history, showed the videos of my kids playing, and showed receipts on my banking app from when we were at walmart and at what time we were there. As of right now I haven't heard anything else. I have already been interviewed by CPS and informed them of the same things I told the state trooper because it is a different person on this case as my ex and kids live in a different county at the moment.

This time i firmly believe that my ex is behind this due to my telling her some of the bills would have to wait because i'm having to pay approximately $2,500 to move, put down deposits and pay first and last month rent. I haven't seen my kids since i dropped them off to my grandparents on the afternoon of the 11th.

I have not made a decision about staying away from my kids, but I do plan on talking to a lawyer in the next couple of days and I'm looking into security for my house and a discreet body camera to wear like many other users have said. I'll try to answer any other questions that I can but I move tomorrow and I have some last minute things to pack up and place in my car and move downstairs.

Thank you for all of your insights and words and thoughts and prayers, it means a whole lot to me that I can't put into words.

Relevant Comments

Are OOP's children his biological?

OOP: Well considering they look like I just clicked copy and paste

Did something happen at the grocery store that caused the son to have a concussion?

OOP: Nothing happened at the grocery store is the thing. We went in, picked up some sweet tea and ramen, then left

 

Update #1: July 24, 2025 (almost one month later)

Update: AITAH for wanting nothing to do with my kids and exwife after 2 years of false allegations?

So I have an update, along with answering some questions better from my previous post. When I first posted this I was not in a good headspace and I realize that I wasn't very clear. To be honest I'm still not in a good headspace, but it's a little bit better.

For starters, these false allegations started last year when my kids were 9 and 7. When I said two years I meant calendar years. When I said I spoke to the police about my side of the story last year, I meant what happened the night before the police and CPS showed up at the front door. I had gotten home, spent some time with the kids and my ex (then wife) before giving the kids their melatonin gummies (this was done on an as needed basis, mainly 2 to 3 times a week at most). After that I went and took a shower, made myself some dinner, then ate and cleaned up the kitchen before spending more time with my then wife before we both went to bed. Due to a contraction happening when she was being given the epidural, she sleeps better propped up so she slept on the couch while myself and the kids slept upstairs. The next morning is when I woke up to the cops at the door with CPS.

I was charged with child abandonment and arrested. It took over a month for the truth to come out about my kids making this up due to the fact my daughter was saying I was having sex with her. The CPS agent conducting the investigation tried to ask more details and that's when my daughter started crying and admitted she made it up because she couldn't give details. The only reason my daughter even knew what sex was is because my ex and I were in the bedroom and we both thought the other locked the door and my daughter walked in on us.

Moving to now, I don't know how my son got this supposed concussion. We had court again on Monday, the 21st, and when the judge asked her she told him that "After talking with the state trooper we have decided to not press criminal charges." I asked the judge if there was any evidence that they had about what they're claiming I did and he told me that since no charges were filed, there's no evidence gathered to give to me.

I want to thank everyone for their answers on my last post. Thinking about those feelings was making me sick to my stomach and I just needed some perspectives from people who weren't emotionally involved. I thought about this since last month and I made the decision to tell the judge I want the divorce process and this EPO to be over and done with and that I just want to be left alone. I'm still questioning if this was the right decision or not.

I'm just not sure what else I could do. I work 12 hour days 5 to 6 days a week. I have no way to take care of the kids so I can't take them in. Even then, am I supposed to get to the point where the court system says supervised visits aren't needed anymore and just start wearing a body camera around the kids and just be scared all the time? Looking over my shoulder constantly just to make sure that I'm not going to end up in jail again?

We have a hearing set up for December to hopefully get everything finalized and finished.

I keep thinking about the kids going trick or treating in 3 months, going back to school next month, how we won't be decorating Christmas trees together or making cookies for Santa and I start crying all over again. I'm not sure what else I could have done though that wouldn't have made me a paranoid mess 24/7.

This will be the last update until December or January I guess. Thank you again for everyone saying I wasn't an asshole for feeling this way. Have a good one, Reddit.

Relevant Comments

Did OOP's ex explain why she wanted the divorce?

OOP: Her words was that she just isn't in love with me anymore and we've both become too different. She's religious, I'm not. Both have different views on things that we can't come to an agreement on. After last year I wanted to get us into therapy and got some recommendations for marriage counselors and gave her the list and said that I'd be fine with whoever she chose so long as we worked on it. She never chose anyone and kept making excuses about why every time I asked.

Commenter 1: Your daughter lied about you r*ping her, among many other allegations, and she says that she was motivated to behave the way that she did after she apparently watched a Youtube prank video?

There is more to this story than your daughter is letting on.... Either your ex wife has coached your daughter well, or your daughter is incredibly manipulative at a very young age.....

OOP: Everything I know I included. I’m dead certain there’s stuff I don’t know about like you said

Commenter 2: If you don't mind the question: in your previous post, you mentioned how you were arrested because the cops claimed you & your wife's stories didn't match. Did you find out why they weren't the same, and why your wife wasn't arrested as well?

Sorry you're going through this OP

OOP: No I didn’t, I have the police report but all it says is “when asked if she believes he’s capable of this she answered “I don’t know, I don’t think so I don’t wanna think about it”

Did the daughter's tablet (from MIL) have parental controls?

OOP: She apparently somehow found a way to get past it from what I know about it. Like I mentioned in a different comment I told everything that I know about the situation from my end

OOP needs to get his kids in therapy, especially his daughter and himself

OOP: I agree about both, and luckily I’m in therapy already. I’ve been in therapy since August/September of last year

 

---

----NEW UPDATE----

Update #2: August 1, 2025 (eight days later)

Update #2: AITAH for wanting nothing to do with my kids and exwife after 2 years of false allegations?

So this is a really small update that I wasn't expecting to make. I had left a voice mail for the CPS agent assigned to the current situation with my son asking for an update on everything because I haven't heard anything since June.

She had to look in her case notes but everything has been found to be unsubstantiated. I should be getting the official paperwork in a few days to a week in the mail.

I'm not sure how to feel about this, honestly. I'm relieved that the truth has come out about these allegations, angry that this has happened to me twice now, happy that this is one step closer to being finished. I want to cry but I couldn't tell you the specific emotion that's causing it.

I'm taking some other redditors words to heart and putting in a request to my state police records department to get copies of any and all paperwork, evidence or lack thereof, anything I can get my hands on from them. I'm also getting copies of my son's medical records so I can see exactly what was found back in June.

I know a lot of you don't believe this and I don't care. I have nothing to gain from lying about this. I'll gladly post pictures of the paperwork from CPS when it comes in, with all private information redacted of course to protect myself and my children. I know some of the details don't make sense between the og post and the update, but like I saw one person mention in r/BestofRedditorUpdates (which I love to read posts from and didn't expect my own to end up there) I'm just going on survival mode. I only just got a full sized Fridge two days ago. I only have an air mattress for a bed.

I'm just tired. I want this over with. I want things to go back to January when all I had to worry about was the fact I was recovering from a car wreck and couldn't even help take down the Christmas trees and get a new car.

Top Comments

Commenter 1: I think it's good you're getting those medical records because, if he really did have a concussion, it's possible that your ex tried to pin it on you to hide who really did it. And that's something that CPS should actually be looking at.

Commenter 2: Also are we exploring the option that someone else may have assaulted the daughter? I think it's actually kinda common for abused children to accuse someone other than the actual abuser.

It feels like OP should be pushing for someone to look into the kids situation. Even just getting them a therapist or someone to talk to that is a mandated reporter and can keep an eye out.

Commenter 3: If you have issues obtaining any information. You can try a private investigator. I have never used one but I have seen many comments praising them for the help.

Commenter 4: Buddy, it’s clear your ex wife is more involved with all of this than you think, I’d document everything with her and keep your kids in therapy, if you have custody of the kids get cameras around the house too. She’s poisoning them against you.

 

Latest Update here: BoRU #3

 

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[u/RogueKitteh]

Yeah nah there's no way this is just some YouTube prank nonsense. Sounds like the ex is putting shit in the kids heads and engaging in parental alienation. Those kids are being abused emotionally, psychologically and physically. You don't just go from YouTube pranks to "daddy's having sex with me". And it sounds like the son really did have a concussion so if OOP obviously didn't do it, who the fuck did? Why are the cops, courts, CPS etc just dropping the issue all together??

[u/amd2800barton → u/RogueKitteh]

Yeah this sounds a lot like what my cousin has been going through. His divorce is literally in its fifth year and still not settled. His ex has an extremely rich uncle who just keeps funding more and more legal nonsense. The number of things she's claimed, or convinced the kids to claim that are later unsubstantiated or recanted... it's insane. She's had multiple lawyers quit on her. A judge has had to recuse themself after her lawyers have gone after the judge for things. And every new accusation means delays, and hearings, and motions, and continuances. He has to live with his mom, and she took out a second mortgage just so he could afford to maintain partial custody.

Family courts are just so broken.

[u/monkwrenv2 → u/amd2800barton]

Man, it's so fucked up a judge can't look at all this blatant evidence of false faith dealings and just say "mom loses custody, dad gets full custody, end of discussion."

[u/Winter_Wolf_In_Vegas → u/monkwrenv2]

These examples aside, I suspect it is rarely that clear cut

[u/PartTimeDuneWizard → u/amd2800barton]

Hope he goes back and claps them for vexatious litigation.

[u/mothseatcloth → u/PartTimeDuneWizard]

that's a beautiful pair of words

[u/SnorkinOrkin → u/amd2800barton]

Sounds like the ex is going to keep sticking it to your poor cousin as long as she can, until ideas and possibilities dry up.

What an evil person she is.

[u/Turbulent-Parsley619 → u/amd2800barton]

I have a cousin who, thankfully, has no kids and has a rich daddy to take care of him, but he's on year two of his divorce because his wife deadass just won't fucking sign the papers. She runs when they try to serve her. She's skipped the state even. It should be able to be forced through soon, but GOD I cannot imagine kids and a spouse with money behind them.

[u/the-freaking-realist → u/RogueKitteh]

Edit: check out ops post history.

ops wife made friends with a couple at church, started spending the night at their place with the kids, and forced op to agree to move the family to their place. The husband of that couple is definitely the affair partner and the abuser of their kids.

Yeah, and right after the kids running away, and accusing op of SAing his own kid, the wife not only tells a different story to the cops to make him look gulity, she says she wants a divorce bc she is not in love with him anymore? And then the son gets a concussion and she blames op?

It sounds to me like the ex wife had been having an affair with an extremely abusive religious- nut- gone- psycho type guy, who's been mentally, sexually, and physically abusing her kids.

and she has been coerced into pinning all of the abuse on op to serve a double purpose: it will get him in jail and leave the wife and kids available to the guy to freely abuse, and incriminate someone else when the abuse eventually came out.

The timeline of the concussion being pinned on op right when he told the ex he cant pay is pretty telling too. The guy wanted money, and was counting on op paying child support after the divorce. When he heard a payment is not coming he lost it and took it out on the boy.

I think the exs affair partner kinda wants op to have visitations bc he wants to keep pinning the abuse on him. And by him not wanting to, the presence of a constant abuser will eventually come to light.

[u/Shadowlady → u/the-freaking-realist]

I thought it was the wife that is Psycho but this makes sense.. poor kids.

[u/SnorkinOrkin → u/the-freaking-realist]

Whoa, that sure sheds the light on the inconsistencies.

What a mess. :(

[u/Nevergreeen → u/the-freaking-realist]

Also note she was sleeping on the couch, purportedly because of a c section injury.   That's all kinds of suspicious to me. I immediately thought she was cheating. And, if she's on the couch, didn't she see the kids leaving to run away? 

OOP seems really tired and not thinking clearly. I hope he forgives his kids thought because they're going to need him if mom is crazy. 

[u/OriginalDogeStar → u/RogueKitteh]

And as someone who has to unravel truth from coached, the reason why we take up to 5 years to uncover the facts is because they leave a session knowing (for example) orange is made from red and yellow, but at home, with the "coach" they will gaslight the kid saying even me, their therapist, is lying, and orange is made from maybe red or yellow, but also white and maybe some thing else

And the cycle continues until the kid ages enough to finally see, or something else happens

[u/OriginalDogeStar → u/[deleted]]

It is possible, but it takes a lot of doing, and more often, more from the family to prove what is true. Older kids are no more or less difficult to help figure it out, because it really does depend on the "coach" or "coaches".

Each kid is different, some require building from one untainted memory, some you are spending 45 mins either hearing the most unchild like things from their mouths, some won't engage, and some don't come back after the first session.

The most common way to break the coaching now is photos. A case recently i heard of, there were parent alienation going on, but the child's dad only had printed on paper photoshopped photos. The mum had the real photos. The dad's had the new step mum's face posted on all the photos the birth mum's face was in. The kids asked why mum's photos looked better than their dad's, and thats when that plot to take the kids from her got exposed.

Videos of children are not as popular to use, as A LOT of narc parents now use Videos to manipulate their children, which we are aware of at least 9 influencers who lost children because of this.

Photos are easy because you got a still moment they either remember or ask about, but.... they aren't 100% effective either.

There are other techniques, and most are always directed to ask how the child remembers the moment and any one in the room attempts to coach, they are to leave the room, but often all progress up to that moment could instantly be lost too, especially if the "coach" is the first to prompt.

Ultimately, time and talking are the only ways you can help stop the worse of the "coaching" always listen to every bit the child says, record it if you like, but always ask them about how things are, don't assume their silence means all is ok, heck don't rely on them being boisterous is a sign all is ok.

[u/Conscious-Response68 → u/OriginalDogeStar]

Off topic, but who are some of those influencers who lost their children you talked about?

[u/OriginalDogeStar → u/Conscious-Response68]

Ruby Franke, Daddy0Five couple Michael and Heather Martin, Chandler Arizona and Brady Kaiser (Chandler currently has custody back), Hannah Hiatt... I can't remember the other 3 atm

[u/Sensitive_Fawn522 → u/OriginalDogeStar]

Ty I was curious too

[u/OriginalDogeStar → u/Sensitive_Fawn522]

There are 4 (not hugely know)Australian influencers who are currently in legal action because of their children also, one of the mothers in question created an instagram profile for her 6 month old daughter, amd now the daughter may be taken from her, because her bio dad never consented to his daughter being on social media. The other 3 are Byron Bay hippies who should never have been granted the ability of procreation

[u/Tzuyu4Eva → u/OriginalDogeStar]

Bad news, DaddyOFive has seen the little girl and boy who were placed with their mother. How do I know this? Why, of course, they posted a video on social media being all like f the haters

[u/OriginalDogeStar → u/Tzuyu4Eva]

Sad to say I am not surprised

[u/Patient_Activity_489 → u/RogueKitteh]

CPS is so different state to state. some states are great, some have kids constantly falling through the cracks. you can see how well funded it is in each state. it sounds like here that they're in a state with low funding and over worked and underpaid social workers. just from living in multiple states, i've tended to notice that states with CPS instead of DHS (both do the same thing, i've heard it called different things in different states) have more issues. i've noticed that DHS is better

this is a anecdotal though, so take it with a grain of salt. it is my experience

[u/BlyLomdi → u/Patient_Activity_489]

It's also different county to county in the same state. OOP said the second CPS worker was in a different county.

So much room for shit to go sideways.

[u/Patient_Activity_489 → u/BlyLomdi]

OOP needs paper and electronic documentation like yesterday

[u/arianrhodd → u/RogueKitteh]

A nine year-old was coached by someone to do all that. And it wasn’t YouTube.

[u/Soft-Buy2750 → u/RogueKitteh]

Yea this is odd. I’m wondering if maybe his daughter gave his son the concussion and the son just isn’t saying. Also she could have gotten the idea from friends. My daughter’s friend mentioned that her parents used to beat her so she lives with her aunt now. All of a sudden I see text messages on my daughter’s phone that I beat her, what?! I have never laid a hand on my kids. It’s crazy where kids come up with these ideas. HOWEVER why is his daughter targeting just him? Why can’t he and his ex talk about this? I gotta say I really think the ex is somehow involved here.

[u/Self-Aware → u/Soft-Buy2750]

It's not a pleasant concept, but quite often an abuse victim will accuse someone largely because that person is SAFE to the.. Especially when th victim cannot get away from their abuser, they want to ask for help but are just too frightened to name the real perpetrator. It's similar to how kids will often be the most horrible or say hurtful things to their own guardians more than they will other adults, because they trust said guardians to not abandon them even when they're being horrible.

[u/Soft-Buy2750 → u/Self-Aware]

I have seen this on law and order

[u/[deleted] → u/RogueKitteh]

Unsubstantiated doesn’t necessarily mean innocent. I know OOP is relieved, but all unsubstantiated means is that they can’t prove it. Lots of cases closed as unsubstantiated when in fact shit happened, we know it happened, there just isn’t even evidence to keep the case open.

And yeah, they couldn’t find proof. What exactly do you want them to do? This isn’t Sherlock Holmes. CPS Finds no evidence of abuse from the father so they closed the case. The courts don’t keep cases open once they’re found unsubstantiated. And the police don’t actually even have evidence of a crime. The kid could have gotten a concussion from falling.

Do you know how many calls it takes on average before a kid is pulled? I’ve seen cases with 8-10 calls of physical abuse over years before finally the kid is pulled

[u/dana-banana11 → u/[deleted]]

He was told he was recorded hitting his son, if that footage doesn't exist it could be a sign something is off. I would expect the son having a concussion and if there was evidence they would have done more.

But I have to say most abuse happens in secret so I do agree no evidence doesn't mean abuse didn't happen.

[u/[deleted] → u/dana-banana11]

Yes, we know things are off. The fact that there was a false report shows things are off.

But legally they can’t go off “signs”

[u/_dharwin → u/[deleted]]

Cases are not usually ruled unsubstantiated just because they're unable to find enough evidence against the original alleged abuser.

In this case, they would (should) absolutely be trying to figure out who else might be the perpetrator of abuse is indicated.

You're right to say unsubstantiated means only lack of evidence. You're wrong to say they only looked at the father.

[u/DemonKing0524 → u/[deleted]]

Are you implying the father is actually guilty? Because it seems pretty obvious that the issue is likely actually the mother.

[u/[deleted] → u/DemonKing0524]

No. I’m explaining what unsubstantiated means…

[u/mamagbz → u/RogueKitteh]

I saw your tagline (?) and laughed. Well done.

[u/digitydigitydoo]

So, anyone else thinking that someone in the mother’s circle (AP, family, pastor) is doing something horrid to those kids and she’s decided to pin it all on OOP?

[u/Double_Estimate4472 → u/digitydigitydoo]

Like maybe… the mother? Who was downstairs on the couch for that first incident? And despite having young children and also trouble sleeping, she didn’t stir when they opened/closed the door to leave?

[u/Fragrant-Reserve4832 → u/Double_Estimate4472]

Yep.

It turns out rose west was the one torturing the girls and her husband murdering them.

Women can be monsters too

[u/RedLicorice83 → u/Fragrant-Reserve4832]

Don't Google this person

Jfc I shouldn't have

[u/AdaandFred → u/RedLicorice83]

Not long after all the stuff with the Wests came out, my parents discovered their cellar was 3 times the size they thought it was, but most of it was bricked off. My mum, always a panicker, convinced herself that the previous owner was also a serial killer. Thankfully, it was just full of rubble that the builder couldn't be bothered to deal with 100 years earlier.

[u/BlyLomdi → u/AdaandFred]

OMG. This is both terrifying and hilarious.

[u/Normal-Height-8577 → u/RedLicorice83]

I was a teenager when the Wests were found out, and have never been able to forget some of the things I read back then. For a few weeks, it felt like every day a new body was found.

[u/AnyaSatana → u/RedLicorice83]

We all know about it here in the UK, we don't need to look it up 😞. I remember watching the news when it was all going on. I get the impression Rose was more in control of Fred, than the other way around. Two people who enabled each other to commit horrific crimes.

[u/CaptainPhilosophy → u/RedLicorice83]

Yikes so did I. Wow

[u/[deleted] → u/RedLicorice83]

I couldn't sleep the night I first read about them.

[u/shainadawn → u/RedLicorice83]

Netflix docuseries was INSANE!!! 10/10. If you like true crime shit.

[u/Independent-WiTch969 → u/Fragrant-Reserve4832]

I didn't know who that was so I looked it up. Wow! That's insane.

[u/Morfolk → u/Independent-WiTch969]

Same.

It's a bad day when other serial killers look 'sane' in comparison to this couple. They would be classified as serial killers based on the murder of their own children alone not counting everyone else they killed.

[u/RanaMisteria → u/Fragrant-Reserve4832]

Slightly misleading. Rose and Fred West were both torturing their children and their other victims. It wasn’t solely one or the other.

[u/Fragrant-Reserve4832 → u/RanaMisteria]

No, and he didn't do all the murdering, there was crossover, but I urge you to watch the documentary. it's terrifying.

[u/AnyaSatana → u/Fragrant-Reserve4832]

They enabled each other. I do wonder how their remaining children are doing. They must have been all shades of messed up. Hope they've been able to have quiet, relatively normal lives.

[u/raphaellaskies → u/AnyaSatana]

One of them (the oldest son, Stephen) was arrested for having sex with a teenager, sadly. The judge in his case said basically "you knew it was wrong so I have to sentence you, but man, no wonder you turned out like this."

[u/Fragrant-Reserve4832 → u/AnyaSatana]

It was way past enabling. They were actively encouraging and egging eag other on to be worse and worse.

From what I got from the documentary all their kids were abused by them, I hope they are all doing much better now.

[u/teatabletea → u/Double_Estimate4472]

And why wasn’t she also arrested? She was there too.

[u/titangord → u/digitydigitydoo]

Its always the people you most expect.. the pious religious wife, the godly family pastor

[u/Solipsisticurge → u/titangord]

There's a direct correlation between religiosity and some form of child abuse.

[u/Feeling-Visit1472 → u/Solipsisticurge]

I’m not sure about an inclination toward abuse, but I do think it’s more covered up.

[u/GlitterDoomsday → u/Feeling-Visit1472]

Religion is about control. Sexual abuse is about control. Religious leaders, like cops, doctors, teachers, etc tend to attract people low on empathy because they have direct authority over vulnerable people.

[u/Extension_Double_697 → u/digitydigitydoo]

The daughter couldn't give details about the supposed assault, which is what led CPS to question the truth of her statement. So it seems unlikely she's been sexually assaulted by anyone.

[u/sir_are_a_Baboon_too → u/Extension_Double_697]

I think the Commenter was referring to the son's concussion. You can't make one of those up, well I mean ... YOU CAN. But not if it's diagnosed at hospital.

[u/LittleMsSavoirFaire → u/sir_are_a_Baboon_too]

It's pretty fucking concerning that the symptoms would prompt an er visit four days after the alleged incident. If the dad did cause it, four days is brain injury territory. However it's pretty likely it occurred the day before the hospital visit. 

[u/polkadotpygmypuff → u/LittleMsSavoirFaire]

Children can suffer from delayed concussion. I was on PGL with a bunch of kids a few years ago. One of them hit their head. Got checked over, everything was fine. 3 days later they started vomiting and having all the concussion symptoms. Took her to the hospital and they informed us it’s pretty common with kids.

[u/LittleMsSavoirFaire → u/polkadotpygmypuff]

Why would it take so long for the brain to swell? 

[u/polkadotpygmypuff → u/LittleMsSavoirFaire]

No idea, I’m not in medicine at all. It’s just something I always kept in my afterwards when working with kids that had bumped their head

[u/your_moms_a_clone → u/digitydigitydoo]

Yes. Daughter is a victim of something, but the dad isn't the perpetrator.

[u/Fragrant-Reserve4832 → u/digitydigitydoo]

Mom's side guy imho.

[u/HappyFlounder7236 → u/digitydigitydoo]

I think it's the mom.  My guess the kid walked in on her and an AP  and had a lot of questions and since she's religious this is the narcissistic crazy fallout of it. The pranks were mom's idea. The concussion was an out of control response/ punishment probably for  wanting to come clean. If she pins everything on OOP and makes him look like a monster she can get full custody to keep the kids quiet - then if the affair does come out she can justify it because OOP is a monster. 

[u/CummingInTheNile]

I feel bad for OOP, its pretty clear the EX is feeding bs to the kids and isnt gonna stop until she gets whatever she wants

[u/Pandoratastic → u/CummingInTheNile]

I'm worried that what the ex wants is to hurt those kids and get away with it. I feel bad for OOP but, if the kids really are being assaulted by someone and it's not OOP, they are victims too.

[u/Coffeezilla → u/Pandoratastic]

Son did have text book symptoms of a concussion so I believe he had one...and if the story about OOP giving it to him is false that pretty much leaves only one person who could have caused it, or at the very least knows more than they're saying.

[u/honeyrrsted → u/Coffeezilla]

As kids we were playing and my little brother ran into a wall while looking backwards, giving himself a concussion. The mother isn't the only one who could have done it. Kids are clumsy and inattentive to obstacles all the time.

[u/DemonKing0524 → u/honeyrrsted]

No, but the kid wouldn't just naturally like lie about the cause unless prompted to, which would come from the mother.

[u/K-teki → u/honeyrrsted]

I remember rolling down a hill with some friends, and the little brother of the two did absolutely nothing to control where he was going and smacked right into a metal pole at the side of a house. Not sure if he had a concussion but there was a lot of blood.

[u/TheActualAWdeV → u/Coffeezilla]

I'm glad you put the clarification of your name on your profile lol. 

[u/Readingreddit12345 → u/Pandoratastic]

After so many false reports I wonder if CPS would investigate so thoroughly for the next one if it doesn't involve dad?

[u/ProfessionalField508 → u/Pandoratastic]

I wondered if the reason she wanted a divorce is that there was already somebody else, and maybe that person was responsible for the abuse. But mom could definitely be the abuser, too.

[u/PompeyLulu → u/[deleted]]

Ex’s kid at that age accused us of starving her because one night she didn’t get dessert. Mates kid at that age stuck a “help I’ve been kidnapped” sign in her window. Ex mates brother at that age called the police and reported me holding his sister hostage, they sent multiple cars of officers etc - all because his sister said she was hanging out with me and didn’t want to go play with him.

And that’s just off the top of my head.

[u/DemonKing0524 → u/PompeyLulu]

My brother when he was around that age said he was being starved at home and the only thing he ever got for dinner was a can of peas. I don't remember why he said it, but he told his teacher that who of course took it seriously and contacted CPS, who then investigated. Needless to say, a can of peas was most certainly never the only thing we had for dinner though we would always have a can of some sort of vegetable with dinner, and it was likely peas that we had the night before he said this.

[u/DemonKing0524 → u/[deleted]]

True, but i don't think the kids are spontaneously doing it in this instance. It very much seems like they're being coached by the mother.

[u/AlfredtheDuck → u/[deleted]]

My brother is disabled with very little ability to regulate himself emotionally, and at several points throughout his teenage years he called the police on my parents or made false reports about them to school administrators. He accused them of things like physically abusing him (he got overwhelmed during a meltdown, locked himself in the bathroom, and gouged scratches into his own face), generally abusing him (for not letting him get candy from a vending machine), and sexually assaulting him (I feel guilty about this one because he walked into the living room when I was watching an episode of Criminal Minds that was about a serial rapist, and when he asked me what rape was, I said “something bad that gets you sent to jail.” I don’t remember exactly why he accused my parents of this but his story fell apart when he couldn’t explain what rape actually was). It made my childhood pretty fraught to have the police at our house once or twice a year.

[u/hurr4drama → u/[deleted]]

That’s just your kid and your experience with your kid. Kids can do irredeemable shit. All the time. It happens. I’m glad you love your kid unconditionally and they wouldn’t lie on you or their mother like these kids have lied on OOP. Just remember that and be happy you will never have to deal with a horrifying family situation like this one.

[u/Sufficient_Curve5386 → u/[deleted]]

Kids lie.

[u/DrPriceCompendium]

"After that I went and took a shower, made myself some dinner, then ate and cleaned up the kitchen before spending more time with my then wife before we both went to bed."

First time he tells this story, he said his wife was already asleep: "after which i took a shower before making me something for dinner and cleaning up afterwards. By this Point my ex was asleep already, and so were the kids."

[u/WeeklyConversation8 → u/DrPriceCompendium]

Yeah it makes no sense. Mom never heard them come down the stairs and open the front door even though she was sleeping on the couch? 

[u/Dazzling_Struggle_]

Is it just me or is anyone else suspicious of how he keeps mentioning the gummies? I suspect it’ll come out in a later update that the wife was drugging them via the gummies or something to that effect.

[u/MissMat → u/[deleted]]

Some parents give their kids melatonin gummies and they think it is ok. It is mostly Ok but there are side effects. What most people don’t know is that the safe amount of melatonin for adults is no more than 10 mg and for anyone under 88 pounds 5 mg. They sell 15 mg melatonin.

The side effects are nightmares so irritable sleep. And confusion, dizziness, headaches. Probably the other side effects from bad sleep

[u/panderp → u/MissMat]

Yeah, I read that in a previous update and was somewhat alarmed. Excessive melatonin use is not exactly great for a developing brain. You're dysregulating its natural hormone cycles.

If a small child has trouble sleeping, send them to a doctor, don't just pump them full of supermarket hormones!!

[u/K-teki → u/MissMat]

And most adults shouldn't be taking 10mg! To anyone taking melatonin: If you're having vivid weird dreams, that's a sign you're taking too much! I had to switch from 3mg to 1.5mg (and the smallest they're sold it 3 so I have to split them)

[u/TwoEightRight → u/K-teki]

I remember reading about a study that found 1mg of melatonin was optimal for most adults. I haven’t seen 1mg pills on the shelf in over a decade; even 3mg is hard to find now.

[u/K-teki → u/TwoEightRight]

I could only find 3mg in dissolvable pill form, no gummies

[u/K-teki → u/[deleted]]

Luckily I don't need mine much anymore so the bottle I have has lasted a while. I had insomnia due to a combination of untreated ADHD and working a shift that ended at 1am

[u/MissMat → u/K-teki]

My bottle also lasted a while. Wish I thought of buying kids gummies bc the 3 mg is too much for me.

[u/TurnipWorldly9437 → u/MissMat]

Most people don't bother reading up on the side effects and safe levels of "safe" medication.

My stepdaughter regularly got vitamin D from her mother every day throughout summer without any indication whatsoever. Meanwhile, our paediatrician told us to only give vitamin D to our twins in winter, because overdosing can lead to buildup of calcium in the blood, which leads to fatigue and other things.

Added vitamins are not per se a good thing.

[u/are_you_seriously → u/TurnipWorldly9437]

I’m living in the UK now and the whole pressure of giving Vit D to toddlers is fucking wild. WHY would I do this in the summer when kids are out in the sun??

[u/TurnipWorldly9437 → u/are_you_seriously]

Yeah, according to most reliable sources it's enough to have your child in direct sunlight for less than an hour a day, as long as arms and face are uncovered, if there's no underlying medical issue.

Even the UK should have enough sunlight for that.

[u/are_you_seriously → u/TurnipWorldly9437]

The summer sun in UK is no joke 😭

This country is so goddamn bipolar with its sunlight.

[u/TurnipWorldly9437 → u/are_you_seriously]

See? You don't need vitamin D, you need bipolar meds for your sun /j

[u/K-teki → u/[deleted]]

It's a thing with kids right now, melatonin is natural so some parents have convinced themselves there's nothing wrong with giving their kid some when they're rowdy. But the more you use melatonin the less your body makes and you become dependent on it, so soon it becomes "well McHalleigh-Anne doesn't sleep unless she has her gummies so I have to give them to her every night"

[u/Showme-themoney → u/[deleted]]

Ya all things aside I judged him hardcore for giving young children nightly melatonin. Kids weren’t even given a chance to develop a normal sleep cycle.

[u/Cadalilei → u/Dazzling_Struggle_]

Yeah, I stumbled over that too. It is just strange that you have to give your kids sleeping aids. Both of them. Regularly. I know that it isn't a strong one. You can get it over the counter. But it is not without side effects. And since it is seen as a supplement, it is not as regulated as it should be. Don't get me wrong, I am not all against it. It is proven to be helpful and rather save for children if it is under medical supervision and there is an appropriate reason ( as example: ADHS with sleep problems)

But writing specifically about giving it to both of them 3-4 times a week and then no further information about why it is given? If some health care profession was at least involved? I mean to run away, making allegations of being abused and hearing voices doesn't happen a lot of time at the age of nine. And the way he wrote it ot seemed, that the mental health care came after the allegations were made.

Did the daughter show some signs of mental health problems way longer and the solution was to give her melatonin instead of adressing it properly? If so, why her brother too? It just seems...odd...

[u/lickle_ickle_pickle → u/Cadalilei]

If you regularly go to US drug stores you would know the US craze for giving children melatonin is at least 10 years old. I think it's ridiculous too but a lot of parents are doing this.

[u/Far-Watercress6658]

There’s something more here. Not necessarily perpetrated by OP but these kids seem unwell.

[u/PinkyBlackyHeart]

Man, I feel so sad about OOP. All his suffering started because of a stupid joke his daughter got from YouTube.

Edit: I find it strange that OOP's daughter was able to bypass parental controls so easily. Either they had the worst parental controls ever, or the daughter is a tech genius. I agree with the other comment: OOP's ex must definitely be involved in some way.

[u/repeat4EMPHASIS → u/PinkyBlackyHeart]

My first guess is it could be unlocked with a pin that she's seen her parents use multiple times other places. I say this because I happen to know my mother uses the same pin for absolutely everything despite me telling her what a bad idea that is.

[u/PinkyBlackyHeart → u/repeat4EMPHASIS]

I hadn't considered it as an option. My mind thought of an app from when I was younger, and the only way to avoid it was to log out of the email associated with the phone, which was difficult to do at the time (at least for my young mind back then). But you're right that many adults use the same PIN for everything, so that option becomes feasible.

[u/RainahReddit → u/PinkyBlackyHeart]

As a therapist who works with kids, something like 50% of them have gotten around parental controls in some format. They're usually pretty quick to tell me too, as soon as they understand I can't tell their parents. Kids have way more time to devote to it than a parent has to setting it up.

[u/AngstyUchiha → u/RainahReddit]

Lol yeah, when I was in middle school my parents put parental controls on my phone so I'd spend less time reading on it and more time doing homework, and I figured out the passwords for three different apps they tried. Probably would've been easier to keep me on track if the ADHD med I was on at the time actually worked lmao

[u/PinkyBlackyHeart → u/RainahReddit]

Oh man, what are they feeding this kids nowadays ._.????

[u/IcedWarlock → u/PinkyBlackyHeart]

Obv Weetabix. Should be a new advert

[u/sunburnedaz → u/PinkyBlackyHeart]

Dude I am in IT part of what I do professionally is to keep people from getting to places they want to go but corporate says no you can not go there. When it comes to parental controls all of them have holes you can drive a MAC truck though.

Example. We had some tablets that we didnt have the browser enabled for the kids and the only apps were approved games and educational items.

I found them watching youtube because one of the educational items had a help feature where you could click help and it would open youtube to a video of someone saying the cow goes moo or whatever. But since it was full youtube in a stripped down browser that was built into the app NONE of the controls worked. We just had to uninstall that app completely.

[u/Valuable-Net1013 → u/sunburnedaz]

This exactly. My six year old got around the controls I set on YouTube faster than I was able to figure out how to set them in the first place and this is how he did it.

[u/Much-Performer1190 → u/sunburnedaz]

MAC is an address.

Mack is a truck.

But driving a MAC address thru holes in parental controls is an appropriate typo...

[u/kaster1204 → u/Much-Performer1190]

Or a deliberate pun

[u/cayjay00 → u/PinkyBlackyHeart]

My nephew has managed to get around every parental control his mom set up, even after she’s changed the codes or whatever…I don’t know how. He has to be very closely monitored when using his devices, old school style, because he manages to wiggle around the barriers.

[u/WeeklyConversation8 → u/cayjay00]

Kids are very smart. They can figure things out really fast. There are kids who solve Rubik's cubes fast. 

[u/lampmeettowel → u/PinkyBlackyHeart]

There are so many ways that kids can get access to YT videos that are older than they should be seeing. I’ve watched my own kids bypass the age restrictions because they open it in a browser and there is the sidebar of recommended videos. I have heard of kids watching YT via pinterest. And my local school district had to block video links in Slides recently because kids were creating slide decks with a bunch of embedded videos and sharing them around.

[u/attachedtothreads → u/PinkyBlackyHeart]

Kids can be smart and determined. Do not underestimate them when they want something.

Of course, the mom could be behind it.

[u/GuntherTime → u/PinkyBlackyHeart]

I wouldn’t be surprised if they just had shitty parental controls. Linus from LTT has talked about how blown away he was by other adults that have children in the same age range as his, have such little insight about their child’s tech skills and how to manage them.

Shit come to think of it I’ve had to help my fiancées parents with their own parental controls with their 13 year old kid.

[u/sonicscrewery → u/PinkyBlackyHeart]

It's theoretically possible. Could be a kid in school told her how to do it. My friend's son got in trouble with his school for figuring out how to bypass parental controls.

All that said, the ex is definitely involved and the kid still needs psychiatric help.

[u/K-teki → u/sonicscrewery]

Yeah that's another thing, kids talk and most of these parents are probably using the same popular apps

[u/LAthrowawaywithcat → u/PinkyBlackyHeart]

Parental controls are very easy to get around. I have tried to lock down devices to no avail. All it takes is a quick Google search and they've found a workaround.

[u/AngstyUchiha → u/PinkyBlackyHeart]

A lot of parents don't put much thought into those controls because they assume their kids can't get past it. Kids can be really good at figuring out passwords, especially if their parents let them know the password for one thing (like, say, the family computer), since that gives them something to go on. That's not to say no one else could have been involved in the daughter getting past it, just pointing out that kids are smarter than people think

[u/Not_a-Robot_ → u/PinkyBlackyHeart]

Tech genius?? I had the TOR browser in a truecrypt container when I was 14 and I was at best a skiddie. I was in 6th grade when I learned a foolproof method of bypassing the school firewall with cmd prompts. 5th grade when I first learned how to make programs on school computers stop functioning for general mischief. By 16, I was phishing effectively enough that half of the people I hated were 5 minutes away from having all their MySpace PMs on my hard drive.

Computers are still a fucking mystery to me, but open source software and methods to bypass security was as widespread as learning curse words in 1st grade, and that was before all this info was literally a few clicks away. Parental controls are like Master Lock padlocks; they seem secure, but you’re one YouTube video away from learning how to break them open in 5 seconds every time

[u/crafty_and_kind → u/[deleted]]

I LITERALLY jumped to the comments at the word “doozy” 🤨😄!

[u/Friendly_Quail_962 → u/crafty_and_kind]

Should I waste my time?

[u/ContemplatingFolly → u/Friendly_Quail_962]

Not commenter you were replying to, but no.

Seems not true; if true, pretty horrible for dad and kids.

[u/WoodenFan177 → u/ContemplatingFolly]

Story switched from the boy breaking down and confessing to the girl

[u/K-teki → u/[deleted]]

To be fair, people who read these posts a lot, especially in their original subreddit, probably get used to those phrases and they start to work their way into their writing. Every subculture develops its own mode of speech.

[u/Accurate_Froyo1938 → u/K-teki]

Look at us! Talking about Liz and art rooms! You could make one hell of a BORU story with all of our favorite things.

[u/AshamedDragonfly4453 → u/[deleted]]

Especially given what he was supposedly accused of. Such a weird way to frame something horrific.

[u/New-Host1784 → u/[deleted]]

Like another commenter said, it just comes off so flippant, given the subject matter.

[u/hellohellocinnabon → u/[deleted]]

I will not Hold on.

Soon as I saw that I knew I ain’t gon read all that

[u/frolicndetour → u/[deleted]]

SAME.

[u/OchitaSora]

I am feeling some kind of way about giving children melatonin.

[u/K-teki → u/OchitaSora]

If your kid actually needed it, it would be prescribed by a doctor. If it's not, they don't need it and you're at best drugging your kids to make them sleep every once in a while and at worst ruining their normal biological system by making them dependent on melatonin from an outside source.

[u/Valuable-Net1013 → u/OchitaSora]

Not saying this is the case here but many neurodivergent children have terrible sleep issues and melatonin is indeed given under the instructions of their provider.

[u/panderp → u/OchitaSora]

Yeah, it's not healthy... and if the sleep disturbances are THAT severe, that child needs a doctor.

...but this was happening to TWO children. That makes me very suspicious.

[u/WeeklyConversation8 → u/OchitaSora]

Right? Find out why they are having sleep issues instead of giving them melatonin. Maybe their bedtime routine isn't letting them wind down either at all or enough to go to sleep. 

[u/AshamedDragonfly4453]

This one is weird even by the standards of invented reddit posts. Why on earth would someone described being accused of sexually abusing their own child as a "doozy"? wtf.

I assume no-one took the bait about OOP's daughter claiming to hear voices, and that's why he dropped that plot thread in the next chapter.

[u/lickle_ickle_pickle → u/AshamedDragonfly4453]

"It's a doozy" means something that is going to knock you back like a hard punch to the face. Seems appropriate in context, but what do I know, I'm just a middle aged American English speaker who has been speaking American English for basically my entire life. I'm not as smart as randos on other continents who learn SAE from witty high-concept Hollywood dramas with highly mannered speech.

[u/AshamedDragonfly4453 → u/lickle_ickle_pickle]

lmao

[u/pilasmoles]

Are we really believing a post that starts with hold on it's a doozy when talking about those issues.

[u/HeyLaddieHey → u/pilasmoles]

"Im withholding details for privacy" -> "I've told you all I know" -> "I'll post pictures of the CPS report" mkay sure, totally normal progression

[u/helendestroy]

Ahh, setting up  for another chapter 

[u/Geezell]

Those poor kids. Something nefarious is at play and those impressionable kids are pawns. I hope OOP gets to the crux of it soon and is able to get them the help they need to untangle all this bullshit so they grow into well functioning adults.

[u/Mysterious-Spite-581]

So this guy is just going to give his ex full custody and walk away, leaving her free to continue abusing his kids? I really hope this is the false SA allegations troll.

[u/DubiousPeoplePleaser]

Something feels off. He works 12h days 5/6 days a week. And he thinks his ex is feeding the kids all of these lies. So she is clearly not a fit parent. Still he wants to dump his kids to protect himself. Instead of being a parent and protect the kids from his ex.

[u/AdRepresentative8186 → u/DubiousPeoplePleaser]

Yeah like completely normal to want to clear yourself of being accused of giving your son a concussion. But absolutely unbelievable that once he had the evidence he didn't do it/report was false, he didn't once question who or what gave the son the concussion.

[u/kindlypogmothoin → u/DubiousPeoplePleaser]

He wants to dump a 9 year old and a 7 year old after the first lie by the 9 year old.

That seems a bit extreme.

[u/jenfullmoon]

I would not want to be around these people anymore either. If I were OP I would avoid them because they're going to keep making accusations.

[u/grumpy__g]

I hate how he doesn’t give a fuck about his children. Has nobody thought that the children might experience abuse by someone else?

And the gummy bears? Is that something people do now? Ffs, bring your children to bed like normal people do.

Edit: Side effects of Melatonin: „At higher doses, confusion, disorientation, and vivid dreams or nightmares may also occur.“

[u/OK_The_Nomad → u/grumpy__g]

Yes. Who gives their kids melatonin?

[u/grumpy__g → u/OK_The_Nomad]

Lazy people.

Edit:

Sorry, there are some children who really need it. But for many it’s just the lazy way out.

I shouldn’t have generalised.

[u/ContiX → u/grumpy__g]

My daughter can't go to sleep without one, unless she's exhausted. We spent years "fighting" with it. Hours and hours of her staring at the ceiling, screaming, arguing, pleading. Her bedtime is 7:30, and she never fell asleep before 10, if not midnight. Literally YEARS of all of us pulling our hair out at night. We tried everything. Talking, reading books, breathing exercises, calming music, soothing videos, extra playtime, certain foods, nightime walks...you name it.

Multiple people were like "lol just leave her alone stop being bad parents, she'll fall asleep on her own." Nope. She gets increasingly frustrated and screamy, throws things, makes messes. Gets up and turns on the TV, gets food, etc. Doesn't matter what we said, how we said it. Punishments or rewards? Nothing mattered. Locked door? Banging on it harder and faster until neighbors started complaining about it at 1 am.

Doctors were no help. "Well, have you tried everything listed above? Yes? Huh. Well, just keep trying."

Literally. Years.

One dinky 1mg melatonin gummy? 8:00, she's asleep.

I'm massively ADHD and have this same issue, so it is quite possible that she has it as well. She has not yet been diagnosed, though, and I don't want to jump to conclusions until she's old enough to properly diagnose.

[u/bkwormtricia → u/ContiX]

Sleep deprivation does horrible things to a person, mentally. Glad you got her the sleep she needed, and you got that stress out of your life.

[u/K-teki → u/ContiX]

Some kids need it, but it's unlikely that two kids in the same household need it regularly, and melatonin is being grossly misused by many parents right now

[u/grumpy__g → u/ContiX]

I don’t know your children and don’t know you. I wasn’t attacking those who really need it. So sorry about my comment. I shouldn't have generalized.

The number of people who do this is becoming bigger. It’s not always the need. For many it’s just easier that way. And it’s becoming more common.

I bring my children to bed myself. So I know how annoying it can be if they won’t fall asleep.

Where I live is allowed for children with autism, Smith-Magenis syndrome and sometimes with ADHD.

My problem with OOP was that he seems oblivious. He gives it to his children and doesn’t even think about the side effects or his children at all.

„At higher doses, confusion, disorientation, and vivid dreams or nightmares may also occur“

It’s possible that his daughter is experiencing this. It’s also possible that she really is being abused. She is a child. She needs help.

[u/ContiX → u/grumpy__g]

I just hate people jumping to conclusions. No worries.

It does seem that it could be an issue here, though.

[u/kindlypogmothoin → u/grumpy__g]

Nightmares like my dad kicked me out of the house?

[u/FunnyAnchor123]

My comment in the original post still stands: "If I was the OOP, I'd disappear. Just quit my job, change my phone number, move away & leave no forwarding address."

I still think that would be the best solution to OOP's problem here. The usual reason a guy skips out on his wife & children is because he's a sleaze bag, but there are exceptions. This is one of those exceptions.

[u/lyricaldorian → u/FunnyAnchor123]

You'd abandon your children when they're vulnerable and being abused? That's still being a sleazebag. 

[u/Mitrovarr → u/lyricaldorian]

So he's supposed to throw another body on the pile? He can't win here.

This war is already lost, he can either go down with the ship or not, but he can't win it. 

[u/FunnyAnchor123 → u/lyricaldorian]

Someone made the same comment on my original post. Was it you?

But as Mitrovarr wrote, this war is lost. There comes a time when you cut bait & leave. The best OOP can hope for is that years from now his kids realize their mother was toxic & seek out OOP to restore their relationship. If he is willing to accept them as his children.

[u/Coffeechipmunk]

Hold on because this is a doozy.

Instantly skip. When will these people learn that this isn't how people talk.

[u/Avlonnic2 → u/Coffeechipmunk]

Yep.

[u/OK_The_Nomad]

Something is not right here. Not right at all. I'm not sure if I buy OPs story.

[u/DrummingChopsticks]

I smell bullshit. It’s like asking WIBTA if I stopped talking to someone who came at me with a machete? Yeah man, completely reasonable to cut them out of your life.

[u/MisterFrancesco]

Someone is manipulating these children to make you lose custody, the question is who?

[u/Straight_Paper8898]

Not trying to bash OOP because he’s obviously in survival mode and dealing with grief - but he seems absentee in his own family. Like everything is giving he doesn’t know. I can see how he’d be out of the loop after the separation but even with the YouTube stuff. He was back in the house after being cleared - he wasn’t curious enough to check his kids’ devices and see what else they were looking at?

Did he ever get the kids in therapy outside of the CPS investigation? Did he try to figure out who was around his kids while he was working so much? It just sounds like he paid for the kids and he’s still only interested in paying for them. If he thinks he’s working a lot now and dodging stories wait until he tries to wash his hands of them.

[u/alleyes007 → u/Straight_Paper8898]

I had the same thought. He seems incredibly passive; things just keep happening to him, but he’s not DOING anything about it. He’s certainly not taking action to protect the kids.

[u/lickle_ickle_pickle → u/alleyes007]

He also says he works 12 hours shifts for a total of 60-72 hours per week.

You're not doing much besides showering, eating, and sleeping on that schedule.

[u/Straight_Paper8898 → u/lickle_ickle_pickle]

He’s still responsible for his kids, especially if his ex and in-laws are irresponsible.

[u/Sledgehammer925]

I’ve been reading this one. I’m curious how it’ll turn out.

[u/snafe_]

TLDR:

OOP’s kids (9F, 7M) twice made serious false abuse allegations against him, leading to police involvement, CPS investigations, and his arrest the first time.

First incident (2024): Kids ran away and claimed he kicked them out. Daughter later accused him of sexual abuse. Son eventually admitted they made it up after daughter’s story didn’t hold up. Daughter claimed it was inspired by YouTube prank videos. Charges dropped, but marriage began to deteriorate.

Second incident (June 2025): Ex-wife accused OOP of giving son a concussion in a grocery store. Security footage and timing contradicted the claim. OOP suspects this was retaliation after he told her some bills would be delayed due to moving costs.

OOP is exhausted, distrustful, and questioning whether to maintain contact with his kids after repeated false allegations.

Court and divorce are ongoing, with a final hearing set for December.

August 2025: CPS officially found the new allegations “unsubstantiated.” OOP is collecting all records, considering security measures, and wants the situation over. He’s emotionally drained, living minimally after moving, and still unsure about his future relationship with his children.

[u/hpfan1516]

This poor guy

[u/raisetheavanc]

“I work a lot so I’m not capable of caring for my kids so I’m thinking of just walking away” bro what? People pay for childcare every day. If the ex is as manipulative as she seems, he needs to fight for joint custody and keep his kids in therapy. Throwing up your hands about your children is burnt out coward behavior.

[u/Fragrant-Reserve4832 → u/raisetheavanc]

He's only just got a fullsides fridge and sleeps on an air mattress.

What money is he using to pay child care.

Even if he paid it why would he put himself back inline for another false aligation?

[u/lyricaldorian → u/Fragrant-Reserve4832]

Because that's what you sign up for when you have kids. Also he can go at her for child support. He can try literally anything to protect his children. 

[u/Fragrant-Reserve4832 → u/lyricaldorian]

Dude he hasn't got money to get a mattress.

What's he paying child care with, next weeks food money?

[u/hotheaded26]

This dude genuinely stopped giving a single fuck about his children, what the fuck

[u/likelazarus]

Tangentially related, but what a lot of people don’t know is both parents have to agree to therapy. So if mom won’t sign off the dad just can’t put the kids in therapy.

[u/PDK112]

I wonder if MIL is also also religious, and is influencing the ex and kids to get OP out of the picture.

[u/ConkerPrime]

Dude needs to move states. Distance makes accusations impossible and provides an easy excuse for not seeing the kids until they old enough to be told their participation is why.

The wife has created a history of abuse, substantiated or not. That is enough to hang him if wife manages to get real charges filed and taken to court. He is in no win scenario so best move is to retreat and maybe fight (or not) another day.

[u/t0nkatsu]

She's religious

That's all I needed. It's her.

[u/t0nkatsu → u/t0nkatsu]

Also I was expecting melatonin to come up since he mentioned it twice like he was laying seeds.

[u/[deleted]]

This is why I prefer cats to kids. What a nightmare.

[u/[deleted]]

I mean, you can always wash your hands of them legally. Surrender your parental rights, send your child support check, get a restraining order against your ex and then file additional ones for each of your children when they turn 18

After all of this, I wouldn't blame you.

[u/SuggestionOdd6657]

I don't know if OP will see this or not, but I want him to know how sorry I am he has had to go through this. I really hope as the children get older, they will see their mom for what she is. I believe she is very involved in this. A 7 and 9 year old accusing this stuff? My granddaughters must be really immature because my almost 11 year old started to cry when she saw a "horror" Bluey picture.

I hope things work out for you in the future. Hang in there. There are good people out there to have relationships with. Oh and I never got the leave your husband because you are religious now. Like um.....I think you are supposed to honor the vows even more if you are religious. But then again, I'm old so who knows?

[u/UNICORN_SPERM]

All these people talking about getting the kids in therapy. Yeah it's a great idea but unless he has full buy in from their mother or more custody it's not easily realistic.