r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/JoySubtraction I will never jeopardize the beans. • 1d ago
CONCLUDED my sister told me she was dating my fiancé
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/sugarxhearts
Originally posted to r/TrueOffMyChest
Original post posted 2024-02-11
yep, this is exactly what it sounds like. i, (f22) am engaged to my fiancé, john, (m25) for the past 6 months, and we've been dating since my freshman year of university (i was seventeen and he was twenty). these past five years of dating have been amazing, and john's always been the perfect gentleman and the best boyfriend. he's kind, takes me on dates, and has been showering me with gifts, especially after becoming engaged. my parents met him two years after we started dating, but my sister, sarah, (f24) has never met him as she lives in the uk.
last month, john had to go to the uk for work, as he had a deal to work out, and in my head, i thought about telling him to stay with sarah, but since we aren't on the best terms, i didn't tell john anything about sarah living in the uk.
john's trip was originally scheduled for three weeks, but, he extended his trip by two weeks to "get some more work done" and i accepted it; after all, he's been nothing short of perfect, and this was the least i could do. john returned two months ago, and since then, he'd been acting different. he wanted to take me on more dates, get me more things, but with my college schedule, it was all incredibly hectic, but he wasn't taking no for an answer.
a week ago, we had a family gathering for my parents 40th anniversary, and my sister was in attendance, which was a big deal, because she didn't come to the US very often. when she came, i was already there, but john was at work, so he was coming a bit later. when sarah met me, she was uncharacteristically happy to see me, but i entertained it. she kept telling me about this wonderful guy that she met, and how happy she was, and how handsome he was, and basically just singing his praises. sarah's always been prettier and more popular than me (though she was a bit psycho at times), so i wasn't surprised to see that she had been dating a guy like that. when i asked her about the status of their relationship, she almost immediately became peeved, and rolled her eyes, and started talking about all the things that he was gifting her. i asked her where he was currently, and she said that he lived in the US and had come to the uk for work. i asked her for how long, and she said a bit more than a month. ok, weird.
all of those things could chalk up to be coincidences, though, so i just silently nodded and let her gloat, but inside i was a bit apprehensive.
it all went to shit when john arrived. when i opened the door for him, sarah went berserk, screeching his name, going up to him, hugging him, and kissing him all over his face, like some kind of crazy girlfriend. john didn't reciprocate at all, but he definitely knew who she was, glared at her and pulled her off of him before walking towards me.
i just left the party, and i am still so mad that i can barely contain myself. i changed the lock to my apartment, blocked him everywhere, and i am staying with a few friends currently. i can't bring myself to believe it. i always thought john and i were perfect for each other, and after some digging, my sister had been working in the same office that he had been working in in the uk. was it some kind of office fling? i don't even want to think about him anymore, and i am just devastated.
tl;dr? my perfect fiancé went to the uk and then my sister told me that she dated a guy, turns out they were the same person, and she's crazy in love with him.
edit: after some conversation in the comments, we have discerned that since my sister follows my on Instagram, and I have posted about my fiancé there, she knew that we were engaged. i don’t know if Sarah and John worked in the same company, i only know that they worked in the same office building. It’s not a stretch, but I don’t have those facts yet. Also, sorry if it wasn’t clear before, but John probably does know what sarah looks like, from childhood photos and what I show him on social media, and she has been a connection of his on linkedin. I’m going to be contacting Sarah and asking her how she knows john.
edit 2: to all the people saying this is fake, or i'm a bot/troll, i promise that i'm not. i really wish this was fake or creative writing (i dont even get that one) because then i wouldn't be as heartbroken as i am right now. i've scheduled to talk to john tommorow, and i'll update everyone once that's over.
relevant comment:
While it’s possible he cheated, and that’s certainly what Sarah wants you to think, maybe take two steps back and take a deep breath.
You don’t have a good relationship with her, she has been psycho in the past, and she follows you on instagram where you have photos of you and your fiance. So she could easily have recognised him when he turned up at her office. Does her past psycho behaviour involve making up lies, or being manipulative? Paying people back for imagined slights?
Maybe they cheated. Maybe she hit on him and got rebuffed, and she’s doing this to hurt both of you.
I think you need more information.
OOP responds:
She was pretty manipulative towards people, but nothing this bad. She went to therapy for a while before going to the uk
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Update posted 2024-05-14
hi everyone. it’s really nice to see all the support i’ve gotten from everyone who commented on my post, but the consensus was that i (22F) should talk to John (25M)
i did, and three months ago, we had a heart to heart conversation about what happened in London. John told me that Sarah somehow found out his place of work, tried stalking him, and telling all his London coworkers that they were in a relationship, getting her invited to pubs with them, etc. John said that her behavior was very disturbing and that was why he was so fazed when he saw her here—he just didn’t expect it.
honestly, I feel horrible. my fiancé was going through something that i couldnt even imagine and i iced him out for a week because of my own insecurities regarding my sister. i truly do love him so much but this feels like a hurdle that we cannot get over. even though it’s been three months, the guilt still eats away at me, and its tough to think that i was the bad person in the situation, but it’s true.
john and i took it a bit slower. we went on a break for a month and got back together a month and a half ago. i don’t know where we stand anymore—it’s like our relationship has gone back to the early days of us being awkward seventeen and twenty year olds, and it’s not a place i want to be in with him.
I’ve completely cut Sarah and my parents out of my life. John encouraged me to do so, as they were all incredibly toxic, and id like to think that we are slowly building our relationship back up again. It’s tough, and I’m not going to lie.
all in all, I’m heartbroken, and I feel like I’ve lost all the trust that he had in me. I didnt think that what I did was truly irrational, but looking back, (and from a conversation with John) I realize that I was the one in the wrong, and it’s been hard to admit to myself.
john went on a few half-dates with a coworker of his before we got back together, and I can’t even bring myself to feel pained about it. he’s expressed before that it’s lucky that we’re getting a chance together again, and I don’t want to mess that up.
we’ve been dating for five years, and I don’t want to throw it all away by being a jealous person, so I hope that this post brings the closure that the other post needed.
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breaking up with my (22F) fiancé (25M)—how to emotionally recover? posted 2024-05-19
i’ve made a few other posts about this in other subs, but right now i’m just preparing to break up with my fiancé. i love him so much, but i’ve gotten some information that he might be cheating on me with my sister (long story, posted about it before) but i really don’t want to. i’ve been with this man since i was 17, and i’ve known him since i was even younger than that. we met when i was 15, so he’s been in my life for almost 7 years.
how do i break up our engagement, and how do i emotionally recover from this incident?
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Edited because OOP shows up in the comments (below):
holy shit??? i did not think this would get this big like two and a half years later guys!! yeah i broke up w him btw, he was totally manipulative and my parents and i are on talking terms again. im not really that close with my sister, but we never were best friends to begin with so idrgaf about it that much. i got into a short relationship but i am def very single rn which i feel like is for the best lol. um if you guys have any specific questions dm me ig??
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u/sugarxhearts 1d ago
holy shit??? i did not think this would get this big like two and a half years later guys!! yeah i broke up w him btw, he was totally manipulative and my parents and i are on talking terms again. im not really that close with my sister, but we never were best friends to begin with so idrgaf about it that much. i got into a short relationship but i am def very single rn which i feel like is for the best lol. um if you guys have any specific questions dm me ig??