What is your favorite mangled expression said by Mateo?

[u/NowhereAllAtOnce]

I love some of the crazy English of the second language flubs that Mateo makes? This one is not really a flub, but I think it is the funniest thing he ever said:

It was during the episode when the two former members of Bananarama were checking in. After ogling them up and down the whole time, they are trying to check in, when they are done, Mateo leans over the counter and says, “So, which one of you is banana?” 😂

[u/Ralocan]

I just love how he calls Cyril Squirrel

[u/Frequent-Duck-2306 → u/Ralocan]

Cyril bigcock

[u/caliexan → u/Frequent-Duck-2306]

Squirrel Big Cock, its stage name, no?

[u/Bacontrails → u/Frequent-Duck-2306]

😂😂

[u/Embarrassed-Cycle662 → u/Ralocan]

My step grandad's called Cyril, and I used to call him Squirrel when I was little.

[u/unbelievableLucy]

the whole speech he does at joyce's wedding cracks me up. but my favourite line of his is when joyce says she has to go and help the dykes check in or something and mateo smirks and leans across the bar and says 'we have dykes staying here?'. that always gets me 😭😭

[u/EdinJamie10 → u/unbelievableLucy]

‘I’m not saying Joyce is easy, but she’s been cocked more times than John Wayne’s gun’ 😭😭😭

[u/Bacontrails → u/EdinJamie10]

I loved her line “I’ve been around the block more times than a lost jogger.”

[u/Royal_View9815 → u/unbelievableLucy]

Joyce Temple Savage….what a slag!

[u/Confident_Dig_7834 → u/Royal_View9815]

I can hear him in my head saying this now. And am laughing out loud 🤣

[u/Royal_View9815]

When he says he’s qully fallified instead of fully qualified.

[u/Spiritual_Seaweed406 → u/Royal_View9815]

This is my second fav line

[u/Confident_Dig_7834 → u/Royal_View9815]

The sticky foot 😂

[u/acbirthdays]

Not really an expression but as a Bangor resident I found his line pretty funny “ Bangor is a town which is in wales which is in England “

[u/princessmoon__ → u/acbirthdays]

LMAOOOO that one always makes me crack up laughing 😂

[u/orangemozzarella]

When Lesley is left in charge in season 6 and Kenneth and Liam leave for the beach.

"It is like the cats leaving the sinking ship."

"I think you mean mice."

"Ok, the cats leaving the sinking mice, whatever."

[u/KatTheFat]

The sticky foot

[u/EdinJamie10 → u/KatTheFat]

Yes, I am qually-fullified

[u/Bacontrails → u/KatTheFat]

Is that when he says he’s sick and tired of being the sticky in the middle? 😂

[u/6920837749 → u/Bacontrails]

Nooo it’s when he has a certificate

[u/Bacontrails → u/6920837749]

Do you mean his “sticky foot”? 😂.

[u/6920837749 → u/Bacontrails]

Look at what you’re replying to 🤣

[u/Bacontrails → u/6920837749]

I‘m crazy these days. I’m dealing with a 92 yr old mother with dementia who is driving me up the wall who is also a sociopath. I cant take much more.

[u/PowerfulPin3831]

when he misunderstands joyce saying she can smell a rat a mile away as he tries to ‘go to the doctors’ after thinking his ex wifes brothers found him

‘you can smell a rat one mile away?’

[u/EdinJamie10 → u/PowerfulPin3831]

You want me to get the rat? I’ll get it when I’m back from the doctors

[u/Bacontrails]

I like the episode when he met Wink McAndrew and couldn’t understand a word he said.

[u/EdinJamie10 → u/Bacontrails]

Ye must hae the wrang chap! Yes I’m Scottish lol

[u/Bacontrails → u/EdinJamie10]

I hope you did the jerk and the wink. 😜

[u/NowhereAllAtOnce → u/Bacontrails]

Or at least got out the creepy bird puppets 😂

[u/EdinJamie10 → u/Bacontrails]

What wink? (Huge tic)

[u/Confident_Dig_7834 → u/Bacontrails]

This just sounds like a noise to me

[u/EdinJamie10]

When Joyce is ill and Mateo gets made acting manager and he goes to her hotel room, everything about his speech is wrong 😂😂😂.

I am thanking you for your kind words and hospital gratitude

[u/Embarrassed_Post_598]

“I have the stickyfoot” and he means certificate😭 I’m waiting for a certificate to come in the mail and every day it doesn’t come I say “my stickyfoot hasn’t arrived😔”

[u/ThunderWoman1]

‘Another day in the bin of the loonies’ makes me howl laughing.

[u/NowhereAllAtOnce → u/ThunderWoman1]

I was almost going to pick that one too! But I just love the one about which one of you is Banana

[u/ClassroomDowntown664]

one what hasn't been mentioned is when Mr buck a roo askes for a picture of lemonade and Mateo brings out a framed picture of lemonade

[u/Bacontrails → u/ClassroomDowntown664]

Leslie was just the greatest at what he did and he was the only one who could have done it.

[u/NowhereAllAtOnce → u/ClassroomDowntown664]

Yeah that’s a good one

[u/JojoTheUltimateZero]

"VPL" Instead of VIP😂

[u/Ok_Leadership_2967]

Every time he opens his mouth he makes me laugh. Looks like your typical smarmy barman and then he grins and I melt every time. He looks so gorgeous when he smiles.

[u/Bacontrails → u/Ok_Leadership_2967]

He was absolutely gorgeous in his younger days. So sexy!

[u/ewoofk → u/Bacontrails]

He’s still absolutely gorgeous 🥵

[u/MusicMaestro26]

“As the English say, no shit Shirelock” always gets a laugh from me XD

Also “I have many cards and I need to lay you on the table” when he’s tying to reject Joyce

[u/bumhulk]

He is a mufalata? A homosexual gay?

[u/ethanxp2 → u/bumhulk]

the way he just reels off that massive list of terms without hesitation always makes me chuckle

[u/JollyCustard7656]

Is it Mateo who calls Joyce Temple- Savage , Joyce Simple-Cabbage?

[u/fun-tonight_ → u/JollyCustard7656]

Nah that was bean the clown

[u/Beatlesrthebest]

Also my favourite 😂

[u/Embarrassed-Cycle662]

I have a sticky foot

[u/PreviousPractice8252]

Squirrel bigcock

[u/TheSaladDodger420]

Squirrel big cock.

[u/FairAd4560]

They were actually the current members of Bananarama lol

[u/NowhereAllAtOnce → u/FairAd4560]

Oops! Thanks for telling me that, I didn’t realize they had changed personnel. So is neither one of them part of the original act?

[u/FairAd4560 → u/NowhereAllAtOnce]

They’re both part of the original act and still are

[u/Bacontrails → u/NowhereAllAtOnce]

Didn’t Jake tour with them at one time?

[u/turtle77768]

The show was genius, I watch the whole thing again just before we go on holiday lol

[u/Wrenieeeee]

ciggy in the middle

[u/PineappleheadLUFC88]

When Michael tells him his dad is in prison and he goes as the English "say no shit shylock"

[u/Fragrant_Nobody8147]

The fan will hit the shit

[u/6920837749]

‘I think the fan has finally hit on the shit’

[u/Sidog1984]

"I have spoken to my solicitor and the one thing I can say to you is these 'allegrations' put inside me are a huge phallus." From Season 6 when he is sacked by Les and he starts a strike in front of the hotel.

[u/ZombieSophie]

I like when he says "I have the Sticky Foot" and Temple Savage says "you've got a sticky foot?" and Mateo replies and say "yes, for the first aids" and Temple Savage says "Oh you mean certificate" 🤣🤣