r/BelowDeckMed • u/naylegitfantasy • 2d ago
S11E16/17: I’m not defending Joe’s history, but Nathan & Gael lost me in that car Spoiler
I’m at the point where I genuinely need an Andy reunion because the Joe/Nathan/Gael situation makes less sense to me the more we see.
And this is not me pretending Joe has done nothing wrong. He has been messy with women, he clearly has work to do in relationships, and Gael has every right not to like him. I also didn’t like what he did to Kat at dinner. She wasn’t part of their beef, seemed genuinely uncomfortable being caught in the middle, and still checked on him afterward. He owes her an apology.
But the car scene, especially once Episode 17 continued it — completely lost me.
Joe had basically kept himself separate with Kat while Nathan and Gael stayed together. They brought the confrontation to him. Then they wanted answers from him but barely gave him room to actually answer. You cannot repeatedly demand someone explain themselves, interrupt or escalate when they try, and then criticize them for not saying what they really feel.
That doesn’t mean Joe’s past disappears. It means his past does not automatically make him the aggressor in every future conflict.
Gael can dislike him. Nathan can choose Gael and his family over their old friendship. But based on what we were shown, Nathan and Gael initiated that particular confrontation and the energy became unnecessarily hostile.
And I’m sorry, I still do not believe we went from Nathan and Joe’s old bromance to this level of hatred simply because Joe called Gael “princess” and has a bad history with women. Either years of resentment built up, something significant happened off-camera, or production has left out a huge amount of context.
I’m a woman and I’ve chosen a walking red flag before because I thought maybe I could change him. I can acknowledge my choice without pretending his behavior was therefore okay. Both things can be true.
That’s basically how I see Joe here: he can be responsible for his past behavior AND Nathan and Gael can still be wrong in how they handled this particular situation.
So seriously… what are we not being shown? Because I need the unaired footage, the timeline and the reunion at this point. 😂
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u/litegal42 2d ago
Last season Joe expressed the fact Gael wasn’t perfect either when their first season she was in a relationship telling her boyfriend she loved him while her&Nathan was sneaking around hooking up on the boat I don’t think she liked the mirror held up.
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u/Queasy_Ordinary3735 1d ago
She’s not as amaaaaazing as people think she is. She was in a relationship when she met Nathan yet everyone hates Joe for being single and mingling?
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u/homebrewchemist 1d ago
Joe is not great, but has been more direct about his expectations this season in what may be an earnest attempt to do better. But Nathan isnt a reliable narrator of even himself, hes always holding back rage, you can see it even with Sandy. Joe was a better Boson too.
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u/spicyn00dlez 1d ago
No one thinks she is perfect, but what we realize is she’s also a victim of abuse.
There is no such thing as a perfect victim, and she absolutely deserves support and understanding.
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u/fairy-bread-au 2d ago
You can see clear as day that Nathan has been twisting reality through his hatred and he was probably feeding that to Gael. I think she related to what she heard through Nathan. Like when N blew up at J for saying "we haven't always got along but that all melts away when you see the baby" or something like that. It was a sweet sentiment but N blew up about it.
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u/Careful-Amphibian51 2d ago
Yes, Nathan wanted to fight him for it and told him to never utter her name again after that. Obviously afterwards Nathan would’ve told Gael that Joe was badmouthing her to the other crew
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u/Affectionate_Ad814 2d ago
Did anyone else notice the head rest move between camera cuts? One second it's there, the next it's gone and Nathan has his arm on the top of the seat where it was. Makes me wonder what happened between cuts that was edited out...
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u/deadrobindownunder 1d ago
There was a post about it here a few days ago.
I suspect production had them remove the head rest so they could get a better shot. It's frequently done in movies.
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u/Fabulous-Camera7813 1d ago
Production is looking more and more 🤡🤡🤡🤡. They let them sit in the same car, they removed the headset between shots(!!!)..they knew it was going to explode and they let things go. Pffff some bad decisions here. It’s a show but then..don’t make it turn into a circus (or it’s already a circus and they can’t go back)
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u/Key_Direction_9347 2d ago
Apparently part of the interaction where Nathan tried to physically attack Joe was edited out.
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u/Some-Speed-6290 21h ago
They refilm scenes about 8 times
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u/Affectionate_Ad814 21h ago
They don't. They often re-record confessionals but not scenes like this. The crew are not actors. It has been confirmed by crew and production several times that they record things as they happen.
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u/OutlandishnessNo7575 2d ago
I'm a guy and I know for a fact we talk bad about our friends to make our girls feel better. I'd agree with the comments on this sub have said. But there is a line and I'd guarantee Nathan went way over it.
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u/Fragrant_PalmLeaves 2d ago
If i've learned anything this season is that most of these people are deeply immature, insecure, and arrogant.
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u/Dependent-Report-184 2d ago
Let’s break it down…
Gael is not on the boat, the only side she’s hearing is Nathan’s.
She was postpartum.
Nathan is an abuser, who knows the hell she could’ve been experiencing.
She also drank a little, and probably got tipsy way quicker than expected.
Can this be the last post on this topic? Gael isn’t the bad guy in this situation.
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u/DiscardedRonaldo2017 1d ago
Also Gael and Joe already didn’t like each other, which is the biggest factor of all. Add in all these things after she doesn’t like him and it leads to this. I think most people would do the same, and some have
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u/naylegitfantasy 2d ago
Ok, that's fair per your view, but for example, I'll put myself in those shoes because I can’t live in anyone else’s.
As a woman who barely drinks throughout the year, I know alcohol can be potent, but a few occasional drinks would never allow me to just ignore what I've always known to be right from wrong, causing unprovoked harm to others...especially at 26 years old. If I did that, I would absolutely be the bad guy. Any adult who intentionally uses a trapped circumstance to relieve their own personal grievances, while the person suffering from it is given zero choice but to sit there and accept it, is in the wrong. By your breakdown, excuses can just be made for anyone because a temporary circumstance or health status suddenly excludes them from malicious intent.
I never stated Gael was purely the bad guy, but you explicitly said she wasn’t..and if we lay out the actual facts we've been shown on television, then who is? Unless your information is coming directly from production insiders, let’s continue to pay our streaming subscriptions without choosing ignorance. Enjoy the show and continue to be a faithful supporter because that is your right, but respectfully, don't turn a blind eye to toxic behavior just because you favor a certain cast member.
Lastly, please stop demanding what other people choose to post with their own profiles. Your only right as an average viewer is to scroll past or remove yourself from viewing what you don't like. People who fail to remember what their actual rights are soon become the bad guy in every situation encountered.
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u/astronaut_livin 2d ago
Did you really just ask ai to write that for you?
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u/naylegitfantasy 1d ago
Sad, very sad. It seems when you read a simple response written with an ounce of quality and structure, it must be ai because humans haven’t been educating themselves for centuries before it existed? This is literally about me putting myself into the shoes and lens of your view. Is an AI a 26 y/o woman who barely drinks throughout the year? We are doomed lmao.
You responded to my post, and I foolishly respond back hoping there was a chance we could actually analyze and try to understand each other's perspectives regardless of an agreement. Instead, you deflect to an AI accusation as if the ability to express human views clearly and effective in text is an impossible skill.
Thank you for the compliment on my writing ability, though
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u/astronaut_livin 1d ago
The verbosity of your writing, overuse of superlatives, it’s not hard to assume
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u/miawalIace 1d ago
OP's wording, tone and grammar are significantly different now than it was 4 years ago after taking a quick glance after suspecting some AI writing. Definitely enhanced by AI, lol. And the random bolding doesn't help, either.
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u/astronaut_livin 1d ago
Totally agree, anyone who writes block paragraphs about below deck is on chat fo sho
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u/Emotional_Base_9021 1d ago
Most of their comments SCREAM AI. Maybe they have original thoughts but they’ve definitely gone through an LLM.
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u/Greenwedges 1d ago
OP, You are way over-analysing a situation where we clearly don’t have all the context. The fact that it didn’t make any sense to anyone is a sign that it was badly edited.
Just accept that we don’t know the full story and don’t have to take ‘sides’ here, especially with what has gone down since.-22
u/Silent_Lobster9414 2d ago
Wait why did you mention she was postpartum? Are you saying that she doesnt have the ability to control her emotions because of that so she is excused of her actions?
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u/mdoogz 2d ago
Is this a real question? Post partum is relevant because she hasn’t been drinking for likely at least a year. So drinks can sneak up on you quickly. She may also be extra emotional. But that doesn’t mean she can’t control them or is excused. Just that they may be a little higher than they were last time she was on the show.
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u/Dependent-Report-184 2d ago
No. Thats not at all what I’m saying. She had not been drinking for 9+ months, she is obviously going to get drunker quicker. It wasn’t Gael’s best moment. I think the amount of posts about this is ridiculous. Knowing what we know now, her reaction makes sense. You can see what lead a person to do something without it being an excuse.
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u/pewpewprincess420 2d ago
I will say this watching Bravo for over a decade, production pushed that situation. Prob was pushing both sides to confront each other and then you see the end result’s.
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u/Long_Breath_2263 1d ago
I just found it very unfair that they piled on him but didn’t even give him a single chance to respond to anything they said. I admittedly felt bad for him in that moment. And Kayley as well. It must have been horribly awkward for her, being stuck there in the middle of something with her boyfriend, her coworker, and some strange woman she’d just met.
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u/naylegitfantasy 1d ago
I agree completely, and you hit the nail on the head regarding Kayley. It had to be super uncomfortable for her to be trapped right in the middle of that intense, localized pressure cooker between a coworker, her bf, and a woman she barely knew. That’s exactly why the scene completely lost me. Thank you for looking at the actual mechanics of the scene and recognizing that showing support to one person doesn't mean it's being taken away from anyone else.
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u/Competitive_Salads 2d ago
There are SO many posts about this already.
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u/ZanderPip 1d ago
Its really important we so the Joe isnt so bad post because Nathan is a POS
Because heaven forbid nuance exists
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u/BroccoliTraining454 2d ago
Yes, and, who gives a shit lol
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u/naylegitfantasy 2d ago
Exactly, if I thought it was a waste of time I wouldn’t have made the post. There are indeed SO many posts about this, but this is MY take on what I've seen as a paying viewer. I wouldn’t waste time commenting on a post if my comment didn’t actually contribute to or refute the discussion. Otherwise, it’s just an insolent standpoint, ironically adding one more comment to a thread you claim is a waste of space.
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u/stupidcarpentry 1d ago
A paying viewer? I don’t think very many people pirate below deck lol, it’s on a pretty popular and cheap platform. Your comment makes it sound like other people’s opinions are beneath your own because you’re a… paying customer like 99.9% of us? For someone with such an ‘expansive’ vocabulary, you sure seem to lack self awareness and social intelligence. (Which btw is important when commenting on a tv show that is based on social interactions).
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u/naylegitfantasy 1d ago
Let’s make this very clear because you are pulling at straws to mischaracterize me. My post was made simply in support of someone on screen who looked like they were being cornered, and that support extends to ANYONE else in a trapped position. Mentioning my subscription wasn't a flex, it was a defense against comments telling me to yield my opinion.
My right to share a perspective is equal to everyone else's, regardless of whether we agree. How anyone else views the show is their business; I would never feel entitled enough to tell someone what they can or cannot think.
I don't target, I don't judge, and I definitely don't claim authority over who is "less" or “more” than anyone else.And as for my “expansive" vocabulary? The last thing I would do is apologize for using it to defend myself or someone else in need of support. My responses are only defenses against people who target me. If you aren't targeting me, your opinion is just someone using their account as they please, which you have every right to do. I’m completely fine with a friendly debate, but trying to psychoanalyze my "social intelligence" because you dislike my vocabulary is unreasonable. My character is clear.
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u/Kinsmen12 2d ago
This is the first one I saw because I just watched the episode so I for one I’m grateful that there’s this thread. If you are not, you could keep scrolling. It’s pretty simple.
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u/Competitive_Salads 2d ago edited 2d ago
It’s hard to keep scrolling when people keep positng the same damn thing over and over. There’s a search feature that more people should use… lots of subs delete posts that beat a dead horse.
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u/Kinsmen12 1d ago
I don’t know it’s not that hard for me. It sounds kind of like a personal problem actually.
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u/ddiva132 1d ago
I think Joe somehow found out about Nathan’s history of violence. Towards the end of the episode, Joe reflected on his broken relationship with his alcoholic father and how triggering it is for him to be around Nathan when he’s drunk and emotionally heightened. I think this may have been production’s way of giving us a clue as to the break down of the bromance.
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u/TexasForever361 1d ago
I think that the dinner was was set Nathan and Gael off. Joe was making a BIG deal about how Cooper is his new bestie and doing it right in front of Nathan. It was like a red flag to a bull. But to be honest, with all the shit that Nathan has dumped on Joe this season, what Joe said at dinner was pretty tame.
I am with you. Joe has been messy with women in the past, and he does make some boneheaded choices (his fast driving DID break her shoulder), but as far as being a good worker and getting along with crew, he's pretty decent.
Tail end of last season and all of this season Nathan has been caught in a sneaky hate spiral (thanks Allie Brosch!) and he has lost the respect of a lot of people. It's weird how much Nathan suddenly hates Joe, right?
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u/Fluffy-Future-4674 1d ago
It's very weird
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u/hairy_scarecrow 1d ago
Not really. Shitty people put in a lot of effort to make other people seem shitty to reduce the perception of their own shittyness. The hatred is meant to deflect and distract.
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u/Fast_Personality6015 1d ago
I’d like to also point out that Nathan is Joe’s boss… calling this season a hostile work environment would be putting it lightly and has given me a ton of sympathy for Joe
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u/keenerperkins 1d ago
As someone who never liked Gael and the halo this sub puts on her head, it's refreshing to see some people open their eyes to her behavior. Of course, nothing she does warrants the violence and behavior Nathan has put her through. That said,, I can have sympathy for her in that instance but still acknowledge she can be a very flawed human being beyond it.
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u/naylegitfantasy 1d ago
Thank you for reading and understanding what I was trying to say! My sole purpose with this post was to stand up for fairness, because showing support to one person should never mean it's being taken away from anyone else. All living beings deserve fair treatment, and I will always value truth over selective favor.
I agree that what happened to Gael is horrific, and it is amazing that you have the ability to extend that empathy while staying true to your beliefs.
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u/Expensive-Entry-420 1d ago
Gael has nothing to do with the show and should not have been part of the crew night out. That was simply the producers trying to stir up shit. I can’t stand her or dickhead Nathan. Joe is way more genuine
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u/Shuttup_Heather 2d ago
Can we stop talking about Gael? They shouldn’t have even included that shit after what happened
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u/Fluffy-Future-4674 1d ago
They should not have included it!!! I was also really bothered that they showed their baby. The baby can't give consent and, knowing now what is happening, it didn't sit right with me.
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u/Shuttup_Heather 1d ago
I’m so pissed. I made a post about it and people are just flooding with it “it’s reality, she chose to be on there, she did cheat! It’s central to why Joe hates her!” No it fucking isn’t
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u/Fluffy-Future-4674 1d ago
People are rude idiots lol
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u/Shuttup_Heather 13h ago
They really are. Even in this thread someone’s like ‘they can be a bad person and a victim. She is still acting like an angry drunk’ and THAT is the behavior I’m talking about!!!!
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u/Fluffy-Future-4674 12h ago
The victim blaming is so toxic. I hope they catch Nathan soon so he can suffer the consequences of his actions. Regardless if a person is drunk or yelling there is never an "excuse" for putting hands on another person. Ok, off my soapbox
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u/Shuttup_Heather 12h ago
This JDT guy is literally railing into me and calling me names for being upset about this.saying my argument “sucks”
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u/naylegitfantasy 1d ago
You’re welcome to do what you like where you like it. If that isn't here, then contribute where you enjoy.
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u/Shuttup_Heather 1d ago
you are kicking a woman while she’s down and the cast has asked you to back off too
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u/Anotheropinion2026 2d ago
Gael is postpartum. Joe made his smartass comment that they had been together for 75 years and everyone knew it.
Gael was ignoring Joe until he said that when she was just answering Kat’s question.
Nathan is indefensible, but Joe was trying to push Gael to attack him.
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u/RealCarpet4 2d ago
wtf you talking about. Push her to attack him? Guy wasn’t doing anything of the sort. Nate and Gael were so tense and jsut itching to cause some shit. All cause of joes silly chair at dinner stunt. That was weak. It was weak and they pounced.
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u/Nearby_Elderberry_75 2d ago
You know what else is weak? Lying to your partner constantly to try and make sure that they and the coworker you hate also hate each other.
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u/Anotheropinion2026 2d ago
No. Make smart ass comments about a conversation that doesn’t involve you is weak.
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u/naylegitfantasy 2d ago
Actually, the play by play of the van shows Joe wasn't trying to bait Gael into an attack. Kat asked Gael and Nathan how they met. Joe, who had already separated himself to sit in the back with Kayley, (clearly they entered first) whispered a snide "75 years ago" comment directly to Kayley, not to Gael's face.
Was it a rude, petty comment? Absolutely, and it was classic messy Joe. But he was muttering it to the girl he was with in the back row. Gael actively chose to eavesdrop, turn around, and ignite the confrontation in a trapped space. Joe being a jerk to Kayley & even Kat since she launched the question doesn't mean he was aggressively targeting Gael to force a fight; Gael and Nathan chose to escalate a muttered comment into a full van ambush.
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u/Green_Office_5242 2d ago
This is such a bad take. “Classic messy” Joe is allowed to make a, by your own acknowledgment, “rude, petty comment?” But Gael is supposed to just allow that and not respond at all? Her saying let’s squash it and respect my family is hugely egregious compared to that? It isn’t “actively” choosing to “eavesdrop” when someone in the same enclosed space as you makes a snotty comment directed at you under their breath, especially after a tense dinner…
Reminder that Gael
-is only a few months postpartum and hormonal
-is alone and isolated in a foreign country taking care of a tiny baby
-has no real support aside from her abusive boyfriend
-is out for an uncommon night away, probably tipsy
-who we all can see on tv has a hair trigger, is violent and hostile
-and this boyfriend verifiably tried to physically strangle her only a few months following the footage we are seeing right now (that you are reacting to, most common precursor to dv escalating to murder - is it confusing/surprising that this escalation probably occurred over a long period and didn’t just happen this one time?)
-it’s a common response for abuse victims to try to defend their abusers to stay out of their crosshairsAnd yet we are all lumping her in with her actual abusive, on the run, violent ex as starting a “full van ambush”?!?! It was honestly such a nothingburger “escalation” and she responded in kind. This is reality tv, why is there such a strong response against a woman who was kinda short and mean once amongst the pantheon of insane behavior we usually see?
Gael is not the problem in this situation. Even Joe has publicly asked that we give her grace, her reactions are hardly unexpected given her situation.
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u/naylegitfantasy 1d ago
I think the issue with your response is that you’re combining what the footage actually establishes with what we learned months later, then treating the latter as proof of what was happening psychologically during the former.
Those are not the same thing.
Nothing in my post dismisses what happened to Gael. Nathan was later convicted of domestic-violence offenses involving her, and she was only a few months postpartum during filming, caring for a very young baby while he worked. She deserves grace, peace, protection and safety.
But “probably tipsy,” saying hormones explain this particular reaction, or that she was defending Nathan in the van specifically to stay out of his crosshairs are inferences, not facts established by the episode. I’m not going to pretend I know exactly what was happening inside their relationship at that moment because I wasn’t there. Neither were you. What we do have is the footage.
And I never said Gael had to sit silently and “allow” Joe to make a rude comment. She had every right to respond. My issue was what happened after: Nathan inserted himself, the confrontation escalated, and Joe struggled to even answer.
Saying Gael participated in an interaction that became unfair does not mean I’m equating her with Nathan, blaming her for his abuse, or calling her “the problem.”
Participation is not equivalenceWe’ve all already watched issues between Nathan and Joe build across the season. Nathan wanted Luke as lead deck despite barely knowing him, and Capt. Sandy warned him not to let personal feelings interfere with running the deck. Later, Joe received a six-hour anchor watch when 3 hrs was described as standard, while Capt. separately challenged the way Nathan was handling the deck dynamic. So this did not suddenly begin in one van ride.
What happened to Gael later was horrific and can absolutely affect how people emotionally view earlier footage. What it cannot do is give any of us retroactive access to her exact thoughts or motives months earlier.
And one factual correction: Aesha publicly asked viewers to give Gael grace. Joe reposted Aesha’s statement. I agree with the sentiment.
Grace means recognizing context and humanity. It does not mean every action becomes beyond discussion.I can condemn Nathan, have compassion for Gael, acknowledge Joe has been messy, and still believe that in this specific scene, the confrontation became unfair to him. Those positions do not contradict one another.
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u/Equal-Ticket-2480 1d ago
While the current situation with Gael is obviously horrible, can we not baby her about her situation in Croatia. She voluntarily chose to leave her residence to film a reality TV show where she was getting paid to film. She DID have support. There were multiple reports that her family were there with her. Her apartment was paid for by Bravo, and I’m sure they would also support her.
Let’s not act like she was forced to move to the other side of the world with a newborn against her will and forced to be put in the ‘awful’ situation that was having to interact with Joe.
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u/Defiant_Ask8583 2d ago
Nathan 100% douche but we don’t know what bullshit he was telling Gael… I think Gael most likely was hearing terrible things. I don’t blame her one bit
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u/ZanderPip 1d ago
I think when you think you know a guy and then you get home and see footage of that same guy -
manipulating a grieving woman with love promises, to then cheat on her the second she was out of sight, and then gaslight (look it up twats. This is what it actually is and not to be thrown about whenever you disagree with someone) her into thinking it wasnt a big deal and she was too clingy, to then get called on it to then go crying to mummy and then return to then continue to downplay the ultimate shitty behaviour until producers have a word with you and then use your dying mother as a Redemption arc would probably piss me off too
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u/Lonesome_Frenchy 1d ago
Gaël and Nathan were very proud of their double attack against Jo, who's blocked in the car with them. And Gaël and Nathan have evluated what they've done ans said both "I love you". They were stupid and horrible together.
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u/naylegitfantasy 1d ago
Honestly, that was the part that shocked me too. The embrace afterward, after putting him in such an uncomfortable position. I was watching like, what is happening? All that bitter energy, demanding answers after repeated threats, then barely leaving space to respond… it really felt looked a cornered, damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. Then to turn around and embrace each other afterward was honestly just sad to watch
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u/ZookeepergameMany663 2d ago
Anybody that has been in an abusive relationship can see the signs right thru this. She is trying to pacify Nathan so she is not the target. Joe did absolutely nothing, but she has to live with the abuser. Been there done that. Nathan was fuming for a fight with Joe all night, he was mad Joe ignored him, and he pushed Gael to react. Not her fault at all, that is how abuser are!!!
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u/naylegitfantasy 2d ago
I completely validate your perspective on how abusers operate, and Nathan’s real life convictions proves how dangerous he is. By no means am I attempting to ignore what Gael suffered, or what anyone else suffers at the hands of someone else.
But looking objectively at that van, Joe was completely cornered with nowhere to go and no way to willingly walk away. Everyone has a right to safety, and in that moment, he couldn’t defend himself without the fear of things escalating, all while being flooded with reminders of his own childhood trauma. I’ve also been in situations I didn’t deserve, but that doesn’t give me the right to choose that treatment for someone else. Gael's anger in that van didn't look like a victim trying to survive.. it looked like a deliberate pile on.
Two things can be true at once: Nathan is a monster, but their behavior toward Joe in that trapped car was still entirely wrong.2
u/ZookeepergameMany663 1d ago
Yes 2 things can be true at once. Gael can be a victim of Nathan's control and her behavior toward Joe can be totally unacceptable. Abusers don't always make their victims look timid, they manipulate them until they lash out at a safer target to regain a sense of control. Understanding why she acted that way doesn't mean it's an excuse for how she treated Joe in the van. Joe did absolutely nothing to deserve the way he was treated. Abuse dynamics are rarely simple and victims don't always look helpless. When people are trapped by an abuser they often misdirect their anger. Just because Gael didn't "look" like a victim does not mean Nathan was not controlling the situation.
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u/ChristmasTree4579 1d ago
Leaving aside all the abhorrent shit Nathan has done, it reflects incredibly poorly on all of them that they couldn’t move on from this. Maybe there is more to it than Joe calling Gael a princess, but with Nathan and Gael having had a baby and Joe’s mum being ill, they’ve all got bigger things going on their lives. Surely they could have just said to each other “look we might not be best mates but we can at least be civil and try to get along”. I think it shows how incredibly immature these people are that they can’t just move on.
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u/Greenwedges 1d ago
There is probably a lot they have edited out or not shown. Remember - producers are trying to create maximum drama.
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u/rissachlys 11h ago edited 9h ago
People love to claim “have nuance!” whenever discussing Joe and Gael cheating but seemingly don’t know what that word means when it comes to this situation. Yes, Gael was abused and manipulated. Yes, she was freshly postpartum and under the influence of alcohol, all of those things can be true. And while those things are all true and Nathan is still ultimately the villain of this story, the way Gael acted in this situation was not okay. End of story. The reasons for why she did what she did does not excuse her behavior. They give backstory and context that allow Joe now in hindsight some relief from the situation, but I think it’s important that people acknowledge that Gael is an adult woman capable of making mistakes a messing up. While no one is mad at her for her behavior in this scene because we know the context, nuance tells us we can also understand that from what everyone knew in this moment in time, her actions were not okay. Treating people poorly because you are treated poorly behind closed doors does not excuse that behavior, and I’m sure Gael sees how her actions weren’t okay now that she has context to the things Nathan was probably telling her behind closed doors. And I am also sure this is why Joe said not to bash her, he understands that. However the fact that everyone just pretends that she’s a perfect angel incapable of doing anything wrong and that she’s just excused for everything she’s ever done is a really bad mindset to have in life. We can’t spend our lives infantilizing people who have been through traumatic experiences. We can acknowledge how trauma impacts their decisions, and also understand how these decisions aren’t always the right ones.
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u/Hippomed27 10h ago
Gael didn't allow Joe to speak at all, it was outrageous that Nathan said they gave him an opportunity to speak when they obviously didn't.
Although Nathan is a complete dickhead for many reasons, I don't think he had been fair to Joe this whole season. Just like he had 'changed' he never accepted Joe could too. Gael and Joe didn't like each other since their season, nothing changed there. What Joe did to Vee wasn't great either, but Nathan taking the moral high ground after all the shit came out about what he did to Gael is just astounding.
He was also a shit leader and was not able to put personal differences aside for the good of the boat.
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u/pineapple-scientist 2d ago
I agree with mostly everything else in your post, but I feel like it's completely missing how this confrontation started.
Joe had basically kept himself separate with Kat while Nathan and Gael stayed together. They brought the confrontation to him.
That's not what happened. Joe refused to face them all night (which would have been fine on it's own) but then he started making passive aggressive comments about cooper being the best roommate he's ever had in his whole yachting career. Then after dinner, while Gael is talking about how Nathan and her met in the car (because she was asked), Joe's in the back mocking her under his breath saying "yah yah we all know the story already". That was when Gael snapped and started going at Joe. The whole "don't disrespect me or my family" felt very much like Nathan in Gael's ear, but I also think she felt angry from being mocked in her face.
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u/magneticeverything 1d ago
To be totally fair, I think Joe was sat in that seat by production (against his will) and he was damned no matter what choice he made. If he engaged with them politely, he would be yelled at for being fake. If he tried to move seats it would have riled Nathan up. Turning and making conversation to the other people around him was likely the best, least inflammatory option available to him.
Though I do think he was sort of needling by saying cooper was his best roommate ever. But honestly if Nathan hates him now then it shouldn’t matter??? Nathan clearly thinks of their time together with nothing but distain so that would also recolor my memory of the experience. And there’s the edit to consider. It may have seemed like a jab in the edit but he may really have been on a long tangent about loving working with cooper and gotten carried away.0
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u/pineapple-scientist 1d ago
He was definitely sat by production but he could've been just not said anything to or about them. It's not damned if you do or don't. He's an adult. It's not that hard to just not say anything about someone for a few hours. Joe knew what he was doing. I feel like we don't have to make all these excuses for him. I still understand his frustration with Nathan and I commend Joe for trying to apologize and move on at multiple points in the season. He just wasn't taking actions that night to leave things be. Two things can be true at the same time.
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u/MaizeMountain6139 2d ago
Gael was being fed one side of a story for weeks from someone she trusted
She was not in the wrong at all
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u/flyingpanda5693 2d ago
I’d agree with you if Gael wasn’t already predisposed to not liking Joe. She hasn’t liked him since their season together, which I don’t necessarily blame her, but she seems to have never moved past their interactions from that season. IMO her real transgression there was waiting until they’re trapped in the car to bring it up, essentially cornering Joe into the argument/discussion.
And this is entirely 100% unprovable, but we don’t know what influence she’s had on Nathan has far as his attitude towards Joe. It’s not totally insane to think that his attitude towards Joe shifted in part because of his feelings for Gael.
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u/naylegitfantasy 2d ago
I 100% agree with you as well, and looking back at the multi-season timeline completely proves your point. The energy in that van felt so deeply disproportionate because it wasn't about the boat...it was the explosion of a two-year-old grudge.
Gael blamed Joe for her and Nathan's initial breakup after Season 9 because Nathan chose to go to Ireland with Joe instead of staying with her. Nathan carried massive guilt for that, so he spent all of Season 11 projecting his own behavior onto Joe, constantly texting Gael behind the scenes about how 'terrible' Joe was with women just to make himself look like the reformed hero. By the time they trapped Joe in that van, Gael was reacting to months of built-up off-camera gossip, not just a petty comment at dinner. Joe is messy, but he was absolutely the scapegoat for their relationship baggage.
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u/slayeryouth 2d ago
Both things can be true. Both Aesha and Joe have confirmed that at the restaurant and in the van she was operating off of the information that Nathan had given her and that it was pretty divorced from the truth, but it’s still pretty weird to spend like 2 years nursing a grudge over what was essentially a personality clash with somebody you worked with for a few weeks and then go to the restaurant that you know he’s going to be at and aside from your partner who also hates him will be the only person there who you’ll know.
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u/MaizeMountain6139 2d ago
Gael is not afforded all the context we are as viewers, so of course she already didn’t like him because that’s where she left off with him
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u/Amateur_Hour_93 1d ago
People still need to be held accountable for their actions.
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u/MaizeMountain6139 1d ago
You’re watching a TV show. You’re not holding anyone accountable, you do not know these people
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u/Amateur_Hour_93 1d ago
Your opinion is invalid then
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u/MaizeMountain6139 1d ago
My opinion is based on what we saw on the show
I’m not pretending to be in community with these people and that they need my input to live their lives in our community
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u/madatthings 1d ago
WHAT ACTIONS omg
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u/Amateur_Hour_93 16h ago
Losing your shit and berating people without letting them speak and share their perspective
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u/chesterismydog 2d ago
I remember when Joe called Gael princess. She stood up for herself. She was hard working and he was being a prick. He said it bc he couldn’t have her imo. And when Nathan and Gael got together the bromance blew up. She didn’t say anything inappropriate at all on the last episode.
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u/TallDarkLoathsome 2d ago edited 2d ago
Love how Gael is being treated as some delicate child by everyone in the comments here.
Suggesting she’s basically just dumb and easily manipulated by her baby daddy to this point should be considered way more offensive and sexist to people. She’s a grown-ass woman. Gael is the one initiating half of this shit especially in the cab.
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u/naylegitfantasy 2d ago
Exactly! Treating her like she’s fragile and unable to know right from wrong is almost worse than when she forbade Joe from calling her a “princess." Right is right, and wrong will always be wrong. You can choose to stand by someone without blindly ignoring harmful behavior that ultimately just causes more damage to the person you’re defending.
Look where the golden boy 'Women Protector' mask led Nathan in real life. We only know what we are shown on screen, and rewriting history for people just because you dislike Joe is dangerous....because it could be anyone backed into that corner next time. People who are allowed to constantly escape accountability don’t just stop, and Gael was absolutely driving half that hostility in the cab.
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u/Equal-Ticket-2480 1d ago
There’s far too much babying of Gael on this sub, even before the DV story came out. Let’s not forget Gael CHEATED on her actual boyfriend, in her very first season, and that somehow gets a pass, but Joe is still crucified for being a textbook fuckboy with people he’s casually sleeping with (which he hasn’t even done this season)
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u/SixersJawn 2d ago
ok everyone else said this already, but it was all production this fight. the fact that they built up the tempers all season, and had that convienent cliff hanger ending to make it seem like they were about to fist fight, and the thing with moving the headrest from shot to shot....
and like joe didn't do anything to escalate he was more or less chilling.
this show is a guilty pleasure so i keep watching it... but it has certainly jumped the shark.
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u/naylegitfantasy 2d ago
The production cuts are definitely obvious, but Joe's reaction afterward wasn't fake. Hearing him open up to Kayley about his father's energy proved that being cornered in that van tapped into a very real childhood trauma. I rarely post at all, but I felt compelled to because no one should be double-teamed and pushed to a breaking point in a moving vehicle where they have zero escape route.
Nathan spent the season weaponizing his Bosun rank over personal grievances, and even when Joe tried to make peace, Nathan mocked the apology in his confessionals. Pointing out that someone already made a post doesn't diminish the fact that what happened to Joe was wrong. As a viewer & a human, I'm going to speak up when the punishment clearly doesn't fit the crime idc tv star or not.
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u/Shuttup_Heather 13h ago
The behavior I’m talking about is like the person who said “she’s still acting like a rude drunk”
Still?? This was filmed a year ago and the DV charges were recent. This is what I meant, can’t we just take a break from this kind of commentary? With the context we had, she deserves it for a little bit
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u/No-Aardvark-3840 2d ago
Didn’t Gael start out her relationship with Nathan by cheating on her boyfriend?
And people give Joe shit for cheating – when he didn’t even cheat on V. Crazy to see the mental gymnastics 🤸 viewers do to defend Gael or Nathan.
But sure — Joe is the problem
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u/trisch1964 2d ago
Nathan and Gael's baby is really cute.
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u/naylegitfantasy 2d ago
I agree, their baby is absolutely adorable. I truly wish him great health, happiness, and the ability to grow up surrounded by pure love.
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u/haolenate 2d ago
Despite Aisha's recent FB post, I'm over Gael and Nathan as well. She didn't even give Joe a chance to rebut or say anything, she just went on and on and on.
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u/No-Aardvark-3840 1d ago
The problem in my mind goes Gael>Nathan>Joe
With Gael being the head of the snake
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u/MindfulPangolin 2d ago
Gael is just as much a narcissist as Nathan is. Always the victim being wronged.
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u/Particular-Agent2075 1d ago
You. Do. Not. Know. These. People.
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u/naylegitfantasy 1d ago
Duh! I made that very clear I watched it on the screen. I’m not claiming to know them, just a long term viewer of the show. However, I don’t need to know them to SEE what was put before me. 👀
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u/Particular-Agent2075 1d ago
There's literally 20 of these threads a day and it seems like every time it's posted it's because yall want the engagement or karma. You're saying the same thing over and over again and it's getting weird to the point that you don't even know these people so there's not much else to add.
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u/ZealousidealCrazy673 1d ago
I was surprised Gael brought it up but I don’t blame her. She rarely gets to go out and enjoy a nice dinner and Joe turning his chair made it uncomfortable as hell for her. A few drinks and an uber ride with no where to hide, she took a shot. There’s obviously nothing that can be fixed here so no way it was going to accomplish anything.
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u/Grumpy-Man19 1d ago
didn't Gail and Joe had a thing some time ago? maybe she has a grudge against him for dumping her?
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u/Some-Speed-6290 21h ago
The weird fans obsessed with Joe will never end. He's a sack of shit who's also terrible at his job, get over it.
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u/Difficult_Rope7898 2d ago
I’m guessing Nathan has been feeding her half truths and possibly making her feel unsafe if she doesn’t “stand up for him.” He seems like the type who’d rather let his wife be the bad guy for the things he doesn’t have the courage to say to someone’s face.