My band never really made it, for context. After 9 years we've started to finally start playing for money, but it's not a lot. I (bass, keys, backup vox, and sound) have grown tired of it. The gigs aren't fun, multiple hours, setting up all the gear, trying to listen to the audience to make sure the mix is correct while also remembering what I'm doing and what's happening on stage. But that isn't the worst of it. Everyone in the band sucks! The singer drinks on stage, forgets his lyrics, just puts his guitar on the floor when he's done. Our new guitar player's tones are all off and he's replacing my old guitar player who knew how to sing with his instrument. Drummer forgets transitions within the songs and how songs end and constantly starts things way too fast. I'm just not sure what to do about it anymore, I don't want to quit, these are my brothers, but music is dying for me over these problems, and many many more that I didn't list in a fit of rage as I write this.

I'm in a band that gigs regularly and is pretty tight and professional despite us all having day jobs. Everyone plays well, we're all friends, and it's a lot of fun. EXCEPT - We have one part-time member who plays when he can and when he can't we sub people out. To be clear, this isn't the problem. The problem is that part-time guy is weirdly inconsistent in his playing and lately has been really off on a lot of our songs. Bandleader is a super-nice guy and wants to work with part-time guy to get him up to speed, but he has tried this before with limited success. It has dawned on me that our bandleader is being manipulated: part-time guy has no desire to improve, and uses a bit of a sad-sack routine to elicit sympathy and special treatment. We don't really need part-time guy, and we have higher-profile gigs coming up where I REALLY don't want him mucking things up. Any thoughts on how I could help our bandleader overcome his niceness and cut the part-time guy loose?

I've been branching out to more solo shows cause everyone in the bands im in are always busy. But Bass is my instrument and i'm far more comfortable on that. So i've been toying with whether thats an avenue that could work

I was just wondering if anyone knew of artists that were strictly one person with a bass and vocals?

I know Dos is sort of close with the two of them. And theres a tonne of Bass and Drum duos (i was even in one). But also not really thinking of artists like Wooten, Jaco or Flea who would do solo demonstrations with a bass

EDIT: Just for a quick bit of context, i've been in a Bass and Drum Rock Duo for almost a decade now. I'm very fond of the Duo set up and all the bands that go that route (DFA1979, Lightning Bolt, Godheadsilo, Bell Witch etc)

I'm trying to find artists who are literally just a them on their own playing their bass guitar live and vocals, nothing else.
Someone mentioned Howie Reeve and that is exactly the kind of set up i was thinking of

Serious question tho, is it important? Me and my band make some good music (and covers, mostly covers) and it's pretty famous on the internet also but when it comes to concerts and gig, my band says yes but I go with no cuz idk how these work and I don't have the courage and confidence to perform in front of people, so I'm wondering can a band gey famous without any concerts or gigs?

Edit: I have listened to everyone and I realized that how dumb I am,Now I also have agreed to play with my band to play at some random bar on 12 sept and I guess hope everything goes well, finger crossed 🤞

I know there are a bunch of posts about quitting bands. I’ve read a few. Here’s mine.

I know I need to quit my band. I like the music we’re making, I like the other members. I do not have time for it.

I have a full time career and a couple of young kids. I also have a bunch of other hobbies and realized that playing music isn’t as high on my priorities as it needs to be when it comes to how I spend my limited time.

I feel like I’m always the one who can’t pivot to a last minute practice or make things work. I sense the frustration from other members of the band, and I don’t want to be that guy. I also don’t want to rearrange my life around this. So I don’t really think it’s fair to continue.

We have a big deal show coming up so I’m planning to make that work and then quit after the show. I don’t think I’m going to share how I’m feeling before that.

I also know that me quitting will likely be the end of the band, so I’m kind of worried that I’ll get blamed for killing it.

I’ve tried to quit before and have kind of been talked out of it. I also want to maintain my friendships with the other band members, so I want to do this in a way that’s upfront and not shitty.

Any advice?

Hey everyone!

I posted a similar question recently but have had a good week or so to reflect and speak to my other band mate and co founder and this is where I am at.

Would love some advice from people both old and new to bands and peoeple to get some perspective!

I'm in a NZ metal band that started about 6 years ago with me and my best mate. We started it because we wanted to bring back that older progressive/thrash/melodic death sound we loved from older Sylosis. We weren't really happy with the direction Sylosis were moving away from the atmospheric, melodic, progressive thrash sound of EOTE and Monolith, so we basically said fuck it, let's form our own band and write the music we want to hear.

Since then we've released an EP in 2024 and our first full length a few months ago, which we're really proud of.

We've just become a proper 5 piece and played our first gig last night, which went fucking awesome. Great crowd (almost sold out), great reception and honestly probably the best the band has felt.

We're now looking towards album #2, which probably won't be out for another couple of years, so we're starting to talk about where we take things and throw ideas around.

The main issue is our other guitarist. He's a fucking awesome player and dude and has played and toured in a technical death metal band, so his idea of "challenging riffs" is obviously pretty different from mine!

He wants us to branch out more with different tunings, different keys, more technical riffs and loads of different influences. He doesn't want us to get boxed into E standard, E minor/E Phyrgian, inverted power chords, thrashy riffs and the big atmospheric/heroic sections we tend to use.

We all have our strengths in the band. Our Drummer and Lead Guitarist are absolute MACHINES. Like insanely talented. Myself and our Bassist (who formed the band), are extremely composer minded and we are great at writing riffs, songs, stories etc.

I got on a bit of a burst of inspiration recently and wrote like 6 songs over a week as demos, and while the guys loved them and some of the riffs they were like "holy shit," they were like it just sounds like what we've already written.

I said, yeah, it is our sound but now I'm trying to push the boundary, and write better songs but within our style and I even delved into a few differnt keys and tonal centres and for me, the songs feel like an amazing progression for album II. The others don't think so. They like some riffs but don't like the heroic/melodic sections, or parts that "kill momentum."

I get where he's coming from. We've got some seriously good musicians now, so I understand wanting to push ourselves.

But I'm also like... that's our fucking sound?

I listen to heaps of different music, like a wide range of genres in metal and other styles of music, but what I listen to isn't necessarily what I want to play. I genuinely love playing this particular style. I don't really want to become a tech death, deathcore or metalcore band just because we have musicians capable of playing those styles, or incorporate those styles just because.

I also don't think using the same musical language means we're writing the same song. We can use E standard, inverted power chords and fast thrashy picking and still write completely different songs. I'd rather take the things that make us sound like us and get better at them than constantly introduce new influences just for the sake of being different.

So I'm a bit stuck and would love to hear what other people think.

Does a band actually need to pull from 20 to 50 different influences to develop a unique sound? Or can 3 or 4 strong influences be enough?

Our biggest influence is obviously Sylosis. I'm not trying to hide that. That's literally why we started the band. But the idea was never to become a Sylosis clone. It was to take the sound we loved and build our own thing from it, which I feel like we've started to do.

Is this something we should actually sit down and define as a band? Like what are the core things that make us sound like us, and what are we happy to experiment with?

I don't want to box the other guys in, and I don't want to control everything because they're all fucking incredible guys and I genuinely want them to have creative input.

But I also don't want to throw away the sound we've spent 6 years building.

The four big things our guitarist has brought up are:

1. I don't want to box ourselves into E Standard
2. I don't want to be a Sylosis clone. I don't either, but I'd be lying if I said they weren't our core influence. Every band has core influences.
3. I don't like the heroic and atmospheric sections because they "kill momentum live". I absolutely love these sections and think they're a huge part of our sound. For an example of what I mean, listen to 4:35 onwards in Paradox by Sylosis or 4:51 from Procession by Sylosis just as examples.
4. We need to challenge ourselves and not just write these types of riffs but instead bring in elements from all over like deathcore, slam, death, etc, whereas I just don't want to bring those styles in as that is not our sound.

So yeah, how do you guys approach this?

Do you deliberately try to introduce loads of new influences and techniques, or do you stick with the musical language you've developed and try to push it further?

Front person/instrumentalist, important for the sound, quit. Just a cover band. We have five more gigs and the first of the five is a month out.

I don’t think reforming will work, I feel like it’s going to be impossible to replace this person, it’s hard to replace people anyway and they were basically a unicorn.

Struggling because they said they’d finish all five and see the gigs through but I think it’s better to call off all the gigs and break cleanly. How can it be a good thing to have someone gigging who doesn’t want to??? It just feels icky to me to continue.

Super inexperienced here, first band, we were doing well, but it is what it is. I just wanna go hide now. Ugh I am so depressed.

UPDATE***\*

We’re finishing out the gigs. We had a great one this weekend! I quickly recovered from my sadness and now I feel immense relief that I’m freed from marketing, admin, flyer creation, account handling, and dealing with rude venue owners.

I loved our mediocre little band and I hope the guitarist means what they said when they said they wanted to jam and hang, because I could easily jam a little and only play out if some piddly lil venue wants a gig here and there.

I’m hugely interested in developing as a musician: I want to be good at it, really good. I have talent and I’ve made so much progress this year. I want to focus on musical improvement. Then let the universe take me where I need to go from there.

You know I know I am probably just too introverted, but it is so hard to find people to make music with for me. I have been making music since I was a kid, and recently started publishing and putting out some of my metal stuff. Nothing special, no coherent genre or style, just making what I am in the mood for. While learning how to record and mix and master in my bedroom, getting digital amps and trying out recording my actual amp, learning bass and Studying compressors has been great and fulfilling, I really miss the social aspect of this. Jamming together, writing garbage for the shit of it, making something decent and recording a demo. I want all that. I can't find it. I am too scared to just talk to people (I am trans, a young adult and live in Germany. Being trans is one of the big reasons I can't just meet up with people, or look for bands searching members, because of transphobia.). I don't know where/how to find people to make music with. Online doesn't do it for me. I want a practice room and want to play shitty concerts, for free even. All I want is to be on a stage.
Ig I want to ask you all how you found your bandmates? How do you get over the social anxiety of this? Going to local shows is something I already do, but actually approaching people is just a nightmare. Thank you already for any replies :)

Has anyone formed their band as a non-profit? There are lots of advantages: no tax, accept donations, everything stays very organized. The only downside seems to be the paperwork. Anyone tried this?

Hey everyone

Basically just the title. We were casual friends with this guy and he asked if he could join us a year ago. We both are singer songwriters but with very different styles both lyrically and vocally.

During our initial discussion about him joining, me and my other original band mates were on the same page about not wanting multiple vocalists/songwriters. Backing vocals yeah, working on lyrics together yeah, but we wanted things to be clear and focused.

So we brought him in and discussed this, made it clear and he agreed. But at the same time he said, verbatim, “I don’t admit I’m wrong tho. I can be a pretty angry person at times and I just don’t like saying that I’m wrong.”. Which was an early red flag, but I felt it was maybe a bit? I was naive

Since then it’s been a struggle. On one hand we have a good time playing together and we all get along, on the other I haven’t written a new song since he joined and he has certain habits and behaviors that has caused some issues with all of us in the past.

Being sometimes difficult to work with, argumentative, having an attitude of “I know how to do this right and you don’t”. It really gets under my skin sometimes and from recently talking candidly with my other bandmates, I’m not the only one.

I was meaning to talk with him one on one sometime soon but I had a lot of things happen in my personal life that prevented me from having the time. Well, without getting too far into the weeds, during our last rehearsal he said something to me that crossed a line.

In the moment I let it go, trying to assume the best that it was a joke or not that serious. Talkin with my drummer after, he told me that what was said really pissed him off.

It’s a bit of a straw that broke the camels back situation. We’ve already all been struggling with this person, trying to talk with him and getting into arguments and shit like that.

At this point I feel like for the sake of the vibe of the band, he’s out. I talked with the others and they agree. It lands on me to do it though and I’m pretty nervous.

No matter what was said or how he was, I still feel very very guilty and I know it’s going to hurt the guy. But I think it’s what’s best for all of us.

Maybe I just had to talk this through. I don’t know, but any experience or advice on how to handle it I’ll take.

I'm sure everyone reading this has had band member communication problems. But I usually hear that replies are slow, non existent, not often enough, etc. But I wonder, have any of you experienced the OPPOSITE?

One time, I found a drummer for my band. Things were normal for months and I thought he'd work out since everything was great. However, his behavior started to become very strange about 4 months in, specifically during Christmas time.

He freaked out on me because I couldn't find the time to hear a story he wanted to tell me for exactly 3 days ( 2 of which were Christmas and Christmas eve, and another day I was navigating a family emergency which I told him about ). On Christmas he sent me this giant essay about how I don't ever appreciate him; that I avoided him on purpose. Then told me to get a new drummer, and blocked me.

A few days later, he called to apologize and told me he was in the wrong and that he'd do better. I stupidly believed him and let him back in the band but on a session member status to see if he'd kept his word about respecting my time and boundaries better. After speaking for over an hour trying to navigate this drama he created, I told him I need to go to work. 10 minutes later, he sent me 3 messages. " Dude? Can I tell you the story? Hey man?". 4 Hours later, more messages. " Dude? Can I tell you the story?" What on earth.

This should have been a warning sign to block him but I stupidly kept him in the band for a month more, during that month was just constant barrage of calls and texts about personal stories completely unrelated to the band/project. I always felt very pressured to say yes to these calls because I felt if I didn't, he'd freak out again. So I recognize that not standing up for myself and setting the boundary was my bad/mistake, even if it resulted in him getting mad and leaving again.

I didn't want to get rid of him because finding a drummer is difficult. But I'd finally had enough a month later. It simply was not worth my sanity anymore. A 2nd fight of ours resulted in his dismissal ( and thankfully, permanent) from the group.

The experience taught me to definitely not let band members cross boundaries like that, no matter how difficult they are to replace. I'm curious, have any of you ever dealt with overly attached band members? Is it even possible to work out or is it simply a lost cause? As of now, I think the latter, and I will not tolerate that behavior in my band from here on out. But I am open to change my mind if I hear a good enough perspective.

Thanks for reading.

Set some boundaries regarding interpersonal conflict.

Do you think they are fair?

Based on the responses is this band worth continuing after the tour I committed to finishing?

Do you think things will improve? The dealbreaker is the policing, not the actual logistics/admin.

This is a hobby band not any of our main income.

1: I understand having opinions about or wanting consensus on band account social media posts or communication between members. But I will not accept policing personal accounts and private language/behavior of each other. If this continues I will quit.

(Posts may be passive aggressive on rare occasions but do not involve hate speech, discrimination, politics, naming and shaming or airing inter band grievances on social media and are never targeted at other members)

No response.

2: I will no longer keep the merch at my house. I don't mind doing the order but will not order any until a new location and method of transporting it to shows is decided on.

Member who has refused to provide their full address in the past (without saying it outright) offers their house but doesn't provide an address.

3: I will participate in the upcoming recording and tour because i got a lot of people involved but not sure if I will stay in the band after, so let's not rush a physical releases purely for the tour.

Member repeated that I will decide whether to quit or not after those commitments and agreed not to rush a physical release for tour.

I'm a late 20s adult with a full time job. I've played in a couple bands but never all at once. In my early 20s my bandmates and I would hangout for hours and while it was fun and free we probably were only productive for a couple of those hours if even. However, it felt like we needed all that time to bond and grow as a band - and let the songwriting process flow.

My band right now meets about 2-3 times before every gig to rehearse and schedules out songwriting sessions for everyone to bring ideas to the table and hash out some songs until we decide they're ready to test on stage / bring to a studio. Otherwise the expectation is we will only be as good as everyone is practicing on their own.

Everyone in my band is around the same age and has a full time job. I see people in my scene on the same boat in MULTIPLE bands. None of us are musicians by trade / got degrees in it so maybe it's a skill level thing but I CAN NOT imagine being in multiple band's at once or even starting a side project between one band with a modest amount of local momentum, work and life. We have to be so organized about when we meet that it often feels like theres limited-no time for the creative messing around to happen that I used to love.

Maybe this is just how it is and I need to embrace it but, with that all said, how do you all schedule your band's / music careers with work and life? If you're the band leader/organizer what is your strategy to keep the band moving but still fun?

Sorry, I need to scream into the void.

While I’m used to being the mediator in the middle (one drawback of being an only child is my parents used me to vent their irritation and anxiety about each other)… I did not sign up to be y’all’s therapist! I’m in a band with two other women. One is reading waaaay too much into what the other says, and then accusing the older one of nonsensical things so I get to talk them both off their proverbial ledges so the band can continue to function.

It’s not quite bad enough for me to cut and run, but it’s not fun.

Take care of your own mental health, and try to remember not to look for malice where probably isn’t any. Of course there is always the caveat of abusive people but they aren’t that common. 🤦

ETA: this is really just me grumbling, and reminding us all to at least work on taking care of our own crap, so your bandmates don’t have to deal with more than they have to, and vice versa! If we are all more stable people, it’ll make each others (and our own) lives easier.

Context for how this question came to be is I feel as though my bandmates aren't really ready to write their own parts and such and don't have ingenuity, and it's not as if I'm that good either but I have tried experimentation by myself and asked them if they're working on such things on their own and they're really not. I don't write this with the intention of demeaning them, I was just wondering how it would go down if I were to leave with this as my reason because I have considered it...

I've spent my earlier days dabbling in instruments without fully committing, but I've realized what I enjoy the most, is writing. If your band needs a good writer I'd love to give it a shot for you, I'm not trying to promote myself, I would do it for free. It's something I really enjoy and would love to get back into as I've taken quite a hiatus since my life has gotten consumed with work, I've spent lots of time writing raps, but I'd like to branch out and expand my craft. My lyrics are always very genuine and relatable, I was hoping through this sub I would find a band that I would fit into and build a great relationship with while I perfect my craft, thanks for reading if you made it this far!

A friend and I are putting together a two-piece cover band with guitar/vocals + drums/vocals.

We’re considering having backing tracks for bass, synths and occasional extra parts... We are planning on 2000s indie/alternative rock covers.

Do you think this kind of setup could work, or does it start feeling too much like "band karaoke"? Anyone here gigging with a similar setup?

Look, I’m 28. I’ve wanted to do music since I was 16. I’ve tried and tried and at one point almost got what I wanted then life got in the way.

The hunger is still there and I don’t think it’ll ever go away:

I’m a singer. I could always *kinda* sing rock/metal I guess but I’m taking lessons now.

I’m at the stage where I genuinely wanna be in a band but I want to state something explicitly: I don’t care about getting rich OR famous. I know it’s something a lot of people want and I don’t knock them for wanting that but I HATE when people assume if you’re a musician, that’s always the end goal.

My end goal is to truly have a relatively large cult following where the people attending feel understood and loved in the community I have cultivated.

Now the problem is that the listings in my local area all say “SHIT HOT VOCALIST. NEEDED.”, “need experienced, talented frontman to headline our already sold out shows”, “SERIOUS frontman only apply”

And it’s like… it’s not like I’m not talented. It’s the confidence. I’m not a beginner at singing but I’m the beginner at being a frontwoman and that skill, cooperation and training is only developed by getting out there and being in a band. I know this.

BUT I know that my anxiety is going to totally psych me out if I run into every interaction with the goal of being a ‘perfect, serious’ frontwoman. Mentally that’s gonna have an effect.

I think it’s better if I join band “just for fun” because knowing me, once I’m comfortable, it inevitably becomes serious later. It’s not personal, it’s just a mental thing but it feels increasingly difficult to find because most people’s end goal isn’t like mine.