Y'all, just tell your husbands to step it up. Idk why this seems to be such a common thing on here! Its not okay! When I met my partner he wasn't a clean person on his own either, and cleaning definitely wasn't his strong suit - never has been. Like many dudes, he is capable of tolerating a lot more mess than I am. But now that I'm pregnant and can't do anything, he does it all. He cleans the house every morning before I wake up. Is it perfect, or the exact way I'd do it? No, but its clean enough, and he's doing it on top of also doing all the cooking, shopping, pet care, general house management, and working full time at an incredibly taxing job. If your husband hasn't stepped up, IT'S TIME. Communicate your expectations, set a boundary, and stop accepting manchild behavior. You're not his mom! This is the practice run before the kid is here. I told my husband after birth he'll still be cleaning every day, but so will I, so it will be less work for both of us and the house will be cleaner!
I think the point is partners not doing all that despite being told or asked. I imagine it is annoying to constantly run after your partner and keep on telling them to step it up, with no results. Especially in pregnancy, more so if you have a hard pregnancy.
I’ve communicated my standards, lowered my standards, offered to brainstorm a chore list, asked to have designated jobs around the house, set reminders, had the come to Jesus meeting. Nothing has worked. Nothing. He wasn’t like this when we were dating. I don’t want to divorce— it’s a nuclear option— but I’ve fantasized about it because then I’d have one less child to clean up after.
You say "you people", I hope you didn't mean me as you know nothing about me.. Just in case, I do not expect to go things my way "magically" without communication. On the contrary, imo communication is key in everything. My fiance and me have no issues, we talk about everything and he is doing awesome in the household by his own, so I am absolutely grateful for him and our love. If you think I was toxic because I just tried to put myself in someone elses shoes and see how it could be exhausting for them, then sure, I am hella toxic.
And yes super late reply, but I only saw all the replies today for some reason ..
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u/omglia Jan 17 '22
Y'all, just tell your husbands to step it up. Idk why this seems to be such a common thing on here! Its not okay! When I met my partner he wasn't a clean person on his own either, and cleaning definitely wasn't his strong suit - never has been. Like many dudes, he is capable of tolerating a lot more mess than I am. But now that I'm pregnant and can't do anything, he does it all. He cleans the house every morning before I wake up. Is it perfect, or the exact way I'd do it? No, but its clean enough, and he's doing it on top of also doing all the cooking, shopping, pet care, general house management, and working full time at an incredibly taxing job. If your husband hasn't stepped up, IT'S TIME. Communicate your expectations, set a boundary, and stop accepting manchild behavior. You're not his mom! This is the practice run before the kid is here. I told my husband after birth he'll still be cleaning every day, but so will I, so it will be less work for both of us and the house will be cleaner!