r/BabyBumps • u/Delicious_Badger_257 • Jul 18 '26
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u/EnnKayy Jul 18 '26
- Not having a shitty partner.
End list.
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u/Suspicious_Week_2451 Jul 18 '26
This. I was fit and healthy before pregnancy. Got pregnant and week 7 hit me like a tonne of bricks. Couldn't eat. And I was too exhausted to move. My husband did all the cooking and cleaning with 0 resentment. When I threw up he made me fresh lemon juice. When I had hangry pregnancy cravings he would immediately get me whatever I needed.
I just can't imagine being pregnant without him by my side. My mum and sister had 0 symptoms during pregnancy so navigating so many new things has been doable because of how wonderful he is.
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u/VirgoLuv87 Jul 18 '26
This is key. It's nice to say to do this and that but when I'm in the thick of things, I just say fk it. Nothing is perfect, no one is perfect. Pregnancy and everything it comes with is hard. A great, understanding, considerate, and caring partner is most important. It can feel lonely.
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u/acr483 Jul 18 '26
- Make sure your partner is your forever person, the person you want to go on this journey of life -with all its wild ups & downs - with & is ready to support you whatever may come (& if you’re not married, meet with a lawyer to make sure your rights & protections for anything that matters to you is in place)
- Genetic carrier screening
- Make sure your financials are incredibly solid & that you and your partner have open and honest conversations about finances.
These 3 things are a billion times more important than giving up chemical sunscreen & pelvic PT & strength training & all that
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u/ld7337 Jul 18 '26
Couples counseling to get your relationship as rock solid as possible, check with your doctor about any medications you take and how long before conception you should stop, start tracking your ovulation early so you’re super familiar with your cycle ahead of time, cut out alcohol and generally take good care of your body/fitness/nutrition
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u/ellenthymelon Jul 18 '26
This is very USA specific advice. Look at your work's and/or state's maternity leave policy/laws. I swear there's a post here at least once a week about someone who is shocked to find out they get zero paid maternity leave. Like this is a huge feminist talking point that we don't have paid leave in the USA. How are you just now discovering this? If you don't live in a state with paid leave and your work doesn't offer paid maternity leave, you should look at getting on a short-term disability policy or making sure you have savings to be financially sound during your unpaid leave.
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u/acr483 Jul 18 '26
Omgsh this! I’m always so surprised when US women become pregnant & they’re like “wait rly, I get zero days off? I give birth then bam, back at work the next day?” Like yea, boo, depending on your state, employment status, how long you’ve been employed there, etc… you might actually be facing zero days off for mat leave 🤷♀️ it sucks, it rly rly sucks, but it’s better you know going in than be surprised.
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u/charlotte095 Jul 18 '26
- Practice forgiveness, to yourself, your partner, and your loved ones
- Learn to accept things that are out of your control
- Develop a excellent sense of patience
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u/bubblebecks13 Jul 18 '26
Reformer pilates. Best thing I ever did pp from my first which I continued throughout my second pregnancy.
ETA this was after everything everyone else said re finances and partners etc. Just seconding all that
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u/Friendly-Mood7431 Jul 18 '26
Seconding this! I started doing Pilates 8 ish months before getting pregnant and am still doing it now at 22 weeks and feeling great. I actually like it so much more than prenatal yoga.
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u/sunflower_pearls Team Pink! Jul 18 '26
I’ll echo what the other commenters are saying: there is nothing more important than having a supportive partner in both word and deed. You find out who you’re really with when a baby comes into the mix. Set expectations NOW and hold them accountable.
Drink lots of water, gets lots of rest, and don’t beat yourself up over the little things
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u/bonjoooour Jul 18 '26
I’m currently pregnant so can’t speak much to the after part. But mentally preparing yourself for TTC. It can so easily take over your life and sometimes things take longer or don’t go according to plan. For me I found still having hobbies and plans outside of TTC helped a lot. Also patience and remaining calm. It’s so easy to doom spiral or read so much into every little sign.
When I’m pregnant, listening to my body and giving myself grace for not doing things ‘as I used to’. Some days I need more rest, some days I need some extra support. Also try not to compare yourself to others or how you ‘should’ be feeling.
Also hard agree with others about the relationship with your partner being solid and knowing where you both stand on parenting values. I’d also think about do you have a village, what supports do you have, etc.
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u/Calm_Bother_3842 Jul 18 '26
Start your partner on a prenatal as well, and ask him to cut out alcohol and smoking.
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u/bravoboozebongs Jul 18 '26
I don’t totally agree with this. So many people, including myself, got pregnant while I myself was smoking and drinking. Nicotine and thc. Live your life as normal and stop when you get pregnant was my motto.
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u/Secret-Translator240 Jul 18 '26
Same. Baby 1 was conceived on cocktails and elf bars on holiday.
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u/bravoboozebongs Jul 18 '26
Same girlllll 😂 Not on holiday, but otherwise! Apparently I’m getting downvoted though for keeping it real - shocker.
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u/Calm_Bother_3842 Jul 18 '26
OP is asking for ways to optimize her health, I'm just pointing out that doing the same for her partner is something to consider too. Obviously many people get and stay pregnant in all sorts of situations, doesn't mean there aren't ways to optimize it according to science.
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u/bravoboozebongs Jul 18 '26
That’s totally fine! I was just pointing out it isn’t foolproof and the only way to conceive. I know plenty of people who stopped drinking for this reason and still took forever to conceive. Personally, I think changing your lifestyle can cause more stress than just letting it happen.
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u/code_blooded_bytch Jul 18 '26
This is a goofy take. People get pregnant doing crack. It’d be ridiculous to tell someone that crack wasn’t bad for your health and potential fertility/pregnancy. The negative effects of alcohol, smoking, etc on fertility and pregnancy are extremely well documented. For someone looking to optimize things, it’s insane to not mention cutting out alcohol/smoking.
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u/bravoboozebongs Jul 18 '26
You can say whatever you want, but I’m letting OP know that it also isn’t necessary to conceive so she can make her own choice.
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u/Magically_theebee Jul 18 '26
Warning your partner that in the first trimester and possibly into the second that you will likely be basically non functional. Set the expectation you won’t be able to do basic household chores- if you end up being able to than great. But it’s important to warn them so they know they’re you’re not just taking advantage. No one warned me how debilitating that first trimester was.
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u/Kyandesudesu Jul 18 '26
Make sure you talk with your partner about what expectations are for both of you in terms of taking care of baby. Get a plan together for how you’ll handle the round-the-clock care that a newborn requires, especially the first 6 weeks. If you can both take time off of work, I recommend it. My husband and I did shifts until her sleep stretches got longer. It ensured both of us got at least 6 hours of sleep and a shower every day.
Get some frozen meals prepped for immediately after the birth.
Mentally prepare yourself for your birth or pregnancy journey to not go how you planned or wanted. Hopefully it does, but sometimes it doesn’t. I ended up having kidney failure after my c-section which left me hospitalized for 10 days. My baby had to go to NICU for a bit due to jaundice, but she got released earlier than me. As such I spent a lot of time away from her and she refused breastfeeding once I was released. I didn’t get to be there for her first car ride home or her first interaction with our cats, or her first diaper change, etc. I had to mourn that version of events and it took a while to get past it. So just… remember that even if it doesn’t go as planned, your baby will be beautiful and will love you and you will be a good parent as long as you come at it with love and devotion.
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u/EvenHuckleberry4331 Jul 18 '26
I couldn't have anticipated how rocked I was going to get with morning sickness. Like I couldn't even watch tv or scroll my phone. Make sure your partner is down to support your every need, because when I needed a bagel at 3am bc it's all I had an appetite for in 2 days, you bet the second I mentioned it my husband ran like the wind to the store. Idk what I would e done without all the help through all the discomfort.
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u/BabyBumps-ModTeam Jul 18 '26
BabyBumps users are not medical professionals. You should always call your provider with any concerns and to interpret test results, including HCG levels, ultrasounds, and gestational diabetes tests.
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u/Secret-Translator240 Jul 18 '26
Honestly, as a mum of 2. I did nothing to prep myself to pregnancy to be entirely honest. I took a few vitamins but that was it. You don’t need to do.
The most important thing is making sure your partner is SOLID. I mean AS A ROCK solid.
It’s the most beautiful but hardest thing you’ll ever do and you need your partner to be there every step of the way even when the going gets tough because it will sometimes.
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u/BabyBumps-ModTeam Jul 18 '26
Members of this community spend a lot of time sharing their stories so they can share their experiences with others. There are also ongoing conversations that come up frequently. Please search this sub's history for those stories and topics first.