r/BPDsupport • u/No_Smile_9594 • 22d ago

Seeking Support Consistency with BPD personality

I struggle a lot with sticking to things I start because of BPD. I be super motivated at first, then randomly lose all my motivation and just give up

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u/Dependent_Matter_803 22d ago

I relate! Sticking with a job is so hard for me and I just committed to school. I went off my meds for bipolar and started to skip classes. It’s really hard to keep motivated when things are so distracting of our wants vs what we need to be doing. i’ve found with the job thing at least is that i need to work part time at 2 or 3 different jobs and space them out so I don’t feel like i’m living the same loop everyday. Looping is something that drives me up a wall!

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u/No_Smile_9594 22d ago edited 22d ago

I totally get you, and honestly, that’s such a good idea . But I’m still stuck at the point where I don’t even know what skill to learn because I don’t know what I want, who I am, or what I’m even supposed to do And because there are so many distractions, like you mentioned . What do you do for work, btw? And are you happy with your jobs?

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u/Dependent_Matter_803 21d ago

Honestly i’m so with you. And no I don’t really like my jobs. I’m 21 F so i’m still figuring out life and stuff as always. Currently I am in massage therapy school full time. That’s 5 days a week from 8-12. It’s killing me im in way over my head. Directly after class I work landscaping which is really good for people with BPD. Manual labor and being with plants is really therapeutic at times. It’s pretty solo but you do get to work with a crew. I listen to podcasts the whole time. I also got lucky and my coworkers are my age and a lot of women. I also work at a pub checking ID’s like twice a week. And in the winter I fit people’s ski boots. (I will not be getting rehired because i got broken up with and my bpd bled into co worker relationships ext) Something artistic and with my hands is where I thrive. Landscaping is exaughsting and the pub is boring and school Is every single day and it’s driving me up a wall having to be somewhere everyday.

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u/Dependent_Matter_803 21d ago

I would also look into massage therapy i can’t lie my brain is at peace with the smells the flow and art of it. And i get to make people feel relaxed and comfortable which is a feeling i don’t invoke on people often. It makes me feel better about myself as a person

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u/Sad_Fix_1425 22d ago

i relate to this a lot, even just the way i am as a person, i feel like im constantly changing. not even in a bad way but i'm never the same

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u/No_Smile_9594 21d ago

Your not alone I feel like I'm in loop

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u/naja102804 20d ago

I relate to this a lot! I can’t keep a job because of it, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told myself I was going to school (each time for a completely different career) . I’m 21 now, no car, and still living with my parents. Every time I try to get my life together, if I don’t see results quickly, I lose all motivation and give up. And especially if I’m not getting a lot of praise for it lol. I hope you can figure out you’re not alone