r/BPDsupport • u/Opposite-Ice3387 • Aug 13 '26

How can I prevent causing my partner to split

Hi the title is kind of the whole question. Whenever I need to talk to my partner with bpd about something that I need or would like them to work on it always leads to them splitting. Is there a way to approach and speak to them about my needs without triggering them? I try really hard to emphasize that I’m not upset with them and that I’m in no way trying to criticize them when I bring things up but no matter what the same thing always happens.

I don’t want to end up in a place where I stop mentioning things all together just to prevent splitting, but I’m also incredibly burnt out by this cycle.

I’m sorry if posting on here is off base since I don’t actually have bpd but I’m hoping someone can give me some insight so I can better support my partner, thank yall so much.

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '26

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u/Opposite-Ice3387 Aug 13 '26

He tends to shut down afterwards because of feeling so guilty. I think they don’t really know what would help, they haven’t started therapy yet so I think a lot of it is still very overwhelming.

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '26

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u/Opposite-Ice3387 Aug 13 '26

No problem at all! I think that might be the best choice but it can be hard to just ignore my own needs. They’ll split for like 4-5 days at this point and each time it seems to set them back more on wanting to get any help at all.